Sunday, August 30, 2009
Umm...what? Here's what I'd like to write: One time, I told a guy to pass me the ketchup...and he did. The end.
How do I write a full page on that? How do I start to write a full page on that? Now if you remember last year's English class, I did not ace essays. Ever. Just not my forte. Tim just gave me a great idea. Here's my wing at it:
Communication is an undeniably essential part of every day life. Without communication, there would be mass hysteria--cars crashing into each other due to lack of understanding what other drivers intend to do, kids starving due to parents not understanding their need for food, etc. Not all communication is necessarily vital to maintaining life, but can supply simple relief from everyday boredom and monotony.
To give you an example of casual and effective communication, I will recall my first day of College English class. The teacher looked less than ten years older than me and was wearing a peculiar-looking tie. He looked like "some dude" to me that appeared to have just gotten out of college and was starting his career. However, as the introductions and work died down, the teacher asked me if the band on my shirt was still playing together. "Yeah, they actually just finished recording a new seven-inch," I said. Multiple forms of effective communication can be found in this story. First, the t-shirt I wore allowed the teacher to know that I know who The Lawrence Arms are. Second, I effectively answered his question, though it was not at all difficult to get my message across. The conversation continued on and covered our mutual liking for bands signed to Asian Man Records, but more importantly the conversation gave me, the student, and Mr. Presnell, the teacher, some common interests to build on for the rest of the semester.
As the story shows, effective communication can lead to potential relationships between people. Perhaps the teacher knows of a lot of bands that I like but I would not have ever known of the possibility of that had we not effectively communicated on that first day.
Man, it kills the fuck out of me not to curse and to break up "I'll" and "wouldn't." I put this here so I can go get on my mom's computer, copy it to Word, and print it. See, I'm on my brother's computer because my dad still has mine and my brother's don't got Word! WHAT?! Yeah. Fuckin' sucks. Anyway, there was my more-or-less improvised essay for all you blog-readers. Now go suck a nigga dick, son. Oh, and isn't it weird how much Brendan Kelly affects my life? He's way more qualified to be "God" in my life than any organized religion's god.
Friday, August 28, 2009
My ankle is still killing me. The pain is spreading throughout my heel. That's just wonderful, seeing as how I've finally grown to enjoy running. I really want to be capable of running in Clear Spring next Saturday and for Katie to come 10 miles down the road to watch. That'd be cool, I think. God knows, eh?
Oh, and yes, I did in fact attend a blink-182/Weezer concert last night in Camden, NJ, which is just outside of Philadelphia. Whole bunch of people. Whole lot of money spent getting there and back. Whole lot of money spent on tickets. I'd say the whole trip was probably close to $350. T-shirts were $30 a piece. I, obviously, did not buy one. With all that money I spent, I should have been given a t-shirt. Anyway, here's how the show went: we missed Chester Fench and Taking Back Sunday. Boohoo, we didn't care. We got there just before Weezer went on, though. They came out playing a Black Sabbath song; Pat Wilson on guitar, Josh Freese playing the drums, Rivers Cuomo just singing. Rivers kept saying, "Yessiree, Bob." Then they played some other songs. "Island in the Sun" was particularly cool because it started with Rivers looping drums, tambourine, bass, and acoustic guitar and then singing the first two verses and prechoruses by himself before the entire band came in on the chorus. Very awesome. Here's the set list in the best order I can remember it in.
- Warpigs [Black Sabbath]
- Perfect Situation
- Undone - The Sweater Song
- Pork and Beans
- Surfwax America
- My Name is Jonas
- Island in the Sun
- Beverly Hills
- Buddy Holly
- The Good Life
- (If You're Wondering If I Want You To) I Want You To
- Say It Aint So
- Should I Stay or Should I Go? [The Clash]
- Feeling This
- Rock Show
- I Miss You
- What's My Age Again?
- First Date
- Man Overboard
- Stockholm Syndrome
- Going Away to College
- All the Small Things
- Not Now
- Adam's Song
- Anthem, Pt. 2
- drum solo for beginning of encore
Oh, and I don't know if it's official yet, but...ehh, fuck it. I shouldn't go sayin' shit like that without consent of people.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Now onto bigger and better things! I came across, what we would call, a "poseur" today. And hey, fuck spell-check for telling me I spell "catalogue" incorrectly. That's how I spell it. Anyway, I go into FYE because my dad was taking Zane to the mall to get new shoes. I wanted to see if, by chance, they decided to start stocking American Steel, Bracket, Cobra Skulls, or anything else worth buying. Well, I was let down, of course. However, while hunting for American Steel, I saw a kid picking up the new Against Me! album, The Original Cowboy. "That's a really good one," I said to him, "I've heard it a few times." "Yeah, I like them. I actually going to go see them this summer, but I went to the Warped Tour instead." "Oh yeah?" I said curiously, "Who were they supposed to be touring with?" "Rise Against, I think. Yeah, I'm pretty sure it was Rise Against." I walked away, because I knew he was lying to me. He also thought I'd buy it because I was just a kid wearing a red t-shirt saying something about a 5K race, black cotton sweat shorts (Against Me!-esque pun intended), and my Nike running shoes. WRONG. I know better. First off, I know that Against Me! and Rise Against haven't toured since I've been following either of their music, to my knowledge. Secondly, I know that Rise Against was not touring with Against Me! but rather Billy Talent and Rancid this summer, seeing as I saw them personally. Thirdly, I know that Against Me! wasn't even touring this summer. This kid was also obviously lost because he was debating on whether to get the new Against Me! album, As I Lay Dying, or some other metalcore album. ...Excuse me, what? Not even worth talking to. Next.
