Sunday, November 29, 2009

I should really stop this

I many important things happen in my life between these posts. Like that show at The Warren with a record crowd, that girl Jeannine coming to the show, not talking to me, and then texting me and talking to me on MSN and telling me how much she thinks about me, and...I guess that's about it. I also went Black Friday shopping and Thanksgiving happened. So which of these things should I cover?

Abortions. Sounds good. Well I don't really like talking about abortions or anything like that. People just disagree. I don't even like talking politics. I can enjoy people so much better if I don't know their political stance. Like...oh, he's got really nice parents....but oh, they watch the O'Reily Factor every night. I'm going astray, though. Abortions. I'm going to talk about them. Keep in mind I'm not very politically educated anymore.

Why are abortions bad? Because everyone deserves a chance at life. Everyone. Even that baby that's going to be born without a skull. Can't argue with that. Next.

Why are abortions good? Well, not everyone wants to bring a baby without a skull into the world or they're not capable of giving birth or if they are capable of giving birth, they aren't economically capable of raising a kid. But they are un-American. Because first off, you should be working 3 or 4 jobs to support your family to be a true American. George W Bush said that about a woman once himself. So if you ignore that, well, I guess they are just irresponsible. I don't really think abortions are good. If the guy don't wrap it, that's your problem. Raped? I aint give a shit. Shouldn't have been so slutty. Shoulda carried a knife. There's no excuse for having an abortion. None. I don't want to hear your arguments. This is a freedom you shouldn't have. There should not be the choice to not raise a kid. FUCK ADOPTIONS! RAISE IT YOURSELF, YOU SLUT!

That's all.

Man, that felt good. I think I'm good at this. What else? Gay marriage?! Okay!

The Bible clearly states that queers are to be stoned to death. Allowing two men or two women to get married is completely against the Bible. That's why it should be against the United States federal law to let gays marry. You can't argue against that. Separation of Church and State, you say? I don't know what that is or means.

That's all.

You guys don't even know how much good I'm doing for the world right now. I am taking all of these controversial topics and giving unarguable solutions. This is going to give us so much more time to fight the war on drugs!!! YES!!!! Personal choices = bad!

Much like the guy who found those things about the Mormon religion in the ground in upstate New York (his name was Joseph Smith), I deserve a seat between God and Jesus. BETWEEN! I'll sit on Joseph Smith's lap. He and I both caused so much good to the human race that...well, we're more important than God or Jesus. What? You say you thought I was an Atheist? Well I was. 'Till I learned I was more important than God and Jesus. I can dig that. Also, I want thirty wives. At least. That way I can have unprotected sex, get bitches pregnant, and still not have to fuck a pregnant bitch! And none of them are allowed to get abortions! And who needs gay marriage when you can have thirty wives?! That's right! No one! QUEERS! Stone 'em to death!

I think you all agree.


Friday, November 20, 2009


It's been a while. I don't know what it is. I just don't feel the drive to get on here. I mean, I check my blogger every day, but I never do anything. I even read Brendan's blog every day. It's like...I don't know. I'm writing right now because no one else is online to talk to. I think I'm addicted to talking to people online. But at least I'm not weird and can't talk to the same people in person. I'm guessing you want a recap of my life lately? Well we have a show coming up on Sunday and I, with the help of friends, made over 100 flyers for the show and put them all over the school and handed them out. That was pretty cool. Most of them stayed up through the school all week long. Hopefully a good many people will attend and the room will be packed!

Last weekend we all went out rollerskating together. It was me, Jim, Tim, Nick, Caleb, Alex the boy, Alex the girl, Kayla, and Tabitha. Good group. Good time, too. When I got back, I had to tell Alex the girl about how depressed I get when I have a good time. I don't know if it's the crash after a high or if I just wish I'd have had a girl to enjoy my time with. I guess that's pathetic. But seriously, I haven't had an actual girlfriend in over two years. I don't think it's that much to ask! I'mma tryin'. Real hard.

