Saturday, January 31, 2009

Portrait of the Artist as a Fucking Asshole

D4 song, look it up. Anyway, Belle tagged me in a uhh....I guess it was sort of like a journal entry/blog on Facebook. She kinda just listed 25 important (or sometimes less important, but usually very accurate) points about who she is. Well I thought I could use that as a blog entry for today, so why not? The title of hers was "Portrait of a Woman, Poster of a Girl" or something like that. See? I thought I'd be funny and use the D4 song name (that already rips off something [Belle told me what it was at one point, but I don't remember]).

1. I never get to analyze myself and when I find out that people like or dislike me, it always strikes me as "Whoa! They actually have opinions about me?!" That being said, this list is a new thing to me.

2. I never never say never. Never.

3. I'm not cynical, I'm naive and I try to be as honest as I can. (That's a Randy lyric, but it's also true.) But no seriously, I haven't experienced a lot of fucked-up shit, I guess. Like when I think of "family's drug/alcohol history," I think of my uncle (who is now divorced to my aunt) chewing snuff. And I've never done drugs or drank or anything, so I guess that makes me naive.

4. Though I'm one of the most honest people I know, I'm also one of the most emo on a daily basis people I know. (I'm obviously not very good at these lists of self-analysis.) I don't know why I'd want to lie to people because I learned early in life that lieing bites you in the ass later on. I've also, now that I'm 17, figured out that things will always get better one day, it's just harder to realize that when you're not on one of those better days. Therefor, I act really emo and depressed a lot. The bad emo (without the suicidal tendencies).

5. I love girls. Girls are wonderful. I've only been attracted to probably enough to count on two hands in my life, but they're still awesome. That being said, I'm not the most masculine guy I know by any means. And that being said, I'm very comfortable with myself. This should probably be a list of 100 things and I could do without all of this elaboration. Anyway, girls are awesome. They make me happy.

6. Boys are okay to hang out with and talk to sometimes. I've found a lot less boys that I trust with telling things than I have found girls. It's probably like a 6/1 girl/boy ratio for people I trust with knowledge. However, I very much appreciate that boys that will listen to my relationship/life problems on a daily or weekly basis. Boys tend to be too homophobic and/or racist and/or complete assholes for me to be comfortable being around. I was raised by women. Now I live with gay men.

7. I love relationships. Relationships make me feel safe and loved and respected. Now, the ending of relationships kind of has a counter effect, but it usually works out that I feel better in the end than I felt in the beginning, so relationships are still awesome when you boil them down. Relationships might not be for some people, but they're all I can take.

8. I love talking. I feel safer on MSN/AIM or when alone with someone one on one. But when I'm in one of those situations, I could talk until I passed out. Especially when talking to a girl I like (ask any girl I've ever liked). I tell people that adding me to MSN is like signing up for a mailing list for listening to me bitch about everything. Anyone that reads my blog could have probably told me that, though.

9. I love me some punk. Everything about punk is awesome (except maybe Johnny Rotten and the gluesniffing/crack snorting/alcoholism/group sex [still a little bit cool]/and other drug abuse methods). But the free thinking? Free speaking? Free beer at NOFX shows (not that I drink, but it was cool that they did that)? What's not awesome about that? Did I mention there aren't a bunch of washed-up hippy scumbags in punk, too? All of that, and the music is very energetic and often relatable (unless it's about something ridiculous like having cereal wars, but that's still enjoyable). It's just a lot of fun, it's educational (if you're into political punk), it's self-expressive, it's not overtaken by bull shit (unless you're into like Anti-Flag and The Distillers), and what else? There's no drama. There's mutual respect. No homophobia, no racism (unless you're a Nazi punk, in which case you should listen to Jello Biafra and fuck off). The stereotypical style is fun, but punk doesn't really care how you dress. It's all about being yourself. The only problems I have are that there aren't as many girls (I blame the media for consuming them at a young age with Radio Disney) and the girls that there are are often on drugs and/or have really bad teeth. Oh well, I'll survive.

10. I don't like eating as much as I used to. Weird. Don't know why that is. I don't really eat for pleasure or taste, I do it for the keeping me alive aspect.

11. I love to play the drums. It's my favorite thing to do, I'm pretty sure. I like it not just because I'm better at it than I am most anything, but because...I guess I just like it because I'm good at it. It's a self-expression thing. It's my outlet. When I feel I have something to say, I don't paint a picture. I play drums fucking loudly.

12. I love playing chromatic (usually stringed) instruments. Guitar/piano/whatever. Things that I can write lyrics to and sing with at the same time (as opposed to singing along while playing a flute or something) are what I like. I'm not as good at guitar or piano as I am drums, so it makes the expression thing sometimes harder, but what I can express can be put into terms that other people can easily pick up on (those being songs with lyrics). Chords are also fun to make because they sound fuller than playing like bass or something. I don't know, I guess I just like guitar and piano a lot, but I also love my bass.

13. I love music in general. Music is better than art (another Randy lyric/concept). I won't really say that as a true, unbiased statement, but music can do so much for me than any other kind of art can...except maybe like acting/movie/whatever they call it art. You know, movies and plays. Maybe that means I'm just shallow when compared to people that are more encapsulated by a drawing, but whatever. I am what I am. I could talk about how awesome music is for days, but I'm done!

14. I like crying...or things that make me cry. If a song can make me cry, it's probably an excellent song. If a movie can make me cry, it's probably an excellent movie. I don't mean sad cry, I mean "That was absolutely fucking beautiful" cry. The Jets to Brazil song "Cat Heaven" and the movie Seven Pounds are prime examples. If I were to cry while watching Bambi at any point in my life, that doesn't make it an excellent movie to me. That means his mom was shot and I feel empathy. Big difference.

15. I'm glad I never tried sports. After being a speculator for so many years and after playing sports in gym class, I've concluded that it was a good idea for me to not get involved with sports as younger child. Sports kind of represents everything I hate when it comes to attitudes.

16. I'm a fucking vegetarian. I haven't had meat in 2 years this month. However, I'm wearing a leather jacket right now because it keeps me warm and I've not been feeling good. Not that wearing a leather jacket makes me feel good, but ehh. It makes me feel contradictory, though. At least this jacket has existed for a long time and served a purpose time in again instead of being something that's pleasurable to someone's mouth for one meal. Oh, and yeah, I do it all for animal rights, not for dieting or anything stupid like that. It's a beliefs thing.

17. I'm not religious. I don't like religion. It's not for me. I don't believe in any of them. I tried religion and lived with it for 15 years. I grew out of it. However, I've no problems with anyone else's beliefs as long as they respect mine (or my lack of them, I guess). I also believe that religion has nothing to do with moral values or judgment of good and bad. I know what's right to do and what is horrible. I don't know entirely what I believe happens when you die, but all I know and am concerned about is that I'm alive right now, for whatever reason.

18. I love blogging. This is probably going to be my longest one to date, or it has the potential to be one, at least.

19. I am very confident in myself. That's not to say that I'm completely confident when talking to certain people or anything, but I mean that I know what I am like inside and try to portray that image on the outside. If anyone has a problem with it, I know that I can't do a lot about that and wouldn't care to do anything to satisfy them if I could. I like myself and that is important to me. The motive for mentioning this was as a response to all of the "Your hair never looks washed" comments from an anonymous source via MySpace Truth Boxes. I don't care. I like my hair, thank you very much.

20. I don't want a job. I want to be a successful musician. I don't want to go to college. I don't want to finish high school. I don't want to grow up. I am going to have to live with probably most of those not working out in my favour, but I reailze that and am okay with it. My ideal would be to constantly tour and record music while maintaining a very healthy relationship with somebody that loves me as much as I do. That's what I aim for in life.

21. I don't like bands that are in it for the wrong reasons (money being the main point of reference). I also hate mediocrity in music, especially when those mediocre bands are made out to be something wonderful. This is a summary of what I say in my blog every day.

22. Some little things that make me happy include: my lucky beret, my Descendents Vans, The Office, Animal Crossing, The Legend of Zelda, Super Smash Bros, FreeCell, and random acts of kindness.

23. I love my family for what it is and who the people in it are. Every normal family is disfunctional.

24. I don't like TV, I don't like South Park, I don't like cell phones, I don't like George W Bush, I don't like drugs, I don't like candy, but if you are into any of those things, I won't hold it against me...unless you believe you can't function without any of them. Especially if you don't think you can function without George W. What the fuck?

25. I live with regrets, but I don't let them get to me. I'm as honest to myself as I am to anyone else.


Friday, January 30, 2009

Oh, by the way, yesterday was my 50th post.

Kyle here. Writing to write again. I think this writing..."journalizing," if you will, is going to come in handy now that I'm in AP English. We have to "journalize" a lot on our feelings on things. I obviously have feelings on things. I would think you'd pick that up, at least. Very deep, elaborate feelings usually. I've half decided that this blog is as much of a record to show myself where I've come from as it is to tell anyone else how I feel. I really could give two shits what anyone knows about me sometimes. Alex is the one that posts about the important and applicable news in life, anyway. If I were to do the same thing, it'd be kind of lame-o. So I only tell you the news that directly affects MY day. There were bombings on the Gaza Strip? The West Bank? Who knew? Alex did. Listen to him. He's a subscriber of mine and I'm not into hyperlinks like he is, so find him yourself. Too much effort for me, I'm a little too informal for that kind of fancy mumbo jumbo.

I haven't decided if this semester is going to be easier than the last one or not. I have chemistry gone forever now, so that's a plus, but I now have Trig and AP English. Now I'm not real worried about Trig because it's math and I don't give a shit about math work because it's easy for me (I'm just trying to warm up and remember where the fuck X and Y points go when graphing the less than/greater than/equal to shit). But I'm still going to have homework in math probably every day and some from English. Third block is such a joke, that the whole semester feels like one. Computer applications II. Do you know what I do in that class? This. I fucking read BSC and whatever Alex has posted and check Oh, and I fucking read stuff and write what it says on a computer. That's tough.