Messaged Katie on AIM today. "Are you there?" "No." "Fair enough."
Man, I have just been leaving out one little detail about the present. TOMORROW IS THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL! Fuuuuuck, man. However, for me, it is my last first day of school. Does that make it any more tolerable? Probably not. But! we'll take what comes and stick it out to June or late May. I haven't even thought about what to wear! Oh no! What are the people I've known my entire life going to think of me?! Guess I'm just gonna ruin first impressions, eh? Oh, and if all works out, I'm seeing blink-182 and Weezer on Thursday. I will be very, very upset if I don't, seeing as I've wanted to see both bands for quite some time now and tickets were $70 to see them. We just gotta find a way to get to Camden, New Jersey. Grrrrrr.
I'd like to say I have more for you tonight, but I don't! Oh, I did hurt my ankle again today at cross country. I hope it gets better and I don't end up being out for the season. Tomorrow, if you're lucky, I'll tell you all about my last first day of high school. I gotta start going to bed earlier now...
Sunday, August 23, 2009
I really want a job and a credit card because right now I need drum heads and CDs and no one sells the ones I want except for sites online. American Steel and Cobra Skulls please! And I can never remember what the kind of drumhead I want is called. I just looked it up for reference. It's called an
Evans ST Dry Coated Snare Drumhead.
Don't forget that, either. That's obviously very important. See, I need that for when we record again because my snare head is like dead and spray painted and stupid.
Who's excited about school on Wednesday? Anyone? I'm particularly not thrilled about long days of school directly followed by running for an hour and a half. At least I won't have to ride the bus this year, eh? Always look for positives. And I watched all of the Lord of the Rings movies this week now! Just finished the third one a few hours ago. As I said when I saw it for the first time years ago, the end is dragged out far too long. It probably could have ended 30 minutes before it does. I think they should have an extended version with all of that conclusion bullshit so it's optional. Once the ring is destroyed, who gives a shit, right? And I forgot to look and see if Frodo was still missing a finger in the end...
What should I watch now?
Saturday, August 22, 2009
So anyway, I don't really appreciate being treated like a little bitch and being strung around, which I said to her the other night since I hadn't heard from her and just wished she'd return a text now and then...and since this happened, it gave me incentive to say "Tell Ginger I appreciate her calling and being a bitch for you and I wish you'd have done it yourself about a week ago."
Damn! Okay, I feel better now. Kind of a disappointment...I was looking forward to all of that and I'd kinda put a ton of effort into making that work, but I guess it was a dud. Next!
"What is emo? For starters it's a form of melodic, confessional, or EMOtional punk rock. But emo is more than a genre of music–it's the defining counterculture movement of the '00s. EVERYBODY HURTS is a reference book for emo, tracing its angsty roots all the way from Shakespeare to Holden Caufield to today's most popular bands.
There's nothing new about that perfect chocolate and peanut butter combination––teenagers and angst. What is new is that emo is the first cultural movement born on the internet. With the development of early social networking sites like Make Out Club (whose mission is to unite "like–minded nerds, loners, indie rockers, record collectors, video gamers, hardcore kids, and artists through friendship, music, and sometimes even love") outcast teens had a place to find each other and share their pain, their opinions, and above all, their music–which wasn't available for sale at the local record store.
Authors Leslie Simon and Trevor Kelley lead the reader through the world of emo including its ideology, music, and fashion, as well as its influences on film, television, and literature. With a healthy dose of snark and sarcasm, EVERYBODY HURTS uses diagrams, illustrations, timelines, and step–by–step instructions to help the reader successfully achieve the ultimate emo lifestyle. Or, alternately, teach him to spot an emo kid across the mall in order to mock him mercilessly."
I injured my foot recently. See, I hurt it on Thursday running in Vans for cross country practice and then yesterday, we ran 5 miles and it hurt the entire time and when I quit running, I had a limp. So we were supposed to run all the way around Rocky Gap State Park this morning, which is somewhere between 6 and 8 miles I've heard, but I can barely walk, much less run. That sucks, because I wanted to run. Also, we have a thing on Monday that kind of determines where you fall varsity vs. JV. Oh well, I won't be here to race on Thursday anyway, so I guess it doesn't matter this week. I've got blink-182 and Weezer to see instead! Let's hope that that all works out.
I seriously have not heard from Katie like all week. And I don't think it's one of those "Let's not talk to Kyle" things, because she hasn't even been online on MySpace for a few days. Makes me worry a little since she was sick earlier this week and I haven't heard from her and she lives an hour and a half away and I have no way of checking in on her well-being. Hmm. But what can you do? I choose to go on with my life and figure out what's going on when the information gets to me.
So in doing that, I went to Nick's party last night. Total sausage fest. He said there'd be girls. There weren't. He said there'd be a band. There wasn't (our bad). He said uhh...I guess that's all he really said about it other than there was a pool and there was one of those. Poor Nick. Only a couple of guys show up. Oh well, we had fun nonetheless. We swam in the poo', ate Doritos, talked about Nick's sister and mom, called bitches, watched last year's talents how DVD, talked about radical religious people, and Brittney showed up and we played all of our new songs for the people that were still there. Overall: a good, fun night.
I have a drum set at my house now. It sits about a foot from my bed. It's comforting. It's almost like having a desirable woman in your bedroom at all times. You always want to bang her. Even at the most god-forsaken hours of the night. It's Brittney's drum set, but it's got enough on it to keep me happy and satisfied until I get my own drum set back from the studio. However, we need to finish the album first. I also need a new snare head for it. Lots of shit to do and no time to do it! I promise you that this album will be worth the wait. And worth its weight...in gold.