Also...what else? We went to some mall in Baltimore yesterday for like 6 or 7 hours before seeing Medieval Times. I bought six CDs. I got the following:

ALL - Allroy's Revenge
ALL - Breaking Things
Alkaline Trio - Goddamnit
The Hives - Veni Vidi Vicious
Living End - Modern Artillery
Smoking Popes - 1991-1998

And for less than $40 I got all of that! I got a pretty good deal there. And I got a Vans hat for $10. I could have bought CDs for that, I'm just now realizing. However, it kept my shitty hair in hiding yesterday and kept my head warm tonight at the football game. And we also saw Paranormal Activity at the mall there. The theatres had 24 different cinemas. Fuckin' awesome, too. Like the one I went to in Myrtle Beach a few years back when I saw Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Fucked up movie, too. Don't really want to get into movie reviews.

Game tonight was a good'un. I really don't know what Katlin thinks of me. I also don't know what Karalee thinks of me. I'm not real sure what many of the freshmen think of me. I took a cowbell and a drumstick to the game, though. That was a lot of fun. I marched with the band and played the samba rhythm I wrote for the quads last year on my cowbell, though. That was fun as well.

I'm hoping to maybe rehearse with I Forget tomorrow and then go to Jim's where Kylie and Gracie may be coming. I don't have anything controversial to say, really. I've been working on this paper with Nick about how 9-11 was an inside job and that's where all my work in controversy goes. After that I just don't give a fuck. It's like...bring on the thoughtless thoughts. That's what I'm all about right now. I feel like I can't maintain all of my friends as I get more. It's like I talk to a certain amount and can't go over it. I don't know if I like that. I'm just being depressing now. Fun night, though. Future's lookin' fun. Show on Sunday. I hope Katlin comes. I hope everyone comes. Should be a good show...


Friday, November 6, 2009

Live from Computer Programming

I finished my test yesterday, so I'm sitting here with nothing to do today. I'd normally just sleep but I'm not tired because I slept first block and taking that AP Biology test woke me up. I do not think I did real well on it. Oh well, it's over. No going back.

So Katlin gave me her number. That's awesome, right? Well like every up in my life, it must be almost immediately followed by a down. So last night, I was informed that she got her phone taken away for texting another senior. Her mom apparently does not want her involved with senior boys. What does this mean for me? Perhaps jail if things get going. Perhaps nothing and things won't be able to get going. What have I got to lose, though? My perfect criminal record? I'll be 18 in two months. She'll be 14 a couple of days. Monday, I believe. And my dad's birthday is tomorrow...and I want to rehearse at his house on that day. Maybe I should ask him tonight if we can rehearse and then get him something so I can give it to him while I'm over there. Everyone's getting older, but some people not fast enough, I suppose.

Talent show is in less than a week now. I'm playing "Time to Waste" and Dogjaw is playing "Calling All Skeletons." Why, you might ask? Because Alkaline Trio are just talent show-worthy. I'm capoing at the second fret for it so the guitar will be tuned to F#. That way when I play the lead part, that F# can sometimes be used as a root note. Also because it allows me to play the piano part on the guitar with ease. So you come out and watch me and see how I pull this off. Winner of the talent show gets to open for Charlie Kenney, who is some local country singer. I would have so much fun with that. I think the winner should open for I Forget, though. I'd be a good opener.

I don't think we're gonna play this powder puff game. I was told that the Fort Ashby Colts are playing. They're like 7 or 8 years old or some shit. That's ridick. I Forget would be so much better. In fact, a lot of people were going to come just to see I Forget. Then again, probably a lot of people are going to go just to see the Colts. Grrr. I've been looking for Miss Morrison all week but haven't even seen her. Then Alex McDonald was supposed to send me her number last night but that never happened, so I don't know what's going on there.

We'll play here at the high school in January, though. That'll be a great show. I'm gonna try to get Freak Scene up here for that one. We're the power trio. The alkaline trio, if you will. I Forget/Dogjaw/Freaky J. Oh, and Unheard Silence just tops it off. I miss those guys.