12 AM just rolled along, so it's officially the last day of the month. Remember how this month started for me? I do...I was laying on a couch with Katie feeling safer than I've ever felt before in my life. We'd just gotten finished watching P.S. I Love You. We were watching the ball drop while Hannah Fucking Montana was running her song into the last minute of the year interupting the countdown (though that fucking channel was doing a count UP). What could possibly go wrong at a time like that? We were happy and found no reason why we shouldn't be. No worries, no complications, 5 months guaranteed to be with each other and then a lifetime of uncertainty and mystery. That dream hasn't worked out. So this month has ended on a really bad note, but maybe it's a modulation and I don't understand why it's happening like this yet. So hopefully it will all make more sense when the next month pulls along. (If you don't understand music theory or what a modulation is, then that probably meant little to you.)

All of that is seemingly behind me now, though. Tim and I have decided to start a new band that is more "serious" than any band we've ever been in thus far. I mean serious in a literal term meaning that the lyrics and songs are more serious (at least more serious than I Forget or The Upstairs lyrics). Why? Well I've got a lot of emotions to express and Tim would like a band that doesn't fuck around a lot at rehearsals and we both want to try out some indie music. Oh, and I'll be singing and playing guitar/piano (still undecided) and we're recruiting Alex (another indie music fan) to play drums for us. Why do I need another band? I don't really. I love music, though. I need to express myself, too. Sorry little blog, but you can only take me so far.

Oh, I've almost forgotten to tell my blog readers (who probably all know this bit of information anyway), but after I got done bitching via a new blog yesterday, my cat shit on me. She kept walking across the keyboard as I was typing and I couldn't see what was going on, so I'd keep picking her up and putting her on the floor. Well after putting her down one time, I smelled something awful. It appeared to be coming from my hand, which I realized was a little bit wet. It was definitely coming from my hand, which smelled like death/ass/shit, but most accurately shit. The cat had squirt a liquidy shit when I picked it up and it had gotten on my hand, my mouse, and my mouse pad. What the fuck, right? That's what I proclaimed. So I had to wipe that shit up (literally), Germ-X my hands, mouse, and keyboard to death, and take a fucking bath. Great way to top off the day.

I have no idea what tomorrow holds or can hold. Hopefully I get with a friend and laugh the day away or something chill. I could sleep as I've taken up as a hobby recently. I do love sleeping. My dreams are a very nice haven.

Closing topic for the (meaning Friday, not the 35 minutes of Saturday) was the Flamingo Day party at my mom's house. Kayleigh, my sister, came with her boyfriend Thomas. My aunt, my cousins, my grandma, my grandma's best friend, and my aunt and uncle in law (I guess that works) all came over. Here's what I don't like about holidays (especially when they're just made up): they're a day that's supposed to exist for celebration, relaxation, and entertainment. Well Flamingo Day preperation became just another stress-filled event that shouldn't have even happened. I know I'm not the invetor of that thought, but come on, mom. You're the one who made this holiday up, you should be the one enjoying it for everything you intended it to be. Granted, her kids (I being one of them) could have helped her out more, but who cares if the floor's a little dirty? If everything isn't in perfect order? You worked a long day at work, now come home and enjoy your made-up holiday. At least she had a lot more of an argument to be angry than my dad did the other night, but I've still not had the year that leaves me in a tolerable mood to listen to my parents bitch about something, especially when my positive actions aren't being considered (like me doing the dishes for her without her asking). So sleep well tonight, mom. You deserve it, but I hope you realize that holidays shouldn't be spent with all of the stress surrounding the actual celebration.

Oh, and thank you, to whoever reads this, for caring enough about me to actually read through all of this. I appreciate it a lot. If more people at least would listen and consider in the world, it would be a much more tolerant and happier place. Now let's hope that February kicks January's ass! Just one more day of January left and hopefully this nightmare will be over.


Thursday, January 29, 2009

I'm gonna sleep real well tonight.

Hey all, I'm here to say that I just woke up. I'm also here to say that my iPod no longer works. And my dad doesn't trust me. And Katie is probably never going to fucking talk to me again. So maybe I'm just in a mood because I just woke up, but for some reason, I feel that there's more shit at hand than being cranky. So I guess this gives me topics for discussion. Oh joy, another hope-filled one.

Okay so I don't feel 100% right now, so I decided to sleep it off today. My dad was coming home and I didn't really feel like putting up with that and it's cold down here and no one was talking to me, so I didn't want to stay awake and sit through that. So logically, one would sleep. Well I just slept for 3 or 4 hours on a school night. I'm never going to fall asleep tonight. Instead, I'll stay up and worry about all of the things going on in my life right now and completely ignore the fact that I've had a very musically productive week. I'm not looking forward to this.

My iPod doesn't turn on anymore. Not while it's not plugged into the computer. That's just great, too, isn't it? Why is this? I have not the slightest idea. I looked up the problem on an Apple message board. Over 15,000 people had read the question, but not one had a solution (however, many had the same problem). I'm guessing this is one of those problems that Apple doesn't want anyone to know about. I'm really let down, because my last iPod worked fantastically. This one made it like a month. That's also very discouraging. I reset it, I restored it, I did everything. It still doesn't turn on without being plugged in. This wouldn't be a problem IF I could bring a computer with me everywhere with an iPod plugged into the USB port but uhh...that's obviously retarded and not a plausible solution.

My dad doesn't trust me, at least I don't think he does. He called me yesterday at my mom's around 9 or so. The first thing he said was "Where the hell have you been?" Where did he think I was? I was at my mom's house. I'd been at my mom's house since around 4 on Tuesday. Not only had I just been at my mom's, but I'd been STUCK at my mom's house. I know he was concerned and wondering where I was and worried that I'd gone somewhere and risked crashing and dieing. I told him that I call him every time I go somewhere and since I always spend the night at my mom's on Tuesday that he should have at least assumed I was there and would have called my mom's house hours earlier instead of calling my next to dead, turned off cell phone. He told me I don't call him every time I go somewhere. I argued that I do and asked when I didn't. He told me I didn't call him when I went to see Katie in (he said Pennsylvania) Maryland with Cris. Well, he's right. I didn't call him. I didn't even think of calling him. Why? Because I went on my mom's weekend to have me. I've never had to call my dad to go somewhere while I'm with my mom before. Does he want me to call every time I go to Cumberland or Romney or to church? So anyway, he was concerned about my well-being but I wasn't going to be an ass-kisser just so he'd not be as angry with me. I felt like he was accusing me of doing things or going places that I shouldn't. When have I ever done that? When was the last time I smoked? The last time I drank? The last time I went to a "party"? Never. I haven't even fucking had sex in 16 months. That kind of made me feel like shit.

On the topic of feeling like shit, yes, Katie has not spoken to me since Friday and that'd been the first time she'd had an actual conversation with me since the day I went and visited her. She doesn't even text or comment or message me back now. I've avoided this topic for two weeks now, but I really feel like I have nothing to lose by saying this at this point. I'm really curious to know where I fucked up this time. Never in the past have I done something so bad to make a girl completely ignore me. And looking back, I have no idea what set this one off. I guess things like that happen, but I really feel like shit over it. It's kind of a really shitty thank you for me going all the way out to visit her because she can't find a ride out here, for putting enough faith and hope into her and I sustaining a relationship despite the distance, and to all of the things we said and did over the month she did here. Maybe there's something I'm missing here. Maybe she's not intentionally ignoring me or maybe she has a good reason for it. Or maybe it's exactly as it seems. It's hard to tell because she won't talk to me at all about any of this. Anyone who has read my blog for any length of time should know that this is a huge drawback in my life. I'll live through it yeah, but this just sucks.

Does that cover everything that's shot another week of my year to hell? I think it does, but I'm sure there's something I could be forgetting or just blocking out of my mind. So anyway...does anyone have any words of encouragement? Any advice? I could really use some of both at this point. I wish I'd had my lucky beret with me....


Wednesday, January 28, 2009

This is the way it goes...maybe we'll fall in love when I get home

I've got nothing right now, so it should be interesting to see where this goes. Well because all of my blogging power was used on telling people to get to a show, I didn't report that we didn't have school and therefor, my lucky beret followed through again. We didn't have school today, either, so I slept until around noon and then went back to sleep on the couch for like another two hours. So needless to say, I'm probably overslept.

I'm not really happy with anyone right now and I'm not sure why. I'm not particularly angry at everyone, but I'm just very content not talking to anyone right now. I'm in one of those "I need to write a song because I've been saying I'm going to for months now" moods, but the only guitar I have here is missing the A string, so it kind of makes writing more difficult and I focus more on getting those extra notes in than I do on writing something that hasn't been written yet. That and I've listened to Alkaline Trio nonstop all week and all I do when I sit down is play a million Alk3 songs. On that subject, I adore Alkaline Trio, but I don't think they're the best band at writing songs when it comes to writing entire songs. For instance, "Calling All Skeletons" starts off with the catchiest vocal melody in the world, but it's kind of overused throughout the song and the rest of the song fails to match the amazingness of the verse vocal melody. Also, in the song "Love Love, Kiss Kiss," the bridge is just kind of weak. I get what they were going was like a climax where Matt Skiba (as opposed to Dan who sings the rest of the song) comes in and sings...but it doesn't really take the song any higher than it's already gone. So once again, I feel that they're not always top notch, but they definitely are amazing and even at their worst, they're better than most bands' best. Especially for a band on a major label, they keep it real.