So this week has ended up being pretty good. I wasn't so sure if I wanted to be alive or not towards the beginning of it. School starts in less than a week, so I probably won't want to be alive come Wednesday. In fact, I'll essentially be dead to the world when I have to wake up at 7 AM or so and drive to school. Lordy, lord.
JIM LEFT PENNYWISE?! Okay, week just went sour again.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
I watched this movie called Firewall that has Harrison Ford in it because I've been on this Harrison Ford movie kick. I'd never heard of the movie. I was actually looking for Blade Runner in the movie store, but I saw this movie first, so I took it up and rented it. When I got home, I looked up some reviews on it and a site called Rotten Tomatoes gave it a 19% saying that the plot twists are improbable and Harrison Ford's role did him no justice or something like that. So I kind of set my standards a little lower when watching the movie. To be completely honest with everyone, myself included, I thought it was one of the most intense movies I've seen in a while. Definitely kept me at the edge of my seat, but not in an action-packed way. What happens is that Harrison Ford's character works at this bank and designed the software that keeps everyone's account codes safe and all that jazz. Well this bad guy man has done all of this research on Ford's character and has his people hold his family and him hostage. Ford then has to "break in" to the bank for the bad guy. Pretty intense when the family tries to sneak out or when the little boy almost dies or when Ford tries to trick the people and just everything. There's a lot of psychological shit in there. I thought it was a good movie and the end of it had me real tense and the dog though I was going to have a heart attack.
So punknews.org has told me that Weezer's new album is to be called Raditude. No one on that site likes Weezer. They call all blow me one by one. I kind of hate the punk scene at times. There really is not that respect they say they have. I mean, Weezer never claimed to be punk, so why is everyone so quick to say that they hate geek rock? Who gives a shit if you hate geek rock? What the fuck does that even mean? If Rivers Cuomo didn't wear those glasses, would they be in the same genre? Fuckin' dicks. Also, as Brendan announced two days ago, The Lawrence Arms' new 7" will be called Buttsweat and Tears. It took punknews.org until just today to announce that. Come on, we need a better news team than this! If we didn't find out that the Twin Towers went down until September 13...it just wouldn't have had the same impact...pun intended. I do, as I may have said before, find it to be very funny that punknews.org takes whatever Brendan Kelly posts in his blog as legitimate news. You have to search through his stories of butt-fucking and toilets at venues with shit piled past the seat to find the "news."
Okay, so you want me to add to the ridiculous album names? I Forget's new album is going to be called Everyone Sharts. Like when you fart and shit comes out? You should know what it means. Why are we calling it that? Well because album title idea 1 did not work out because the picture did not work out. So maybe Is Your Mom Still Around? will be released later. Guess we'll have to see whether or not we care.
Cross country has been a pain in my ass almost literally. My ass doesn't hurt compared to my legs and calves, though. I guess it could be worse. I can actually walk, but when I'm actually running, it's just hell. We ran a plain terrible course today. I probably ran at least 5 or 6 miles. They don't pay me enough...and one of the reasons I started getting pissed yesterday was that I came to realize that I can't go to Hagerstown to see Katie this week because cross country rehearsal is at 3:30 PM starting tomorrow and that goes on until the season is over. That really bummed me out and made me irritated. Life in that department seems to get progressively more difficult...and what do you do about it?
Here's a list of the movies I've watched in the past week:
-Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace
-Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones
-Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
-Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope
-Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
-Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi
I believe that's it...and Harrison Ford is in 6 of those 10 listed. I've been meaning to start watching the Lord of the Rings series this week, but I haven't gotten around to it yet. Perhaps I'll start tonight. Depends on my mood. You need a solid 3 hours of nothing planned to do each of those. Party at Nick's house this Friday!
Monday, August 17, 2009
I also downloaded a bunch of Anti-Flag last night! I downloaded the rest of The Terror State, which I didn't feel bad about because we owned that album before my sister gave it away. I still have the case to it and everything...minus the booklet thing. I wish we had that because Anti-Flag always have some very interesting and moving words of wisdom. Makes me cry like a little bitch baby sometimes. Speaking of which, I'd like to go see Katie this week and maybe take her to see The Time Traveler's Wife. Tim said the guy dies in the end, but shhh, don't tell her. I'm hoping maybe once she sees that being away for long periods of time makes for sadness that she'll want to maybe not be in the Navy as much. But who knows? I guess it's a little selfish to assume that I alone am enough to keep her completely satisfied in life, though I wish I could do that...
Anyway, I've started recycling at my mom's house because it just needed to happen. Now that I've been drinking multiple bottles of water a day, I figured they'd be much better spent being recycled than thrown into a trash dump to be water bottles in trash cans until bacteria learns how to digest plastic. I had this thought earlier, and maybe it's completely ridiculous, but I think it'd be awesome if we used recycled plastic to make giant land platforms to put in the arctic so that if all of the ice melts for the polar bears, they have at least something to stand on. I don't know, maybe that's ridiculous, but I thought it was a worth while idea...
I wish I was going to see Off With Their Heads tomorrow, but by the time I realized I wouldn't be going to my dad's on that day, it was...like less than a week ago. So I didn't even bother asking and my aunt could use the money we'd spend going out there. Tickets are only $8, though. I really want to see them one day, too. Maybe when they go on tour with D4 or Against Me! again, eh? And Alkaline Trio, The Lawrence Arms, and American Steel need to tour together again. I hate myself for missing that shit. That's like the best idea for a tour I've ever heard.