Have I mentioned recently that I don't know what to do about college? I don't know if I want to leave what I've worked for in the past 5 years behind. I mean, I Forget really is getting to be a decent-sounding band with decent songs. Like seriously, I might listen to them on my own even if I didn't drum for them. I couldn't used to say that. I wouldn't have listened to our first album if another band wrote it. Well, I don't even listen to it now. I think it's mediocre. Many agree with me. At least my bandmates do, except for Brandon. Anyway, so yeah, I might stick around and do something mediocre in college and stay with I Forget. I mean, who cares? I want to tour. If we can start like playing big cities and stuff then who cares where I live or what my day job is? That's an amazing thing. Even if we just play on the weekends, who cares? So we'll see.

Here's a list of some things that keep me sane. Drumming. My friends. The Office. My cats. This blog. Computer games. Now how many of those things would I have to give up when I went to college? I mean seriously, can I not have drums wherever I move to? That sucks. I want my band. Not just any band. My band who I write for and where Brittney and Shane and Brandon play in and we don't have to sit down and show each other every note that needs to be played because they just get it. Music is easy with I Forget. We could get booked as a cover band and never have played any songs togethere before, get up on stage, take requests, and play an entire show just like that. That's how easy music is. I can work with these people. I couldn't ask for more, so why should I leave it behind? I think I'm successful. I mean, I should probably get a job and some income, but I am a very happy person. Honestly, the biggest stress in my life is school work. I mean, mabe like millions of other kids try this logic but seriously, they don't play in pop punk bands from West Virginia. That is a very exclusive thing, I think.

So anyone in local bands out there, let's make a scene again. I'm up for it. It'll give me something to do. If I can play shows enough, I won't even need a job. Seriously. People do it. Sure, it's rough and tough to do, but people do it. It'd at least help, ya know? We'll see. I may just move far away.

I've still got an hour of this class left. I really don't have an hour's worth of stuff to type. I've realized that I don't pay a lot of attention to details in the visual world. At least I don't think I do. I pay attention in music. I decided that when I sing a song in my head, it's a lot more vivid than it is in most people's heads. There are drumfills and bass drum patterns and shit in my head. There are cymbal crashes on beat two in certain songs going on. I'm not just singing words and making guitar noises in my head. So when I see people draw these things that I'd never think of thinking about, I feel a little less bad about it. And when I see people do better in school than me, I know I can write a better song than them. I know I've said that sometime before. I'm very happy with the way I am. At least for now. I mean, I'll have to move out and get a life one day I dunno. I'm supposed to try to get a job with my sister at Walmart sometime. I'll see where that goes.

I'd narrate what's going on in here but it's kinda bland. Zack and Matt aren't supposed to be talking because they're taking a test. So that being the condition, there isn't much to laugh at or anything. They're talking about the game tonight, which I fully intend to attend. It shall be cold but I aint curr! I'll dress in ten layers! Michael's talking about how undangerous swine flu is. It's really a normal day in here except instead of me starting at some letters and numbers that don't make much sense, I'm making my own sense. I guess I should maybe go. I can try to get 50 minutes of sleep. They say it's supposed to be 39 degrees at 7 and then drop a degree each hour tonight. I'm ready for it. I need some gloves.


Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Weezer's Raditude: my thoughts.

As you may have heard, Raditude is the seventh studio album by the band Weezer. Weezer formed in 1992 and was soon widely known for their hit songs such as "Buddy Holly" (a song about looking like the singer Buddy Holly) and "Undone - The Sweater Song" (a song singing about pulling a loose string of a sweater until it comes undone). Their premier and self-titled album, sometimes known as The Blue Album was widely well-received and is a certified triple platinum album. It has become known as one of the highlight albums of the 1990s. Okay. Now that that's established, they've now released a new album 17 years in the future. Somewhere along the lines, Weezer sold out, it would appear. Instead of writing lyrics that are not "lame" such as "you take your car to work; I'll take my board. And when you're out of fuel, I'm still afloat," Weezer are writing about girls, partying, and being a father. Way to be mature, guys. Come on. Who the fuck writes about girls? Are you AC/DC or some shit? No one likes them. No one. Especially the people who give these reviews. God, Rivers. Grow a dick and write about a photograph, about being a rockstar. That's what we want to hear. Not this pussy bullshit.

God. I can't even believe this. The hooks might be some of the best Weezer's ever come up with. The album explores a lot of boundaries of their genre of "geek-rock" and then some. It's completely unheard of to change your sound from album to album or especially song to song. Weezer, hang it up. I give this album a 9/10 stars.