Anyway, you won't care about that unless you listen to Alkaline Trio, which a lot of people don't. So I'll say something you might be more familiar with. Snow days. As I might have said earlier, this is our second one in a row. It's more like an ice day. Snow days are cool when it comes to getting to sleep in...but when there's no one to do anything with and no way to get to anyone to do anything with, they kind of just become a day of depression. Sure, the ice on the trees is beautiful and the snow looks amazing, but once they plow it and there's fucking brown snow everywhere, it's just ugly. And you can only contently stare at the ice on trees for so long before you realize that you're very lonely. And get this: even if I were at my dad's, my drumset isn't there because I'm recording drums this week (or I'm supposed to). I finished the drums for the new I Forget album, yes. You got me there. However, we're doing some older songs over again and I need to record drums for them. Also! Jason told me that his friend Steve "Jesus" needs someone to record drums for a CD he's putting out. So I said that'd be awesome. So I'm also keeping my drums there until I record them for an acousticy-pop-based album. Awesome.

Anyway, while that's all really amazing, I've got nothing to do at my dad's but play guitar, bass, and piano. Oh pity, huh? It is. I can't live without drums. I can, but it hurts, I should say. Everything hurts anymore...I want my lucky beret back. How could I have forgotten it at my dad's? I also forgot my acoustic with 6 strings. I'm a fool to think I could survive without those things. So I've been wearing my hood up and playing a 5-string. It's the equivalent of living off of Ramen noodles.

This weekend...what's going on this weekend? Okay Friday is the Flamingo Day party. Flamingo Day is technically today (January 28th), but my mom, for some reason, scheduled it for Friday. It was a good call, looking outside at the ice-caped roads. Anyway, I must explain what Flamingo Day is. mom hates the winter, she hates the cold, she hates the snow. She loves the warm, the beach, and the sun, though. Oh, and she loves flamingos. So what's appropriate? A made-up holiday in the middle of winter where we turn the heat up, raise the electric bill, dress like we're fucking from a Carribean island or some shit, and eat lots of fruit and chips and stuff (because drinking alcoholic beverages is bad). Oh, and we play music like Weezer's "Island in the Sun" and a bunch of other less-tolerable beachy-songs. So anyway, that's gonna be my Friday. Saturday I have no idea and Sunday I guess I'm going back to the studio! We have a fucking album to finish up. Have I mentioned that it's going to be the most I Forget-y album ever put out? It's very classic I Forget-like, but it's also very experimental. Not like tune our guitars to the key of shit and play marimbas and big African woodwind instruments, but's not your basic song structures and chord progressions and chorus ideas all of the time. Non-conventional in a lot of ways. Very un-I Forget in a lot of ways, too. It's gonna be good, trust me.

Okay, did I cover anything of any importance? I don't think I did. If I come up with something by the end of the day, I'll post another one.


Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Kill this scene and bring the old one back

As you may know, but if you're younger you probably don't, the Cumberland area used to have a pretty kickass music scene. And with the closing of Ahern's, The Storm Cellar, and every other venue, it died. However, the kids still stuck around...or became scene kids and then influenced the younger kids to become scene kids that don't even know what the "scene" is about. That's why this scene is dead, but we still need to exterminate the zombies. At this point, it's like fuck it. Just give us ANY kind of music (besides these fucking cover bands and Queen City Funk and Soul). Even the hardcore bands that stole the scene from the other (I think BETTER) genres are now gone. So we have like 3 or 4 underground bands that do nothing except sometimes write songs and play for their friends (I Forget and The Upstairs being two of them). The Romney scene died within a year since all of the Romney-based bands broke up and the only bands left are like pending metal bands (pending meaning that they're writing songs and contemplating making an appearance one day).

Anyway, so all of the punk bands died. The Sirs, ScReW-b@lZ, Grenade Brigade, and whoever else there was. They're all gone now. They're not even GONE, they just don't play anymore because there is nowhere TO play. The fact that I Forget is together is kind of stupid in an area like this, but we do what we do to get by. I wish it was still one of those show-every-weekened areas. Hell, there used to be two or three shows every weekend and everyone would go. Except for me, being the bad scene kid I am, because something would always stop me from getting to Ahern's. I did, however, go to the Storm Cellar 3 or 4 times to watch some local and touring acts.

And I don't even think it's just here. Apparently lots of places are losing their scene. (When saying "scene" here, I don't mean the scenesters and their arms race.) That isn't cool. Martinsburg still has a punk scene going I think, though. The area has Disclosure and The Vankills and there's A Squir Gun Drive By, Sin City Gamblers, The Undercover Saints, and probably a bunch more. We're trying to jump into that shit, but we're also trying to get something going here back home. Yeah, The ScReW-b@lZ are reuniting and we're opening for them. It's gonna be fucking badass. What day is that? I think February 27th. It's gonna be fuckin' awesome. You see, we've never really been THAT punk before, but the punk scene eats us up for some reason. Maybe it's because we KNOW punk. I know my punk, by god. I can't wait for the day someone calls me a poseur and I get to kick his/her ass. Anyway, the punk scene is amazing if you haven't witnessed it first hand. There's kind of an arms race on who's more punk, but no one really cares if you're not very punk as long as you don't wear a "Use your brain; vote McCain" shirt. To a NOFX/D4 show! We should have lynched that guy just for being a dumbass.

I really don't know where I'm going with this whole post, but I'll take it somewhere. This is my message to YOU: when there is a show, you fucking do everything in your power to get to it and watch every band that plays. We need to kill the fucking scene kids (I thought I saw David Irwin about 4 times the other night at Walmart, but it was just other boys and girls that looked just like him) and then show what's left of them what a real show is. We need our punk army to punch them in the face every time they try to bring their drama to a show, too. Shows are not the place! This is your show behaviour lesson for the day! Go to shows, fucking mosh, fucking sing, fucking dance, fucking fuck shit up (but don't break things that will make the venue have to close or the show end or I'll personally dismember body parts from you). When I Forget plays up in Frostburg with Anarcoustic, The Undercover Saints, and ScReW-b@lZ, I expect you to fucking be there singing and dancing along even if you really don't know what's going on. I'll fucking choreograph a dance to each I Forget song and post a video of how it's done on Youtube with the song lyrics if I have to to get you to dance and sing at our shows. Oh and for the love of anything, clap, cheer, whistle, eat shit, fire a gun, or do anything that shows that you appreciated the song after one is done being played. There's nothing worse than silence after a band rips through a song. Even if they completely soil themselves by sucking, give them encouragement to play the next song better. The scene is about sticking together and fighting for a cause, not about tearing each other apart and seeing who can have choppier hair and tighter pants. You know what a battle for choppier hair and tighter pants results in? Fat, bald girls in skinny jeans. Not a pretty sight or thought.

I might sound like Teddy Roosevelt, but the scene doesn't need to be destroyed, it just needs to be regulated. They got it all, but they've got it all wrong in the words of The Hives. So go fuckin' rock your ass off to some local music whenever the chance arises. The music scene's survival depends on your attendance. Don't fuck it up and let it die again if it comes back.


Monday, January 26, 2009

I'm impressed

Okay, check this out. My lucky beret is amazing. Guess what happened today? Not only did the dentist show up, but they did all three of my fillings at once so I don't have to go to the second scheduled appointment. Not only that, but my fillings were so small that I didn't have to be numbed. So no needles in my gums and I got to keep feeling in my face. Oh, and then I got an egg and cheese McGriddle from McDonald's, which is always fantastic.

Skipping ahead a little, Brittney remembered Jason's Flogging Molly CD and I finished up the drums on our new album tonight! Now tell me this week isn't going completely the opposite of how last week went. If it really goes COMPLETELY opposite, then I have some pretty excellent things in store for the rest of this week (sex, sex, please let there be sex).

Anyway, jumping back to school. Today was the last day of the semester. I played Rock Band all third block and played an actual drumset for the second half of fourth block. Then I went straight to the studio after school, found that Jason wasn't there yet, went to Sheetz and got donuts, went back to the studio, listened to the amazing things I recorded yesterday, and then let Shane throw down some bass lines. Brittney, Belle, and I then went to Kauffman's where I bought a new drum head for my lowest floor tom because the old one sounds and is dead. So after buying that, talking to Mark and John, and eating at Taco Bell, we went back to Jason's where I put a new head on my floor tom and rerecorded a song from yesterday that sounded bad because of my dead floor tom. It sounds awesome now. And then I finished the rest of what I had to record for the album and I think I might be completely finished.

And what's awesome? It's supposed to snow tonight and we very well may not have school in the morning. Fucking awesome, huh? And Brittney has work off all week, so we can go into the studio any day we want. We're thinking about rerecording some songs off of our first album. I probably shouldn't release that information to the world, but if you read my blog, then I appreciate it enough that I'll let you know that. I'd love to give you all of the album details and shit right now because there's a lot to give, but I'm keeping most of it confidential.

Dude, today worked out like a wish list. I wonder if, now that I have my lucky beret, I put things that I'm looking forward to on my blog that they will work out! I'll try. I'm looking forward to:
-the possibility of no school tomorrow
-finishing up our album soon (is that too much of a long-term goal?)
-being pleasantly surprised (desperate hope...and are you able to look forward to being surprised? I'm just testing this shit out to see how it works)

So uhhh...if those things work out and happen, I'll be very happy. None of those are set plans for me or anyone in life and the one can't possibly happen in the span of one day, so I'm not going to be too upset if the outcome doesn't come as perfectly as it did today. But hey, I need to find some hope somewhere else in life. Hope is good to have, I've found out.

Shit, I spent money today, didn't I? Ehh, it happens. I'm probably down to around $265 now. I can live with that. Guess that's all I have on my petty life for today. Hope you gave half a shit about any of the things I said! If not, I really don't give a firecrotch's last blow job. I wouldn't ever give head to a firecrotch as it is, though. Oh well.


Sunday, January 25, 2009

I'm not here to deliver the news.

Tomorrow's the day. I'll be done recording drums for another fucking album. Thank fucking God. I had a very nice day. I'm excited to finish this album again. It's always good to like your band's music, which I didn't last night.