The more I write blogs, the more I realize that I must not analyze people and situations much...I seem to just report what happened in my day more than anything else. I guess that means I'm not a descriptive writer. And I'm also a bad secretary since people keep calling for my mother, telling me to tell her things, and as soon as I hang up, I completely forget what I was told. That's one career path I'll not go down, I've decide. So that helps. No descriptive writing jobs, no secretary jobs. Got it.
Saturday, August 15, 2009
"i saw matt skiba walking down hollywood blvd... and he bent over to tie his shoe, and the ass of his pants ripped right in half... you could see his butt cheeks and stuff.... he has the hairiest ass in this universe.... keep rocking king kong... their next album should be called... i need to shave my ass!!"
I almost wish we hadn't titled our new album already because that has to be the greatest album title of all time. I'm probably the only person on this earth that thinks that...but the fucking delivery of that comment...I don't even know what their point was. It was fucking hilarious, though. Anyway, since it was on a review of an album (even though that comment had nothing to do with reviewing music), I'll speak my piece on reviewing music and all of that.
Okay, well here's the thing, I think: you cannot rate an album based on a band's prior catalog. I mean, you can, obviously, but really? Say a man is a visual artist. He draws beautiful pictures of birds. Always birds. Perfect pictures of birds. One day he draws a picture of a cat. Now, is that picture any better or worse because it's not a picture of a bird? Fucking NO! It's just not! It is what it goddamn is! New Wave isn't an anarcho punk album. What the fuck are you going to do about it? Kill Tom Gabel? As Brendan Kelly put it when explaining how a new song he wrote ended up with some ska in it (he's not a fan of ska very much, like myself), "Have you ever apologized for a turd?" It is what it goddamn is! I Forget's new album has no ska. Gonna come tear my penis off? Davey Havok writes very melodic vocal parts now, Dillinger Four's recordings are clearer, Propagandhi aren't a pop punk band anymore, Alkaline Trio's music evolved. Are you going to just, for lack of a cheesier way to put it, bomb the music industry? You'll save yourself a lot of grief if you don't hold bands to standards and just take it as it is. Serj from System of a Down was talking years ago how when writing their last albums that he wasn't going to try to outdo Toxicity because there's no point in it. As Brendan Kelly put that, "[Listening to your own records for inspiration is] like eating your poo to get nutrients."
Anyway, yeah, that's why you shouldn't base whether an album stands alone at being good or bad based on previous works. I also wish everyone, myself included, would not like or dislike a band for what genre they're in or whatever. Let me try to explain myself...I don't have any examples, really. But like...like or dislike a band's music for what is there, what it sounds like, what you think of it. Don't like or dislike it because that band belongs to a certain group of other bands that you either like or dislike. Like I hate Mayday Parade because they fit in with All Time Low, BoysLikeGirls, Hit the Lights, yadda yadda yadda. But have I ever actually listened to Mayday Parade? No. The reason for that, however, is because I don't give a shit about scenester bands with cute hair and neon shirts and that's the end of that discussion. But seriously, does that make me right? No. Do I care? No. I have enough good music that I like all sides of that I don't have to worry about making compromises like "Ehh, the music's okay, but they look like they want to get laid." I'm making my points very poorly tonight...
I slept for hours last night! Two, in fact! When I woke up, I went on down to the Canal Place in Cumberland and started running for an hour straight. Nick, Brad, Johnny, and I ran through Martin's. That's a somewhat unique thing to be able to claim, I feel. Anyway, long story short, the cross country team broke off and ran about Cumberland for an hour. Coach Moreland said we probably ran at least 6 miles each. That's kind of awesome. I uhh...after like 45 minutes, everything quit hurting and I quit breathing hard. I wasn't sure if I'd died and left my physical body a few streets back. Runner's high, I guess? It was an awesome feeling. Willie said I'm one of those people.
And today I finished watching all of the Star Wars movies...ending somewhere in the middle of Episode V. See, I caught Episode V on TV the other day but it'd already started, I finished it, watched VI, then I, II, III, IV, and V up to the point I'd seen. So it was a rather strange order to go about it, but hey, got the job done. And you know what I learned from it all? Three things. 1. Being a Jedi Night would be fucking badass. 2. Having a baby might just destroy the balance of the whole universe and cause mass death to planets and nations. And 3. If someone's giving you shit, just cut their arm off!
Okay, so I want a written I Forget interview done and a video interview and for someone to professionally take our picture. I think that's gonna happen. But I'm still putting that on the table. I love you all.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
It wouldn't let me put an embedded link on here. It's pretty fucking hilarious, though. Andy Samberg is in it. If that's not entertainment, then I don't know what is. Speaking of which, I watched the movie Funny People today. Once again, Adam Sandler is in a movie that makes me want to not get old and to live every day to its fullest and to not fuck shit up with things you love. My biggest fear is fucking shit up, truly. As I say, I'm not the most secure person I know and I worry about things going wrong quite often...Timmy was right when he said Eminem was the best part of the movie, though. Pretty fuckin' great part he had. He just played Marshall Mathers, but who gives a fuck? Marshall Mathers is a fuckin' nut case as it is, so it didn't matter. He's a very funny and offensive person all the time. Did you know that he is the best-selling musical act of the decade? You know, he might not be the face of my favorite genre, but I'm glad he's keeping his genre out of the complete shitter. Gotta love me some Eminem.
Now this brings me to something I have to hate and that is breaking guitar strings. Do you know how much I hate breaking guitar strings? I'd rather tear a chunk of my hair out sometimes. Well what's worse than me breaking a guitar string is little kids breaking a guitar string because they think it's fun to come to my house when I'm asleep and play with the machine heads and put my guitar in a ridiculous tuning. Yeah, real funny. Even funnier when a string breaks when trying to put it back to the way it's supposed to be. I should go over to their house (my little cousins', that is) and stomp on their toys and take them apart and ruin their shit. Fuckin' communists.
