I like...so many important things happen in my life between these posts. Like that show at The Warren with a record crowd, that girl Jeannine coming to the show, not talking to me, and then texting me and talking to me on MSN and telling me how much she thinks about me, and...I guess that's about it. I also went Black Friday shopping and Thanksgiving happened. So which of these things should I cover?
Abortions. Sounds good. Well I don't really like talking about abortions or anything like that. People just disagree. I don't even like talking politics. I can enjoy people so much better if I don't know their political stance. Like...oh, he's got really nice parents....but oh, they watch the O'Reily Factor every night. I'm going astray, though. Abortions. I'm going to talk about them. Keep in mind I'm not very politically educated anymore.
Why are abortions bad? Because everyone deserves a chance at life. Everyone. Even that baby that's going to be born without a skull. Can't argue with that. Next.
Why are abortions good? Well, not everyone wants to bring a baby without a skull into the world or they're not capable of giving birth or if they are capable of giving birth, they aren't economically capable of raising a kid. But they are un-American. Because first off, you should be working 3 or 4 jobs to support your family to be a true American. George W Bush said that about a woman once himself. So if you ignore that, well, I guess they are just irresponsible. I don't really think abortions are good. If the guy don't wrap it, that's your problem. Raped? I aint give a shit. Shouldn't have been so slutty. Shoulda carried a knife. There's no excuse for having an abortion. None. I don't want to hear your arguments. This is a freedom you shouldn't have. There should not be the choice to not raise a kid. FUCK ADOPTIONS! RAISE IT YOURSELF, YOU SLUT!
Man, that felt good. I think I'm good at this. What else? Gay marriage?! Okay!
The Bible clearly states that queers are to be stoned to death. Allowing two men or two women to get married is completely against the Bible. That's why it should be against the United States federal law to let gays marry. You can't argue against that. Separation of Church and State, you say? I don't know what that is or means.
You guys don't even know how much good I'm doing for the world right now. I am taking all of these controversial topics and giving unarguable solutions. This is going to give us so much more time to fight the war on drugs!!! YES!!!! Personal choices = bad!
Much like the guy who found those things about the Mormon religion in the ground in upstate New York (his name was Joseph Smith), I deserve a seat between God and Jesus. BETWEEN! I'll sit on Joseph Smith's lap. He and I both caused so much good to the human race that...well, we're more important than God or Jesus. What? You say you thought I was an Atheist? Well I was. 'Till I learned I was more important than God and Jesus. I can dig that. Also, I want thirty wives. At least. That way I can have unprotected sex, get bitches pregnant, and still not have to fuck a pregnant bitch! And none of them are allowed to get abortions! And who needs gay marriage when you can have thirty wives?! That's right! No one! QUEERS! Stone 'em to death!
I think you all agree.