I'm still kinda wondering if I'm the butt-end of a joke or not, which isn't cool. I wish I was one of those super-people that could be happy regardless of what else was going on in life. I think I'll have to get cancer and survive it to be like that, though. Or convince myself that there is a god and that that god loves me unconditionally and that is enough reason to not give a shit about the circumstances in life because everything happens because he's trying to make me a better person. I don't buy that, though. I'm very set on making this week better than last week, though. I'd say I'll try to make it the best week of the year, but that'd be asking too much, I'm afraid.

Here's something really funny that Shane said today:

Man: Bitch, what's my name?
Woman: I can't remember! You're fucking my brains out!

Today was easily the most artistically productive day of the year. I'm trying to decide whether or not I want a Flip video camera. They look like this and they have a USB thing that pops out and is really cool:

They're like a really inexpensive yet very useful (in our Youtube-age) video camera. But then I ask often would I use it? It's not like I post videos on Youtube as it is...though I also don't have a cool camera to use to do that, so I'm trying to decide if this would be a good thing for me or an unnecessary thing.

I really need drum brushes and a new cymbal stand. I think I'll use whether or not Mark got that flat-screen computer monitor I told him to get (which I have to pay for). If he didn't get it, then I get to keep my $100 and I'll have more to throw at a Flip camera.

Girls I don't know keep adding me! Where are they coming from?! They're all really young, too! I'm 17 now and that's starting to become an issue. You know? It's not like I want anything sexually from any of these girls, but it's just kind of uncomforting in how they keep adding me. That's really neither here nor there, it's just happening.

Anyway, here's my year in review chronologically: Amazing, even more amazing, worryful, upset, hopeful, distressful, confusing, uncertain, and currently a little better. So even though it's been total shit recently, today was good and tomorrow's going to be good, too. You know why everything fell apart? I left my beret at Jason's house! Now that I got it back, I think things are going to turn around. The ultimate test is whether or not the dentist is there tomorrow to do my teeth and whether or not I finish the drums up. Oh, and Brittney has to remember to bring Jason's Flogging Molly CD tomorrow that I've continuously forgotten to return to him. If those three things go as planned, life is officially getting back on track. Don't let me down now.

Oh, and I had a birthday party last night. If you read this, you were quite possibly there.


Friday, January 23, 2009

THE CLIMAX! [cont.]

So life's yet to improve. You know, all of these little shitty bitch complaints would mean nothing to me if there were some happy things to break them up, but everything's either bland or bad. Matt Skiba sounds like the guy from Piebald on the chorus of Radio. Hot Water Music do a pretty excellent cover of Radio.

So I sing to myself when I have nothing better to do. A Common selection of songs I sing includes, but is not limited to:
"Gamble" - Lowest of the Low
"You Look Like I Need a Drink" - Against Me!
"Miami" - Against Me!
"Cavalier Eternal" - Against Me!
"Time to Waste" - Alkaline Trio
"Armageddon" - Alkaline Trio
"Hurtlin'" - American Steel
"Smile On Me" - American Steel
"The Classical Arrangement" - Dillinger Four
"Worry Rock" - Green Day
"Lighting the Way" - Superdrag
The album Shanked! - Toys That Kill
"After Hours" - We Are Scientists

Looking back, I realize that I don't really sing that many full songs. I know a lot of Weezer ones and like every Green Day, Against Me!, and NOFX song and a ton of other things, but those are the ones I've sang recently. I also like me some Lawrence Arms. I don't know, I don't usually know enough words to a song to get me all the way through, so I B.S. it. Anyway, don't try to imagine me singing any of those songs. I'm not that good.

I like to drum to the following albums:
Dead to Me's Cuban Ballerina
The Lawrence Arms' Oh! Calcutta!
Alkaline Trio's Crimson
Propagandhi's Potemkin City Limits
Blink-182's Enema of State, Take Off Your Pants and Jacket, blink-182
Descendents' Everything Sucks, Cool to be You
Every Dillinger Four album
The Hives' Black and White Album
Weezer's Pinkerton

Now maybe these things mean nothing to you (and they obviously mean nothing to the electricity in the house since it went out as soon as I finished typing them[I think the house's vital memory was too low]), but songs and albums like these keep me going in life. 'Kay? Seriously, I think god is after me. He got rid of the internet one night, he's been fucking with the electricity, he's a mad man!

Anyway, speaking of things that keep me going, here's a video of Blake Schwarzenbach singing some of his songs. The first one is about him losing his virginity and the song is both beautiful and kind of funny in parts. Nicely done. Anyway, here it is.

Blake, as I say all of the time, was the singer of Jawbreaker and Jets to Brazil. I can't wait for him to start making music regularly again!

I'm getting a lot more into more "indie" music than I was before. I hate calling it "indie," because I don't really like that term. I don't know..ehh. But bands like Jets to Brazil and The Weakerthans I listen to for my heart. My heart needs as much music as my brain and body does, I feel. Let's just call it emo, because I like emo more. You know what I mean by "emo," and I'm not going to explain myself every time I post a blog. I'm not telling you who Blake is ever again and I'm not going to explain to you what I mean by "emo" or any of that shit. You should learn as I write.

In the spirit of that, I'm going to allow you to quiz yourself. I'm going to give some names or general proper nouns and you'll see if you know who or what I'm talking about. If you do, then we're set.

-Blake Schwarzenbach
-John K Samson
-Brendan Kelly
-Matt Skiba

Okay, the last one wasn't really a proper noun or anything, but you should still know it, too. So how'd you do? 4/10? 7/10? Do you study and get a 10/10? Lolly's my secret girlfriend, by the way. Here's a new term for you: Check it out.

Okay, so now that I've tested your knowledge, umm...this isn't connected to that at all, so I'm not going to act like it is. My birthday party is tomorrow. Hooray! I've been 17 for 20 days tomorrow! How less significant than my actual birthday! It will be a lot more fun than my birthday was, though. And I really need a fun day because I've had few of those so far this year.

My hair is getting long.



d00d, this week haz been like ttly awsum! && ges how it ended! well, let me tell u about it.

Okay, so this morning, I slept in. Uhh...I set the time on my alarm clock, but I didn't set it to go off. Wonderful. I'm great. So I called my mom and my aunt for like 30 minutes trying to find out who is still home and could take me to school. I had no luck getting ahold of either of them, so I decided to test my luck (which, at this point, seemed like a really good time to try that out) and walk up to my aunt's house to see if she was there. By "walk up," I mean "ran and then hyperventilated." So she was there. That was probably the first thing that has gone smoothly all week was my aunt being at her house when I went up to check.

So I sat down after I got there and caught my breath. And then we got into that wondeful van without any heat in it and we came out here to the VoTech Center in Keyser. And here I am! Most kids would have not bothered trying to get to school if they missed the bus or at least would have waited until their time at the VoTech was up and just gone to school when they would be returning from the VoTech, but no. I came all the way out here to Keyser just because I'm a good student. That, and I have finals next block. So I got like 5 minutes left here until I'm testing again. And then I'll go back to school, eat lunch, do nothing in Chemistry class (except maybe finish my lab report), and then test in fourth block. It's a very eventful day.

Bubbie is looking over my shoulder as I write and it's uncomforting. He's also reading outloud what I write about him. On that note, I think I'm going to go for now. I'll catch up with you later today, blog. Ha.


Thursday, January 22, 2009

The world has turned and left me here

Just where I was before you appeared. You know the words, sing it.

Anyway, good news/bad news. Here we go.

First, the good news! Okay, so Propagandhi released their US and UK tour dates today. The US ones are the only ones that directly affect me. Guess where they're playing on March 11th? The Ottobar in Balitmore. Guess who's playing The Ottobar in Baltimore on the 12th? Dillinger Four. How fucking awesome is that? And guess who Propagandhi's touring with? Jade Tree Record's Paint It Black. I didn't even know Paint It Black still played together, but this is going to be fucking awesome.

So let's see, I'm going to see Propagandhi, Paint It Black, Ruiner, The Bouncing Souls, Dillinger Four, and The A.K.A.s within two days of each other. And tickets are $16 to each show. Okay, so $32 all together. That means it's a little over $5 to see each band. I can dig that. My biggest concern is that they're both on school days. Oh well, it's Propagandhi and D4. School doesn't have shit on them.

Okay, and the bad news! Uhh...this year continues to go either nowhere or get worse. Currently, I have no idea where I stand in life. That's worse than knowing if it sucks or not, I think. And yes, god, I still plan on posting that blog I wrote but haven't gotten to post yet unless you turn things around before I get the opportunity. It's not often that I change my plans or edit myself for circumstances, so feel special.

In further news, girls I don't want anything to do with keep trying to talk to me! AHHH!!!

And uhhh...I like to play the drums. I like to play them even more when I have drum brushes, so I'm excited for the day that I get to go buy some.

I'm supposed to go get my permit sometime this week. Umm, tomorrow's Friday. Doesn't look like this is the week for it, because I have to go to the office and pick up my form tomorrow, so my mom would have to come pick me up, which still can't happen since I have finals during 2nd and 4th block tomorrow! So this is even further shitty. Life, you are just a bowl of rotten apples.

At least I have you, blog, to tell my problems to. If it weren't for you, hell, I'd probably lose my mind. I'm already losing my mind, what am I talking about?

I have a birthday party this weekend. Umm...that's about all I have to say on that subject. And our president is still black!

So as it stands right now, I have very little to look forward to in life. I have a birthday party, and two days in March. I Forget is also playing a few times in February, so those should be fun, too. But as of right now? The peak of my year was definitely New Years day and like...what was it, the 6th and 7th? There have been three exceptional days so far this year and the rest have blown, or at least been weighed down by so much shit that they are left unenjoyable overall.