I want some food. I want some easy-to-make food, but I ate all of the Poptarts. I don't want to warm up vegetarian vegetable soup or Spaghetti-O's again. I'm not in the mood for that. What I'd really like would be a Klondike bar or a granola bar. You know, something you could grab on your way out of the house to eat within 3 minutes that just keeps you happy. That's the kind of food I like the most, I believe. A banana. That'd be fine, too. And I love cereal, but I've had probably 3 or 4 bowls of that already today. So what is one to do? I'm gonna make Morningstar sausage is what I'm going to do right now. mmm-MMM that's good.
Now that that's out of the way, I've learned that I got 45 grams of protein from sausage alone today. That's not bad at all. And all without eating animals! See, it's not so hard, folks. Just eat your Morningstar and Boca food and you're set. It doesn't leave you with that feeling of total shit when you're done eating it, either.
Does anyone want to take bets on whether or not I get up after turning the alarm off in the morning? It's like a 50/50 thing. I'm going to try to shut down the computer and turn off the lights and attempt to sleep by 1:30 this morning instead of 4 like most nights. Buuut Tim just got back from a movie, so that's probably not gonna happen now. So back to nights of 3 or 4 hours of sleep. Wonderful. I'd say that tomorrow is the last day of cross country running in the morning this week but it's not! We're doing it on Saturday morning, too! Around the whole lake, which I do believe to be 5 miles. Once again, I'd rather be training to be a Jedi Night than just a school sport. So much more badass.
I need a job here soon. I'm thinking Walmart, Lowes, Jerry's, Denny's. Something like that. I'd only do Walmart because my sister works there and it'd be convenient and all. I'm getting side-tracked by talking to people, so I'll leave you with this: stay in school. Don't do drugs. Pot is illegal. Oh, and I wish this was our cross country motto this year: We're high because we run on grass.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
So anyway, back to the running thing. Waking up is hell at 7 AM. Driving is hell at 7:15 AM. Running is very much hell at 7:30 AM. Breathing is heaven at 9 PM. Showering is heaven at 9:15 AM. Going back to bed is very much heaven at 9:30 AM. I wish I'd cherish this time that I could be spending sleeping right now by doing just that, but my mind wanders too much at night. Did I live the day to a standard worth living? Did I forget anything important? Is Katie going to be in a better mood to talk to tomorrow? When will I see her again? When are we recording again? Where the hell is Timmy? I love Alkaline Trio. I wish I was Matt Skiba. Wouldn't that be awesome if I was? Do you think Matt Skiba had girl problems as a teenager?
I can go on forever and that's kind of my problem is that I do inside my head. All I should be thinking is: today went the way it did and you can't change it. Live tomorrow to its fullest. Hope that Katie will come around soon. Hope she will decide against the Navy. Hope that she'll move back here. Hope that the future will be amazing. Know that your new album will be amazing. Get some fucking sleep because in the morning, it's going to be hell.
I always get too cocky. Look here, getting a girlfriend doesn't necessarily solve your girl problems. I always told myself and my friends often tell themselves, "If you get a girlfriend, all of your problems will be solved." Well I got one. I got the one girl in the world that I wanted more than any other. Mine. Exclusively. But, look, all of my problems aren't magically gone. She's still having troubles in her life, I am in mine, she still lives an hour and a half away, she's now enlisting in the Navy, she's got tons of problems at home, she doesn't know how to act around me or anyone else at this point, I don't know when I can go visit her. That's a lot of problems. See, before she was my girlfriend, a lot of those things weren't really any of my concern. I guess they still don't have to be, but point is that she's my girlfriend and it'd probably be good for us to talk and see each other because that's truthfully how it's supposed to work. I goddamn wish she still lived 5 minutes down the road and I saw her every night at either my house or hers or in town. I goddamn wish she still road the same school bus to school with me and sat with me every morning and afternoon. But that is a little unrealistic anymore...especially considering she graduated and doesn't ride buses anywhere anymore. Learn, adjust, move on, repeat. That's all life is, as I see it. You can't get caught up in how great the good ol' days were, though it's easy to do.
I don't really know what my point to any readers is other than take my word for it when I say that being in a relationship with someone doesn't mean your problems are solved. Can it mean that? Sure, I suppose. If your problems are that you have no one to be with and love and be with exclusively, then yes, a relationship can probably solve all of those things. Long distance sucks, though, man. And not like this whole "Oh I won't see her for a long time and she's so far away. How will I resist all of these temptations?" because no, that's bullshit. I'm not dating Katie because I lacked that figure in my life, I am because I care very much about her and want to be with her. Let me make that clear. With her not just somebody. But long distance sucks because I cannot see her very often. Man, fuck all you cheaters. That's just kind of pathetic if you can't wait so long to see your partner that you have to break trust and be dishonest with them. Fucking ridiculous. Bleh. I'm preaching a lot, aren't I?
So anyway, I don't know what Katie's going through right now, but I'm pretty sure it's nothing against me personally, so I'm not going to fucking flip my shit over it. Shit happens. A lot. If, however, she is hiding something she's got against me personally, then fine. Fuck it. I'll deal with it. If that means we're over, though I'd really hope not, then I'll live. Shit. fucking. happens. Once again, not sure what my point is here, but I'mma deal and I'mma be just alright. I'll get upset and bent out of shape if and only if she shows me there is a problem between us. I just get so frustrated when people come to me with relationship problems saying, "He didn't smile, wink, and wave to me today in the hallway and was only online for 20 minutes today. Do you think he's cheating on me?" No, based on that, I don't. But what if he is? Why don't you fucking ask him instead of worrying about it based on petty little bullshit things? And I know, everyone reading this is thinking Kyle comes to me and tells me about petty little bullshit things all of the time. Yeah, so I do. But I don't usually associate them with, "Is she going to dump me?!" I'll admit that I just need someone to talk to and express what's on my mind and what I've observed. Don't know where I'm going with this, I just wish people would take a chill pill every once in a while.