Sunday, November 1, 2009

This was for school, too

This was the second part of my assignment. This part wasn't a blog post and I didn't write it just now. I wrote it like an hour ago. It's a letter to Satan. I think it's pretty good.

HC 86 BOX 17B
Springfield, WV 26763Mr. Lucifer “Satan” Beelzebub
Founder/Owner, Hell
666 The Underworld
Detriot, Michigan 48201

Dear Mr. Satan:

Last night you allowed me to make an ass of myself in front of all of my friends. You should know more than most that I am a huge and very devout fan of yours. I spend many days of my life preaching about how I don’t believe that Jesus ever existed and how life after death is a made up fictional fairytale to keep people doing good in the world. For just once, I wanted to show my friends how wonderful and mighty and graceful you are and how much of a fraud “God” is. And what did you do? You did nothing.

I hereby wish to break all ties with you. I am through attending your church. The pastor did a subpar job anyway. I am not going to send my children to your church, either. I am going to find my own church. I think I will call it the Reformed Church of Satan. Yes, I think that is a great idea. I am going to fund the church by setting up false charities because I know that works really well.

Also it was really cold last night. Satan, we can still be friends if you just come back to me. I needed somebody to keep me warm last night but all I had was Timmy. Timmy does not radiate the flames of hell. It just isn’t the same. Please write back. I have enclosed all my loving to you. Sorry this letter wasn’t as formal as I intended for it to be. My innermost feelings for you get the best of me sometimes.


Kyle Wagoner

P.S. Thanks again for the musical abilities. It means the world to me.

This one's for school

I have an assignment where I have to write about an event in my life through two different genres of writing. So one genre is going to be a blog post which I'm going to write here and a second and the other I will figure out later. Now I just have to think of something that happened to me. I'm omitting this paragraph. I'll write about last night, I guess.

So yesterday was Halloween. Halloween is always one of those holidays I look forward to and then completely miss when it arrives. I spent 1 PM to 7 PM in my basement playing music by myself. It was mostly my computer playing through the PA (which almost caught on fire today) and me drumming along and then maybe an hour of me singing and playing some guitar. That's what a self-productive day to me is. Some people call a self-productive day a day when they clean their house, pay their bills, make phones calls, what have you, but my definition is a day spent playing music by myself.

Anyway, about Halloween. I did not dress up. I did not go Trick-or-Treating. I didn't even get those voicemail messages Nick sent me asking me to come candy-hunting until I was on my way to Tim's party about 15 minutes after it started. My dad came into the basement around 7 telling me it was 7 and that if I wanted to go, I should be getting my shit together. So that's what I did. I went upstairs and threw a button-up shirt on. That was my costume. I said I was "the guy that was not ready for Halloween" for Halloween. Oh well. Off to Tim's house.

So I get there and everyone is in the basement and guess what! It's yet another sausage fest! We have had pure sausage fest parties for probably the past 6 months in our friends group. No girls can ever make it. Ever. Alex, the girl, couldn't even come because she was in a car crash the night before. So there I was with a bunch of guys as they were watching...30 Days of Night? I can't remember what order movies were watched in. We watched that, 28 Weeks Later, and Texas Chainsaw Massacre. The latter (if you can even use the word "latter" in cases of there being three things listed) was a terrible movie. I got up in the middle of it and said, "This is fucking stupid. I cannot watch this." Jessica Biel's body drew me back in later. So that's Halloween for me. That and an Oojie board. No bags, no doorsteps, no dressing up, no hayrides, no girls, even. Just me, my friends, too many movies, and an Oojie board. Oh, and Jessica Biel fantasies, I guess. Still a stupid movie.

About that Oojie board. Caleb wouldn't let us "use" it in the house. Can anything bought at KB Toys be worthy of spiritual intervention? No. I don't really believe in all that anyway. So we "used" it outside in the rain on the hood of Timmy's car. I summoned Satan and asked that he bless us with his presence and sleep with me that night. I got no such satisfaction. Surprise. Still a really fun time no matter how I make it out to sound. There's nothing wrong with those aspects of a night. Oh, and we talked about how hot Nick's sister is. That's a good night.