And here's where my real issue comes it worth it? That's been what I've been wondering all week and I really want someone to answer my question. Would I like this to be worth it? Well let me ask you this: would you rather be miserable for a few weeks only to be left more miserable or would you prefer it to end in something that is more than you could imagine? Of course I want it to be worth it. So uhh...I'm gonna see what I can't do about that. I'm inspired now. I have to go play some music.


Wednesday, January 21, 2009

God really doesn't like me

As I was trying to post a startingly very angry blog yesterday, my internet went out, which just made the end of it even more angry...but I can't post it until I get to my mom's house again when the internet comes back. But I'm definitely going to post and it and I'm going to set the date for last night because that's definitely when I wrote it. So I'll let you know when it's up so you can see just how angry I was getting. I'm still not doing wonderful, but whatever. Last night was not good.

I just finished my finals in first block like 5 minutes ago and now I'm blogging. Crazy what technology has brought us to.

I've been reading reviews on some albums. I'm apparently not crazy, or if I am crazy, I'm at least not alone. I'm not the only one that thinks that all of these new "pop punk" bands are generic and aren't doing anything that The Starting Line and New Found Glory didn't do 8 years ago. That, and they're completely designed for teenaged girls. I guess I don't find them as intolerable as I used to, I just really don't get the big deal about them. I think people should explore music more before deciding that this band they just heard with the catchy single is the best band in the world. Listen to Superdrag, Weezer, Propagandhi, The Hives, or some other band that's ALWAYS amazing. There's a lot more to being a good band than writing catchy singles. Ya know? I don't think that's a stretch to say at all.

Oh, and to the next band that names themselves "We Are...," the word following should be "Poseurs."


Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Obama, resuming depression, and some hope

So I'm wearing my "Not My President" shirt now with George W on it and I'm wearing it to school tomorrow, too. I've been waiting for this day for a while now. However, I wasn't counting on the rest of my life to be so depressing that it's hard to enjoy in the moment. If Obama would have been sworn in on the first week of January, it could have been the best week of my life. This just kind of puts a silver lining in my shitty past few weeks...but it still isn't going to help my personal issues. Oh well, there are less petty issues that it will help. That's important.

So we had an argument in chemistry class today on whether or not this inauguration was historic or not. Why should that ever have to be an argument? It shouldn't, but Logan thinks it should be. His argument was "If the color of your skin isn't important, as they say, then why are we making a big deal out of a black president?" He so doesn't get the point. The big deal is that our country has proven that it isn't as big of a deal as it used to be. 100 years ago, it'd have been impossible for a black man to be the principal at a school. But now we've made a complete turn around and today, a black man was sworn into office. Fuckin' A, America. That's the way to show that we CAN evolve or something. That's encouraging.

On the other hand of my life, nothing works as planned. For anyone. I bring this up every day, but I find it a little difficult to ignore. And to make it worse, my fucking internet connection just let while typing this last little part. I'll be lucky if I ever get to fucking post this. Why don't we limit Kyle's life a little more, God? Have I not the freedom to express myself anymore? No freedom to love easily? You wanna break another one of my guitar strings? That'll make me feel a lot better, I'm sure. Better yet, how about this: the next time I play my drums, you should make one of my cymbals crack. Yeah, then I'd be even happier. In fact, let's make it so that I'm happy when I have to eat McDonald's. Let's make people looking at me the biggest blessing I could recieve. Let's put me in the studio, tell me I can record a song for 7 minutes and cut me off at the end of the intro. Man, isn't it just so funny to watch? I'm glad I'm on the shit-end of this stick, otherwise, I wouldn't know how to stop laughing.

Let's see what you've done to me so far:

-You've taken the girl that lives 5 minutes down the road that I really feel something for and you've thrown her down the road a least another hour and a half's distance. Good start.

-You continue to give my brother hip problems so that my mom has to continuously take him to Pittsburgh and back to have surgery. His life sure wasn't fuckin' difficult enough for him as it was. And it sure makes it a lot easier on the rest of us! You're getting better.

-Every appointment, every plan, every hope you've cancelled on. You cancelled my dentist appointment, you've taken my plans to somehow (through a fuckin' ton of effort) see Katie and you've made it even more impossible to coordinate and schedule and work, and I Forget hasn't fucking recorded in weeks. Huh, that doesn't happen ALL THE FUCKING TIME. You're hitting gold.

-You read my blog and make my life as ironic as possible by doing exactly as I predict will happen (only when it's something negative) or something "humorously" related to it. So I said that you're gonna have to kill a family member to make this week more tolerable. I guess killing that baby goat that the dogs ate is close enough, right? That sure made my mom's life a lot better, too, since she's been trying to be here for its birth and you decide that it'd be funny for it to, not only have that baby while she's gone, but also have the dogs eat it when she's not here to stop them. So funny. Why am I not laughing at all of these hilarious circumstances?

Because it fucking sucks. The title of this blog isn't even accurate anymore. Fuck "resuming depression." This is past recession, past depression, this is getting closer to hell on earth. Thanks for ringing in the new year with these bells that clang with destroyed hopes and dreams. Did I mention that it's still totally funny how the internet hasn't come back yet? If you really want to make an impression, I suggest you don't let it come back until I get to a house where I don't have this saved. Don't you fucking think that won't stop me from posting this as soon as I get the chance, though.

And okay, maybe I still have a whole whole lot of things to be thankful for that the rest of the world doesn't have. Is that the lesson here? That's something you teach first graders. Is the sexless past 16 months of my life not funny enough to watch for you? How about I go live in a shoebox down in the hollow somewhere? Is that where you'll draw the line? Or are you going to keep making the weeks somehow shittier and shittier as they go along? So far, you really haven't failed at doing that. If there is no god, then this is just really shitty. If there is and he's in control of this, then FUCK HIM.

Who knows? Maybe some fucking miracle will happen tomorrow and everything will be beter than it's ever been in life before. Do you want to prove me wrong? Is there something wrong with me saying "After 17 years, I've finally learned that if something goes wrong, it's not the end of the world"? I'm trying to be a good, optimistic sport through all of this.

Okay, well anyway, thanks for the food, the piano, the potential shot for a relationship (which, at this point, would be a little past a 3-pointer), the clothes, and our new president. I appreciate those things. I just want a little emotional empathy. Please?


Monday, January 19, 2009

Tay Fin and depression

Yesterday brought a lot of shock to me all at once. The most inevitably strong example would probably have to be the one saying "Yes, Williamsport really IS an hour and a half away. No, you could not walk there if you had to."

That's tough to live with...but as the Propagandhi lyric goes, Don't try to imagine what's ahead. Let nothing cripple your will. You will cross enormous distance only to arrive with nothing. You will give all you have. If you navigate your way with endurance and success, if you pass the obstacles and still have your life, if you've escaped death, if your guts haven't withered away, if you haven't broken under the strain. That's an excellent song, by the way. So listen to "Cut Into the Earth" if you get the chance. But yeah, as I said last night, "New rule: only you and I can destroy our hopes. Consider everything else an obstacle." Yeah, maybe that song isn't about long distance relationships, but it kind of has a similar message there, maybe. It makes sense to me, so leave me alone.

Another cultural shock was the feeling of being in the middle of an episode of any generic high school town life television show. Carpendale is the closest thing I've come to in walking around a "small town" with lots of houses everywhere. Williamsport has like a Waffle House, a Sheetz, a bunch of stoplights, a cop that lives next door, and you know, the stereotypical features of a small town. I didn't see the old man on the pourch with a gun threatening to kill us if we didn't get off of his lawn, though. That's not a big deal, it was just new to me. Interesting. Glad I don't live in that kind of small town, I guess. At the same time, it'd always be nice to be able to walk to a friend's house. Oh! And the group I was with even was fitting some stereotypes. We were the kids screaming down the streets, fighting in the middle of the road, and ding-dong-ditching. Mature.

If I were any normal person, I'd consider sitting in a bedroom while two girls talked about "girl things" a shock, but I'm used to all of that. All of the names being said meant nothing to me, though. I figure I'll figure out some of the names and associate them with events and faces eventually. Anyway, this brings me to my next subject: "Tay Fin." Or Taylor Finley. Maybe it's Findley. You get the point, though. I'll write on my next post which spelling is correct. Anyway, she wants me to write a blog about her. She'll get the second half of this one (since I have a lot to write about after yesterday).

Umm...Katie (who, if you haven't been reading my blog for a while, is who this whole post so far has been about) had told me that Taylor, her best friend, was umm...easily upset? That's probably not the best way to word it. Let's just say that it's not difficult to offend her by saying one thing in a way that she doesn't understand. I, personally, think that's kind of funny. So meeting her, I wasn't sure what to say when and in response to what. We all walked down to Sheetz (Katie, Taylor, and the 3 or 4 kids Katie was baby-sitting) and Taylor kept staring at me as if I had an unknown wart growing on my face. Maybe that sounds harsh, and I know she's going to be reading this. Anyway, I looked at her and said, "I don't know about you yet...I have to figure you out before I know what I can and can't say around you without pissing you off." She then looked at Katie and said, "Why does he hate me?" See? That's really funny, situationist-style.

Anyway, I think she started catching onto how I'm always an asshole no matter what I say. That being said, she's comfortable enough to sit on a couch next to me and be an asshole back at me. And uhh...she made me wear a scene scarf and the three of us took some bad pictures. So it was somewhat eventful. I'm pretty sure she still thinks I hate her and her reading this isn't going to make her feel any better, I don't think. I think my cat is humping me right now.

I just wrote that last part like 3 hours after writing the first chunk. So my inspiration to write is kind of gone now. Wavelength is gone. I'm back at my dad's, though. That's why I have the cat humping me. Really weird.