I hope this whole post read in one continuous stream is a lot less monotonous as I feel it's coming from my fingers. I feel like I'm simply bitching in circles, but hey, maybe I am. I'll just sit here and think of nothing 'cause nothing keeps me sane.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
I have been sitting here for hours trying to come up with material. How about this...umm...what's everyone's views on...evolution? I watched Idiocracy last night and it was more on de-evolution where intelligence failed because intelligent people don't have kids or at least not 8 kids. Okay, for those of you who haven't seen it, which I've found out is a lot of you, Luke Wilson (the actor) is picked for this top secret government project to be used in an artificial hibernation thing or whatever you want to call it and they were going to put him and this prostitute they got in these cases for a year and let them out and see if they were preserved. Well Luke Wilson was picked because he was very average in like everything and had no immediate family or anything. Thing was, the project was shut down before it was carried out and because it was top secret, the people that came in and destroyed the building didn't know about the project, so they remained in their cases for 500 years and a Fuddruckers was built ontop of the place. Well as the years progressed and people got stupider, the language lessened and Fuddruckers ultimately became Buttfuckers, which I thought was very funny. Very funny movie. Anyway, Luke Wilson ends up being the smartest person on earth because everyone has grown so stupid. Excellent point done in a very humorous way. They quit drinking water and it was replaced by a product called Brandow which is like an energy drink or Gatorade because the company bought out like everything. Also very funny and satirical. Good movie.
I'd like to hope that doesn't really happen, but look at how we're trashing the language and education as it is. I saw a commercial for the Jay Leno Show today where he is with a girl on the street and points to an American flag and says "How many stars are on that flag?" and she says "I can't count them. It's moving too fast." I mean, haha, funny, she's an idiot. At the same time, not funny. She's a full-grown woman and doesn't realize that there is a star for each of the 50 United States on the fucking flag. Every 2nd grader in America is supposed to know that. If this is the face of America, if this is the future of English, if brokeNCYDE is the future of music, then I'm out, man. It's something you can laugh at now, but in 5 years, this shit will become the norm and you'll be finding chatspeak in first college essays, then textbooks, then dictionaries, and then legal documents. Who's to say? It's far too tolerated. Same goes with the music. It's funny a little bit at first, but when bands like brokeNCYDE start popping up everywhere and start selling music and reaching Billboard Top 200, it's not as funny anymore.
On a brighter note, I'm following everyone in Alkaline Trio on Twitter where they post pictures and news about their new album now and then. Totally stoked for this. I've never been this prematurely stoked for an album. I usually at least know the album name first, but then again, I dunno. I'm stoked, though. Genuinely stoked. I've been watching Youtube videos of new songs they've been demoing to crowds on their most recent tour. At least bands like Alkaline Trio still exist who can write good songs. And even we in I Forget are trying our best to write good material and not conform with modern pop punk or crunk or any of that shit. Oh, and Alkaline Trio is the only reason I keep a Twitter at this point.
Who is spreading the word about I Forget on Facebook? We keep getting more "fans" and I'm not doing shit. I added people like once. I don't know most of the people on there. We're up to 126 which isn't bad considering...like I just said, I haven't been doing shit. That and there's really nothing to see there on our Facebook page. I'm hoping to get our music put up there, but I'm too lazy to do the verification thing. I can't wait until we start touring and once we get our new album finished. I wanna send demos to some clubs in Baltimore and maybe Pittsburgh where we can get a few hundred people to come see us each night. That'd be sweet. It'd be even cooler if we ended up opening for a band we love. I don't know how all of that works.
Okay, that kind of concludes all of this. I watched Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back today and I wish there was a place people could train to be Jedi Masters. I wish I could wear a Yoda on my back while at cross country.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
So on Friday night, I got to talk to Katie and hear that she had a reason for signing up for the Navy in that she's unhappy living the life she's living now. Hearing a straightforward and honest answer and hearing that she'd still like me to be a part of her life made my week a lot more enjoyable. I was stressed out pretty bad over that whole thing...so we'll take it from here.
Then I stayed up 'till 2 AM and had to wake up at 6:30 AM! That was just great. I have to get up at 6:30 tomorrow morning, too. Fuckin' cross country. Well on Saturday I ran my first 5K race thing. I got like 24:18. I was 48th of 117 people. I guess I'm mediocre for now. However, this is the first time I've ever played a "sport" in my life, so give me a break. I'm generally a very lazy person.
Later on Saturday, after sleeping for hours, I went to Caleb's birthday party. There we uhh...well, I played a lot of guitar and sang a lot and realized I've yet to get my highest vocal chords back. And we sat around a fire and Caleb and Jim burned their feet and Tim and I laughed at their expense. It was an overall good time at least for me. Only complaint is that my leg muscles still are sore, but at least I don't have second degree burns on my feet.
Then I slept, dreamt, ate breakfast, went home, slept, and watched Gran Torino. Man, that's a fucking epic movie. Clint Eastwood will be badass until the day he dies. Guess that's all I have to say there.
And I guess that's basically all there is to know about me right now. Yep. Don't have the slightest fucking clue what I'm doing this week.
Friday, August 7, 2009
So here's my bad follow-up. I guess it's like gonna be the Green Album to Pinkerton in comparison. Well, maybe not. This is kind of awesome. So Alkaline Trio are recording with Matt Allison again. That's the guy that did their first couple of records and also records with The Lawrence Arms and shit. Producer from Chicago. Very cool. No, fucking amazingly cool. Do you know how good the records he puts out always are? They're fucking amazing. Goddamnit? Oh! Calcutta!? Maybe I'll Catch Fire? This Sinking Ship (I think)? Come on. Their new album is just gonna haul some major ass and that's all there is to it. It'll make Agony & Irony look like the Green Album and this will be up there with Pinkerton, I'm almost positive. Maybe that's not as exciting to everyone as it is to me. What if I said Matt Skiba's going to do a solo album with Asian Man Records? Would that excite you? Well consider that I just said it, because I just did.
Hey Blair, FUCK YOU for telling me Alkaline Trio is lame and un-legit. You can pick on me for some things but Alk3 is like...making fun of a crippled. You just don't do that without looking like an asshole. Come on!
In further news, I've been running cross country for a week now and BOY...it's alright. I think it'll be enjoyable. No band. I'm home now. No 50-pound drums are on my shoulders. I'm laying down instead of standing straight up with my feet and heels together in the middle of a field with the sun beating down onto me in my shirt and shorts giving me a fucking retarded farmer's tan. Nope, I'm laying in my bed typing right here. And here in a minute, I'm gonna go grocery shopping. Tim will be here at some point to finish his work here. My mom paid him $100 yesterday. Good workin' kid he is. Everyone's just getting more physically active, it seems. Let's review:
-I run every morning (and sometimes in the evenings) for miles
-Timmy comes to my house and does manual labor
-Brittney is playing basketball regularly
-Shane still goes to the gym very regulary
-Katie is joining the motherfucking Navy
Those are some major calories if you put them all together, I'm sure. If Katie does this and we're still together through it all, she's gonna come back and she's gonna be able to kick my ass all over the place. I guess that means I have to keep myself in shape through it all. I guess it's a good thing, though, that we're all at least trying to stay healthy. Especially since most of us believe that when we die, it's over and it'd probably be best to stay here as long as we can and be healthy while we're doing it.
We were supposed to have played a show last night but as I had the feeling, it went terribly wrong and didn't happen in the end. Long story, I guess. Everything is a long story. I've been talking to this girl named Alex who is always at local shows and was wearing a Cramps shirt when we played Salvation Army and I told her about the show yesterday and she came with a couple of her friends and what happens? Well nothing. Show can't go on because Jason forgets things and didn't remember us confirming that we could do a show. So we all ended up going out to eat Denny's. It was me, Brittney, Shane, Timmy, Alex the boy, Alex the girl, Amanda, and Alex the girl's friend Kirby who also comes to see us a lot. And we ate cheese fries and drank water because we're collectively poor. Brittney needs $280, so if you'd like to donate to the Get Brittney Some Money Because She Overdrew Fund, please do so. I'm getting her $70 today if she comes over while I'm here.
Anyway, I'm kind of tired because I've been waking up at 7 AM. I have to wake up at 6:30 AM on Monday and get to the middle school by 7. I'm not looking forward to that. I'm gonna run a 5K race tomorrow. That's 3.1 miles for the metrically challenged (like myself). Once again, to the religious ones, pray for me in that and for Katie and I to be alright through this since my regular readers should have a grasp on just how hard, persistently, and thoroughly I've been after her and how much she means to me. Anyone have any stories about people they've known going into the military and how often they get to see them? I'd like to know what to prepare myself for.
Monday, August 3, 2009
So like any normal human being that doesn't know what to say or do when in shock, I start saying things that come off as mean and unsupportive. It's no secret. I do not support joining the military. Fuck militarism. I hate recruiters. They lie and persuade at any costs to get more bodies to enlist. And poor Katie is taking the bait. I'm sorry, Katie, but I really don't think it's going to be anything like you think. You aren't taking control of your life. You're giving it away. You aren't going to make $80,000 a year at your rank. You aren't going to have an "ordinary job." You are going to be working on a military ship for months at a time out at sea. You aren't going to come back in 4 years and buy a home and easily raise a family, though that'd be great for us. That's the portrait they paint for you to join. That's not what a photograph would look like, though. I totally wish she understood this. I wish I could shoot her with a sense-making dart or some shit. Anything to keep her from going off to boot camp and then to wherever they station her. Anything. I have busted my ass trying to find time to be with her and I am always very nice when something comes up and I can't see her because my logic is that one day, it'll pay off and I'll get my time in.
She tells me she gets time to come home every month. First off, I doubt that seriously. Secondly, she'll probably be put in a place where it won't be easy for her to go from there to here and back. And third of all, how often does she see me now? Four times a year? If she does get to come back, I feel I'm not going to be the one she comes and visits. I don't feel that that's being pessimistic, either. That's me being honest and realistic about things.
And here is my absolute truth: I never really expected for Katie to go to Maine with Tim, Brittney, and I. God, that's such a stretch. And that talk about getting married and living together for a long time? Sure, that'd be fucking excellent, but was I writing that in the history book of my life in pen as if it might as well already have happened? No. I didn't even put it on my blog. What gets me though is that now, if she really goes through with this, takes her tests, gets checked, gets assigned a location and position, and makes it through bootcamp and leaves in the Navy, now we don't even get a shot at that. There's no fun apartment in Maine waiting for all of us and her. I'd love there to be. I hope by some stroke of luck or by a choice things turn around and that can happen. But if she really gets to go through with this, it's not going to.