I'm thinking about doing some Vlogging one day. You know, it's like this, but I do it in front of a camera. Well, sorta. I guess there's actually a camera right here while I type this, so that's a bad description. Instead of me writing my thoughts, I make a video of them. You probably know that, being of this new generation. My aunt and I talked about blogging and Vlogging and parents starting Facebook accounts to watch their kids and then realizing that they can talk to each other and starting to write in chatspeak. So not only is technology and chatspeak ruining the new generations, but it's ruining the ones before us! Wonderful! So for those of you who write in ideas instead of sentences, I don't like you. Ya fuckin' toolbags! If we don't have school tomorrow, which we may not, this will have been a 6-day weekend.

Oh and so I had to get home before too late last night because of a dentist appointment this morning. So that was kind of shitty, or else I could have stayed longer. Anyway, turns out when we went to Romney this morning and after sitting in the waiting room for 15 minutes, the doctor couldn't come in today to do my fillings. Thanks, assholes, for calling us and letting us know ahead of time. You ruin my life.

I didn't get to read yesterday, so I'm gonna go check up on that. And how about the plane crashing and landing in the Hudson? It wasn't the Hudson, was it? I'm probably way off. Oh well. Regardless, the Canadians are sending out terrorist geese to take down US aircrafts. We're all fucked.


P.S. Did I even cover depression? Let's just say I'm a little depressed.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Youth group leaders, nerds, and other people you don't want to talk to at Walmart

Have you ever met up with someone you haven't seen in 4 or 5 years and at first are like "Oh hey! I haven't seen you in long that I don't know your name at all," and then they start talking and you suddenly are reminded of why you haven't thought of them constantly for the past 5 years?

And the whole time you're in Walmart, so after saying "Hi," and "Bye," the first time, you keep running into them again when you get to the end of each aisle and you feel like someone has to make a witty remark every time you pass each other...

Well, maybe it hasn't happened to you, but that was kind of how my day started. It was this woman who used to be the youth director at church. I could tell the whole time that she was trying to figure out either my mom or my name and still acted like everyone in the world wanted to talk to her daughter.

Ummm...yourdaughter was a snotty brat the whole time I knew her when she lived here...why would I be looking forward to running into her later today? What's even more annoying is that this woman uses her daughter's name in every sentence and never subsitutes a pronoun. God, that's annoying.

It's like...okay, we used to konw each other. That's great...we have nothing to do with each other anymore. Let's keep it that way. I guess it's not that big of a deal. I actually had written all of this in a conversation with Katie a little while ago. I figured that since I'd already said it, I'd just post it here, since it's what I planned on blogging about today. This next part will also be taken from our conversation, but I'm still having this part of the conversation, so I'll be posting it here as I say it. It's kind of like live streaming, but not really, because you aren't going to be able to read this until I'm done typing it all anyway. Too bad for you.

Now my next part is on nerds. Not just nerds, but nerd fathers. The ones who have the nerd sons and the overweight wives that stand behind you in the Walmart checkout line with a big TV in their buggy. The ones that are somehow wearing the same Zelda shirt (but in a different shade of green) that you put on that morning, but instead of sporting it to the world, it's buried under a jacket and a hoodie. Nothing against The Legend of Zelda, though. My shirt's just too big, so I don't show it off. Well, it was ironic in how that actually happened. My mom was standing in front of me in line and she said, seemingly out of nowhere, "Hey, don't you have that shirt?" and I, of course, said, "What shirt?" "The one that guy behind you is wearing." I look. It's the exact same shade of the one my brother got me for my birthday (I guess it's Hot Topic's version of a "new model"). "Ha, yeah, I'm actually wearing that shirt right now, just in a different shade of green." So she laughs...but I feel the need to show a fellow Zelda fan that we're in the same hood. Kind of like a Fight Club thing. So I take off my jacket and my hoodie...awkwardly turn around and say, "Hey, that's a nice shirt you got on." "Heh...thank you," he says in the stereotypical "I'm a nerd, but I'm trying to communicate with the general public" kind of voice. That made me feel really awkward, needless to say. No follow-up, just a thank you. Well, I guess it's better than him asking me in-depth questions about the games or where the last Golden Skultula in Ocarina of Time is or something.

I guess I can't really blame them for growing up differently than I did...but maybe I can. The point is that they never REALLY grew out of it. What I'm trying to say is...there should be a point in every nerd's life that he realizes...well this is just a game. A very fun game, but a game, nonetheless. Maybe I should make myself look better and get a hot girlfriend. Maybe that's just the very cruel-to-nerds road I took in life. The first girl I really liked was a super nerd and now we don't talk at all. But some nerd guys are still dieing over her. I guess it's all perspective. All I know is that she probably still likes me (from like what? 6th? 7th grade?) and she hates me for having sex. Sorry. I got a life, you still watch Yu-Gi-Oh and duel every Friday at the same time. I play Pokemon games when they come out and beat them like games should never be beaten. I almost abuse them. But then when I'm done, the game is over.

You have to draw the line between nerd stuff and life at some point. Or maybe you don't. After all, you're the one in line with a huge fucking TV in your buggy and a son and a wife that is still with you and I'm the one buying a pack of gum with the quarters I found.

I sure can't claim that I'm the one that's got it all figured out, but I can say that I'm dreading my highschool days a lot less than you did. And it's not like I don't try to talk to people like you. You're just always so bitter to everyone expecting for me to always be looking for a way to insult you without it sounding like an insult. If I was really here to insult you, would I be wearing this over-sized Zelda T-shirt? I hardly think so. So to any nerds reading this, I'm here to talk to you about the secret bridge to social life. It's not that hard to find. If you can find the invisible blocks on Mario Bros, you can find this "secret bridge."

That's all I've got for you folks for today. I'm going to bed soon. I've got to go worship god in the morning. Yipee.


Friday, January 16, 2009

As Mad Caddies would say...Just One More...

I just read this review on All Time Low's more recent album and it has to go up, too. Third post of the day!

In the last All Time Low review, a user by the name of blacky646 commented under the negatively-scored panning by Anchors, saying (edited for your viewing pleasure): “I think it’s time you guys let younger people review pop-punk. Leave youth music alone.” So here I am, the “younger people” and it’s only gonna get worse, blacky.

So my good ol' hometown heroes have cooked up another uninspired disc devoid of any authenticity with It’s So Wrong, It’s Right, and frankly, won't get more than a "well, it's catchy" from me.

But to the point: This band is made for teenage girls. I mean, check the totally sweet lead-off track, "This Is How We Do," with its cute gang vocals and edgy-as-fuck lyrics like, "Boys, raise your glasses / Girls, shake those..." Was he going to say “asses”? Wow... these guys ROOL! I'm going to post those on my MySpace right now, matter of fact.

But the fun doesn’t stop there! Oh, no, sir! After countless tracks of the same song, we get to the band’s second single, “Dear Maria,” with more “cute” girl/alcohol references. Around this time of listening, All Time Low successfully removed all the remaining endearing qualities of the genre. Is this really what pop-punk is like now? ‘Cause if it is, you can count me out; I'd rather listen to Tom Delonge sing me a cappella renditions of Good Charlotte songs.

Being from Maryland and a sexy teenager, I constantly had this band shoved down my throat. But now this is my liberation. So to all you Marylanders: I do not like this band.

I feel so much better now.

What is tenth post this week?

I've had a lot to say...and then a lot to correct...and a lot of things to add to what I already had said. I just checked and this is literally my tenth post if you count Sunday as the beginning of the week.

So what's so important that I have to post another one today? Ehh...nothing, really. I'm just kind going for it...nothing better to do.

It's supposed to get down to one degree tonight. We still got nothin' on Chicago, where it's been around -25 probably on average this week. Speaking of Chicago...well, I still have no idea where I want to go after high school and/or college. I'm thinking one of the top ten biggest cities. None in particular, but of those is probably where I'll want to end up. Even if Chicago is so cold that when you put your car key in your mouth (after it'd been in the warm car), it freezes to your tongue Christmas Story-style (as described by Brendan Kelly of Bad Sandwich Chronicles [BSC]), I'd still consider it.

That's not a topic I want to talk about right now...or ever. Instead, I'll tell you the follow-up to the Propagandhi news of yesterday. Well after reading Propagandhi's bulletin on their new album coming out, I messaged them back asking if their record was coming to stores around here (since it's not going to be on Fat Wreck this time). I might have told you that. Anyway, Todd wrote me back saying that it should come to our local record stores or the system has failed us all. He also said that they're playing "near [me]" in March. So that'll add another item to my year's To Do List.

In further "punknews" (as I read things from, Emily Wynne-Hughes from Go Betty Go was on American Idol earlier this week. She auditioned and, as you might have guessed, moved on to the next round. So if you see a girl that looks like this or this, it's probably her...unless she changed her hair again.

And in even further news, Blake Schwarzenbach will be doing a spoken word/reading in Brookyln this Saturday. How I wish I could attend...I'll consider that more reason to move to or towards New York after high school and/or college. Blake was the singer of Jawbreaker and Jets to Brazil incase you didn't know or haven't caught that in my past posts. His new band is called Thorns of Life and I'm very excited to hear what they're like when they release recorded material. I've only seen a few videos on Youtube of them and they sound a lot punker than anything I've heard before. I think the government has gotten to his head and he's gotten angry over the past few years of not playing music. Good.

Oh, let me post this review on an All Time Low album. I think this guy's got it figured out, and I don't think he's being harsh in the least bit.

After spending a the day in Rochester yesterday, seeing the likes of How We Are, Polar Bear Club, Permanent, Pressure, and Invade, the ride back called for something different. Something universally agreeable amongst the four of us taking the three-hour drive back home. Something...special. That something, that something was Dude Ranch .

I think anyone who liked pop-punk during their high school years needs to be reminded of why they loved it in the first place every once in a while. No, we’re not 16 anymore, but the fact remains those songs still hold up, and can still make a three-hour ride seem less than half that. All Time Low, while sharing the basic premise of being a pop-punk band, hold none of that same magic. It’s hard to be a pop-punk band that’s even somewhat memorable, I understand that, but these songs leave so little an impact it’s often hard to remember they’re playing at all.