I feel so selfish sometimes. But in all honesty, I've been very patient with her. I've waited 8 months and have been very persistant with trying to be with her. I haven't had a girlfriend in almost 2 years until now. I just want a happy and simple and love-filled relationship with her. I don't want her to go on a boat. I don't want her to leave me. I want her to follow her dreams, yes. If I really felt she was planning on going to like New York to follow some dream of hers or sometehing random like that, that's one thing. But her dream is not to work on a Naval ship, I'm sorry. She might feel like it's the right thing to do at this point in time, but it's not. Maybe I'm close-minded, but I'm pretty sure I'm not crazy. Caleb has been in the Young Marines or Sea Cadets for years now and has abadoned it because they're so full of shit in everything they promise. I believe that perspective more than the one Katie's gotten from talking to a recruiter for a day or whatever. Goddammit goddammit goddammit I wish I could change everything.
I feel like this is how my mom feels about me moving away. At least my mom knows where I'm going, who I'm going with, when I'm going, how long I'm going for, how far away it is, and all of those things. And she lives with me every day at this point. I guess this brings to the forefront that I really should be spending more quality time with my dad because I'm going to be a lot less present in his life before too long and I don't see him every day. If this is all a test from "God" so I can see through my dad's eyes and Katie doesn't really leave, then that's a cruel authority figure. But I'd happily let it be just that. I hate this right now. Relationships can suck. I wish my happiness lasted longer than like 8 or 9 days for once. All of you with religions, please pray for me. Pray that my happiness returns and things work out for me for at least a while. I want at least a shot at a normal relationship. That's all I ask. Shouldn't I be getting breaks for the attempt of trying to date a girl who lives 90 miles away? You people with girlfriends down the street don't know what it's like...but this is life, I guess. It really sucks this instant. To all of my friends who have been talking to me tonight through this: thank you very much. I really, really need a hug. A hug from my girlfriend would be ideal!!!
Well like I went to Hagerstown, as I think I said in my last blog, and they didn't have it. I got Paint It Black, I think I said. If I didn't say that, then I'm saying it now. I'll have to order it straight from Fat Wreck, I guess. I don't think I'm seeing Off With Their Heads because see, I'm trying to change the day I see my dad from Thursdays to Tuesdays because I Forget tends to play lots of shows on Thursdays and my mom is busy on Tuesdays as it is, so it'd make sense to change it. Well August 18th is a Tuesday, so I probably won't be able to get out to Baltimore to see OWTH on that day now. Bummer. I don't really care but I do. I've seen so many great bands this year already. Some of my absolute favorites. I really want to see American Steel, The Lawrence Arms, and Against Me! now. OWTH is like on my secondary list. Whatev. I'll see them one day because they never quit touring.
Much like Brittney, I got my hair cut last night. It's shorter than it's been in probably almost 8 years. But hey, it feels nicer when running and any other time and it grows back...but I'm not sure if I want it to grow back or not yet. Hair used to be like my way of telling the world to fuck itself but I think my statement is over and I don't care what it looks like as much anymore. I mean, the world can still go fuck itself, but my mouth can more easily express that than my hair can. Everyone's hair is long nowadays anyway. Fuck it, ya know?
So anyway, I ran again this morning. Cross country is gonna be alright. Katie's gonna run cross country for her college team because they're paying her $1,000 to do it. Wish I was getting that for doing it. I'd buy a car. Maybe a new drumset if not that. I have almost half a thousand right now, though. Anyway, running is alright. We didn't run in circles around the soccer field and there were actually a good many people there this day. I'm not the only new kid, so that's always nice. And our first meet is in Clear Spring! That's like 5 minutes from Williamsport for those who don't know. That's where Katie lives, for those who don't know. That makes me happy. The fuckin' marching band wouldn't be going out there. And I'm not on a fucking field setting drill right now, which is just awesome.
Oh, I watched a little bit of footage of the band on Facebook and the drumline sounds good. That makes me feel so relieved. I didn't want the band to fall apart without me, which I was afraid of. They'll hold their own. Good kids. Some of the kids in band were at cross country. Even one girl in drumline was. That kind of makes me feel guilty but fuck it! It's my life. I'll live it how I want. And I really need the weekends since I have a girlfriend who lives an hour and a half away and has college five days a week. You understand. I've got summer homework I need to start doing soon....
Saturday, August 1, 2009
I have an increasingly bad cough. I hate allergies or whatever this is.
So I went to Brittney's family reunion today where we all realized that I Forget all wears Nike shoes now. Sweat shop babies! Woo!!! I ate food. Apple pie is good. This was the first year in high school that I did not march in the Fort Ashby Parade because I'm officially not doing band. Wonder how this is going to play out with my dad.
After the reunion, we got Timmy from his grandma's house and then drove to Hagerstown to pick up Kaitlyn. Katie had left for the beach a few minutes before I got there, so I did not get to see her. Fuckin' horrible planning and timing we both have. I did buy a Paint It Black CD at the FYE there for $10 like I'd wanted to do, though. I did not get my hair cut today as I wanted to. Maybe tomorrow. Paint It Black are awesome. I went to Tim's afterwards and played a little Mario Kart and felt like dying. Then Kierston's grandma drove me to my stepdad's. What an uneventful-seeming eventful day.
Shane told me that 3Oh!3 is a joke band, basically. If that is true, then I'll see them as Larry the Cable Guy and be able to appreciate them a little more. Still not my thing. LMFAO, Millionaires, and brokeNCYDE need to fuck off, though. Music is dying and the corpses are mating. Bleck.
I wanted to go visit Katie on Monday but there are a lot of things preventing that including a mandatory meeting at the high school at 6 PM. Gonna have to work on finding time because this is a pain in the ass...