It’s hard to even articulate, some bands just have those intangibles, and some don’t. It’s apparent right from the get-go that this is a band that fits into the ‘don’t’ side of things. “Coffee Shop Sountrack,” though inadvertently so, is a very fitting name. The boredom of the everyday coffee shop is perfectly reflected in the chords and the vocals these three minutes provide. It took me a while to figure out just who it was that singer Alex Gasgarth reminded me of, but it’s actually Kenny Vasoli of the Starting Line. The noticeable difference being that Vasoli has a little something extra in his delivery, thus letting Starting Line songs build on a much stronger foundation than All Time Low is able to. It’s not that I don’t think they’re trying, because it does sound like an honest effort, but the fact remains that none of the songs have that ability to grab you at first, in the middle, or even at the end.

I can admit, the band does throw some catchy chord progressions together -- look no farther than “Jersey Rae” for that, but their ineptitude when it comes to tying the package together is what really does them in. Either the vocals outshine the instrumentation, or vice versa; it’s rare that both are on cue, and even then, the rope holding everything together is frayed at best. Furthermore, finding off-key vocals or lackluster chord progressions is not half as uncommon as it should be.

They’re able to hide a lot of the inconsistency with simplicity, but only so much can be held back before becoming painfully evident that the substance is lacking.

Amen and good night.


My date

So I went on a date today and it was...kind of shitty. So her name was Lolly. Got grey and darker grey-colored hair and big ears. she asked if she could come to my house. I told her 3:33 p.m. and that's exactly when she showed up. She looks kinda just like this.

Anyway, so she came to my house, I let her in and all she said was how shitty my house was. Umm...if I wanted someone to tell me how shitty things were, I'd have invited Camofrog over.

So anyway, the visit was kind of shitty. But, she sent me a thank you letter in the mail. I replied with "I love you." and she sent a further letter saying how reading my letter was like trying to read a puzzle. I think she's a little bit challenged. Anyway, she's kind of ditzy, I think. I got stung by a bee on the face, she asked if it was contagious and I told her "Maybe," just to be an asshole. She then thought it'd be cool if I left her house because of that. She's fucking retarded. Oh, but then I delivered a present she got for someone to that someone and she thanked me by giving me...the same carpet I already have on my floor...which I know she has seen since she came over and told me how shitty my house was. She said that she'd give it 3/5 stars if she had to. What a bitch.

Oh well, that's Animal Crossing for ya. In other news, someone asked me what a cool new catch-phrase would be (in terms of a greeting) and I told him to say "Fuxup?!" and he does now. Very funny. I told another resident of my town to say "titties," which he does. Also very funny. The point I'm trying to get at here is that Animal Crossing is a fucking fun game.


Thursday, January 15, 2009

Okay, I really should have read this before posting that last one, but oh well...


Hello everybody. Well this Propagandhi thing has gotten a little out of hand when there really is no issue. A lot of people seem to want an explanation, so here it is in detail. I asked Propagandhi to be on the Rock Against Bush comp and they agreed. They also made it clear that they didn't want to be censored and that their political views differ from ours. I said no problem and that I would be stoked to have a different viewpoint on the album (as long as it wasn't pro-Bush). So they send the song which happens to be a song off their last album, but with a different title. The lyrics are about how both political parties in the US are totally fucked and that it doesn't really matter which one wins because there will not be a significant change in the capitalist system anyway. Here they are:

Bullshit politicians. Bloated pin-dick motherfuckers. Bullshit politicians bow and curtsey to the seats of power. We'll never learn and nothing will ever change if we stay this course of followers and slaves. I can_t believe we're still content just reshuffling the same old deck of kings and queens and faux-democracies. I say we hand it back to the bullshit politicians. Free John Hinckley.
Okay, so this is really not the message that I am trying to convey because I believe that Democrats are a bit better than Republicans, and I think that Bush is fucking the world worse than anyone possibly could. But, I still want the song on the comp. So we get the liner notes from the band and at the end it says, "This message was not brought to you by George Soros". This is where the problem starts. George Soros is a Billionaire who got his money from exploiting the foreign currency exchange. He screwed a bunch of countries to make his money. It is also important to note that he is also a member of the Carlyle Group, which is a company that makes money from selling weapons. Okay, that sucks. Meanwhile he has been giving close to 500 million dollars annually to progressive causes and has founded a network of philanthropic organizations in over 50 nations throughout the planet. He is spending a good part of his fortune trying to get Bush out of office. Maybe he feels guilty or something, I don't know. The point is that he has given money not to us, but to many great organizations such as and America Coming Together, and these organizations help support us. I didn't want an anti-Soros message on the first Rock Against Bush comp, because I don't want to make enemies within our movement. I am trying to unite people not alienate them from each other. So I asked Chris from Propagandhi if he wouldn't mind taking that last Soros comment out of their liner notes. He said he wouldn't take anything out. I said okay, then asked if they would mind being on the Rock Against Bush vol. 2 comp instead of the first one, which will be coming out 3 months after the first one.

There were 3 reasons why I wanted them on the second one. First and most importantly, is going to send a mass email to their 3 million members encouraging them to buy the comp. Letting them know that the more CDs we sell the first week, the more of an impact it will make on the music scene. If it's the number one independent record in the country, CNN and other news sources will report it. It will be a powerful message to Americans. MoveOn did this for the "Uncovered" DVD and it sold 40,000 more copies because of them. So I do not want to piss off MoveOn, not to mention that they are doing fucking amazing work. They are leading the online anti-Bush movement. Second reason; The first comp is a little Fat Wreck Chords bands heavy. There are already 8 fat bands on the comp. We had asked the Lawrence Arms to be on the second one too. They said okay. The 3rd reason was that the Propagandhi song wasn't new. It was an old song with a new title. I thought that this might piss a few people off.

So I ask Propagandhi to be on the second comp with all the lyrics intact and with the George Soros comment and everything. NO CENSORSHIP. Chris politely said no thanks. He said that the band has had cold feet about the comp from the beginning, that their politics don't mesh with ours, and that he doesn't want to be shuffled on to the 2nd comp. I was bummed, but I felt that our message of getting Bush out was more important than Propagandhi's anti-Soros message. There are no hard feelings between the band and I. Not only do I think they are the most important band in punk rock, but I feel that they are amazing people, and I am incredibly proud to put out their records.

There it is. The whole explanation. Sorry no drama, but it never was a big deal until it got all over the internet. Thanx for listening.


Fat Mike

Disagree if you must!

Propagandhi ARE punk. I'm not saying that in defense for people that might say that they're not punk, I'm saying that the definition of "punk" is Propagandhi. Propagandhi is the walking soul of punk. Johnny Rotten, go to hell. Propagandhi's where it's at.

So maybe their music isn't "traditional punk," but that, I think, makes it even more punk than "trational punk." Their music isn't traditional at all, they're just fucking incredible all the fucking time. They definitely put most bands with a message (and certainly every band without a message) to shame. And maybe no one knows who Propagandhi is and doesn't care if I say that they put other bands to shame, but hear you me: I care.

I don't know if anyone's heard of the Propagandhi/Fat Mike/Rock Against Bush comp incident. So basically, Fat Mike was saying "Hey! Let's put out a comp against the Bush administration so that we can get it to kids and get them to vote and educate them." Okay, sounds reasonable. So Propagandhi present this song to Fat Mike for the record, as he'd requested. There's a lyric in the song, however, that Fat Mike does not approve of and asks them to change it or he won't release it. Umm...don't we call that...editing ourselves? Since when does a punk band (especially one like Propagandhi) edit themselves? Well, since it hit mainstream radio, but that's why I put the "especially one like Propagandhi" in parenthesis. Bands like Propagandhi don't do that. I have no idea what the lyric was or was about, but go Wiki it, or whatever that new site Alex found that is better than Wiki...use it. Anyway, I don't think it's important, regardless.

So I've never claimed that I wouldn't "sell out" if given the chance. At this point in life, I'm not GOING to claim that because I don't know what it fully entails and the pros and cons of being on a major label or whatever. I CAN speculate that Anti-Flag is not the face that punk should be wearing. In fact, I don't think punk should have a "face." Your mohawk doesn't make you punk. Period. Your message, your music, your actions, your views, and your caring for others makes you punk. Yeah, punk has a lot to do with caring for the well-being of the people at large. That doesn't mean that you're supposed to have Sam Walton's back in his industry (he's dead, anyway). You get what I mean, I'd hope.

So anyway, the reason I'm ranting on about Propagandhi is because they have announced that they have a new album The Supporting Caste that is going to be released on March 10th of this year. I'm fucking stoked. They may have lost a lot of fans when John Samson (another one of my heroes) left the band and they became serious, but those are the poseurs anyway. Sorry to sound so angry and shit, but seriously, come on. Samson wrote some good and fun songs while in Propagandhi, but they were kind of holding each other back...and young and less educated as it was. So John leaving Propagandhi is the best thing that's ever happened to music, I think. The Beatles don't have shit on this, I'm sorry. John forming The Weakerthans and Propagandhi beginning their search for their new sound and style was the best thing. Ever. It's amazing. And it's awesome because I love everything that's happened. I love how John Samson used to play in Propagandhi and, while they were younger, released some fun pop-punk/thrash punk music. I fucking love the hell out of The Weakerthans (John's new band, incase you're from Mars), and Propagandhi since John is fucking incredible in a completely different (and probably more significant) way. It's a win/win/win/win situation (the fourth win being for the listener).

So yeah, just because Fat Mike and Anti-Flag are like the face of punk doesn't mean you have to follow every order they command. I love Fat Mike (he runs an excellent record label and he was fun to watch almost fall over and sign my coaster real sloppy in person) and I'm a sucker for certain Anti-Flag songs, but there are some definite lines that can be drawn. This is why Propagandhi's new album isn't even going to be released on Fat Wreck Chords (I'm assuming, at least). What's more punk than ditching your punk label? Or writing songs about the owner of your former record label (hear: "Rock for Sustainable Capitalism")? Propagandhi are where it's at. Yeah, their lyrics are over my head sometimes, but so are everyone's lyrics. I just don't listen to lyrics. I listen to mostly the drums and in how they fit their surroundings and the context of the song (me being a drummer, of course). But Brittney looked at me like I was crazy for not knowing the lyrics to "Radio" by Alk3. So maybe one day, I'll read all of the lyrics to Propagandhi's new album. They're about things like American imperialism, people getting left to die by a country that promised to take care of them, "fucking fat-ass mohawked-millionaires," and US/Canadian affairs and bullshit. And tons of other things (one song talks about Bono from U2 being a dickweed in some manner, I think).

This brings me to my favorite band to hate on, All Time Low. All Time Low, do you promise to tell only the truth, nothing but the truth, truth truth bullshit blah blah truth yaddayadda something? If you answered yes, then explain this to me. If Propagandhi = punk...then what do you equal? Your MySpace claims that you, too = punk. I think someone here's lieing...and I, for some reason, trust Propagandhi's reasoning more than yours. You're definitely not fucking Propagandhi, you scenester pieces of shit. Eat dirt.

I wrote Propagandhi asking them if we could use a song of theirs on a compilation CD that is against bands like All Time Low/Mayday Parade/Scary Kids Scaring Kids/any other bands that aren't punk, but are on "Punk Goes..." compilations. Todd wrote me backing telling me that no lawsuits would be filed or anything like that and I was free to do what I wanted with any of their songs. Propagandhi, I love you. You made me the vegetarian I still am today. You also make me feel really bad for wearing this leather jacket (the only jacket left in the house) and my Descendents shoes (that have some leather on them) to stay warm. I swear that if I had my other jacket and if Descedents shoes came in not-leather, I'd wear both of those things instead. I'm also wearing some hemp, so I'm trying!

I guess that's all I've got for today. I'm totally going to see D4 when they come back around, though. Woo!


Wednesday, January 14, 2009


The things I was worrying about this morning are no longer of any worry, so I won't even tell you about them because you don't need to know!

Timmy commented me saying that he noticed that Drake Bell has a Randy and an ALL sticker on the box at the bottom of his bed on the show "Drake and Josh." Well I'm sure fucking glad someone else noticed that! Anyone that's ever watched Drake and Josh with me knows I always point that out, and I also point out the Millencolin poster near the door of their bedroom. I think there's a Midtown poster or something, too at the side of his bed on the wall. I don't think many people abroad notice that because most people that watch Drake and Josh don't know who ALL, Randy, and Millencolin are and most people that like ALL, Randy, and Millencolin (especially since Randy and Millencolin are Swedish and this is an American TV show) don't watch Drake and Josh. Now Timmy also went on to say that he doesn't like Drake Bell's music. He obviously has no appreciation for the beauty of pop written by the actual artist. Which brings me to my next topic: Justin Timberlake.

Okay, I don't know a whole lot about J.T. I'm sure Wikipedia could tell me a lot of stuff in a few minutes, but I want to use MY biased views on him to say what I'm going to say. First off, I hate MTV. Justin Timberlake loved his friends over at TRL, but then again, so did blink-182...maybe (because there was the time that both blink-182 and Green Day openly mocked everyone at TRL while on the show). What can I say, though? I've not been put in that position to judge if the people there are nice or not, I just know the show made me sick to watch and I'm glad it ended recently. That has nothing to do with Justin Timberlake as an artist, though. Justin Timberlake, from all that I've been told, writes all of his own music and also music for some other people (I think he might have written "Jizz In My Pants" and "Dick in a Box" for SNL). Now, I don't know if that sounds as weird to you as it does to me (in terms of mainstream pop music) when I say that he writes his own stuff. Maybe you don't realize how many mainstream pop artists don't really write their own music. Does Elton John even write all of his own music? Point being, this is a pretty amazing thing (though in things like punk music, everyone writes their own it should be). So I have a lot of respect for Justin for primarily that reason. Congratulations, Justin Timberlake, you're not as much of a toolbag as you sometimes look.

Let me just throw something out there. Katie's probably at her house in Fort Ashby right now (if not, she's just leaving) and I'm not going to get to see her today. Super bummer, but it happens. We'll have to wish for the best for later. So instead of running down the road as fast as possible to see her, I'm watching a Nickelback interview. I'm glad I'm not a metal head, or they'd piss me off anymore on the account of them being coined as "alternative metal" by Allmusic. This interview isn't grueling, though. Does that make me an awful person? I think they genuinely struggled to get where they are now, I just really think their music is lame and their message is lamer. I talk about them too much. Maybe they're a situation where someone else writing their music would save the radio some bullshit. That's like saving a sewage system shit, though. Wouldn't do any'd just be like putting shit in a bag before flushing it.

I just read that Dillinger Four are coming back around in March...I might have to go see them again. They're going to be touring with The Bouncing Souls and The AKAs (Are Everywhere!), so that would be really awesome. I'm going and I don't care what anyone says. It's official. I said it here first. Gotta go represent Fort Ashby! Plus, I want to meet Paddy, Lane, and Erik again and maybe Billy for the first time. Maybe I'll go to the one in Pittsburgh, Baltimore, AND the one in Virginia. I'll have a car by then, so why not? I just messaged D4 on MySpace asking them if we could get on the bill.

Well that certainly spruced up my year thus far. I think this year will be awesome after all. Once I get my license, I'm gonna go to shows all the fucking time. I would have gone and saw Off With Their Heads a few weeks ago if I had a car at that point. I'm gonna watch out for good bands playing. If anyone finds out about like The Weakerthans, The Hives, or any other amazing bands playing around here this year, let me know.

That's all, I guess.


I'll take the ladder (stairs are for squares)

I havne't been this stressed out in a very long time, but I won't tell you why until I find out if it's okay or not...I'm just really uneasy all of the time. I'm due to puke today anyway, because it's been 370 days (371, technically, with leap year). So maybe that'll happen out of worry. More on this later.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Great barrier reef!

Jets to Brazil are like really good, I'm realizing. I cried watching a slideshow of cats while "Cat Heaven" played and then I cried again last night thinking about the song. Something must be wrong with me. I think I might have found my true second love to punk music and that is whatever you call the music that The Weakerthans and Jets to Brazil play. I'd call it indie, but I don't think it's indie. Indie is something else to me...maybe it's a brand of indie. Whatever it is, it makes me cry. It's probably just "emo," because I'd put Jawbreaker and Bright Eyes in the same category (sometimes). I can deal with original emo, as I've said before. In fact, original emo, also as I've said before, is one of my very favorite kinds of music. If Weezer's Pinkerton, The Weakerthans, Jawbreaker, and Jets to Brazil are "emo," (though I'm pretty sure none of those bands would call themselves emo bands) then I'm in love with emo. I'm simply a record on repeat when saying things like this, but I only fall more and more in love with the genre--the genre which probably doesn't really exist anymore. Being an emo band involves too much perfect hair and wrist-cutting stereotypes and MySpace pages for me to get into any modern ones. That, and their music really isn't as good in any way. The term "emo" came from the lyrics being very emotional, not from cutting wrists and blacking eyes.

Anyway, I'm really done talking about that for now. I'm sure I'll find another amazing "emo" band soon and tell you about how much I love them.

Let me get something in the open...umm...I really really appreciate people like Alex who can manage to be Christians and not bug me about it, listen to what I have to say, and let me know what they have to say in a fashion that doesn't make me want to bomb a small town. See? I even capitalized Christians for him. If you show me respect, I'll capitalize your letters...which brings me to my next subject. God. God, if he exists, must read my blog and really thinks it's funny to make everything I say true in a way that makes me miserable...or something. It's not a big deal, I guess...I actually kind of laugh when things go wrong at this point. Anyway, as I said the other day: whatever I write on here in terms of plans for the future goes completely wrong and backwards. So I kind of tested god by saying "Well, here are my plans for this week. Let's see if you can ruin them. I want to...record vocals tomorrow! (This being said on Sunday.)" So what happened yesterday? Jason got the "flu" again (I'm not sure how often he's actually sick and how often he's high or something) and we did not record shit. However, he quit his job, so things like him not having us record because he was to wake up early the next day (as what happened on Sunday) won't happen anymore. No matter what god/God does to me, I know that everything is going to be okay in the end. I've lived long enough to figure that out on my own. This album is eventually going to be finished, no matter how many detours it takes, and it's going to be fucking amazing. End of the story.

So faith is not something I specialize in, but I definitely have faith in myself and in that I know that everything will be okay as long as I believe, because as long as I believe it, I'll work harder to reach it and won't take "No, fuck you" for an answer. I respect anyone that believes what they truly believe and who respects what I believe at the same time. So thanks, to all of you who apply, for being yourself. Unless, that is, you believe in like burning black people or being a Nazi, then it's kind of an issue.

To get back to my moment of inspiration to get shit done for myself on Sunday, I called the DMV yesterday to find out when they're open and what I need to take with me when I go to take my driver's test. They told me I need another school enrollment form. Now getting that, for me, usually takes about a month for me to pick one up and another two months to turn it in to the office signed. Well, I'll have you know, that I picked up a form first thing this morning at school, filled it out, and turned it in to the office by lunch time. Some big changes a'comin'. New president in a week! How fucking rad is that? I want to not go to school in celebration, but that's not gonna happen. We'll celebrate at my birthday party next weekend.

Hey, I might look and act and be depressed right now, but inside, I'm genuinely very happy. Go ahead and ruin that for me, you sum'bitch christ-y-thing.