Wednesday, December 31, 2008

My god told me to do this

Brendan Kelly, as you all know is the author of my bible, made a best of/worst of 2008 AD list today. He didn't really tell me to do this, but I feel that a best of/worst of list from Fort Ashby's point of view is just as needed as one from Chicago....not really. But here it goes, no built-up climax or anything.

Best way to piss off your parents:
Riding the bus home to someone's house during a snow storm and not calling your parents to tell them where you are or what you're doing and then fucking around that night. Wooops.

Best band I saw live in '08:
Dillinger Four. Fuck yeah. I'm still wearing the shirt I got from there. I'm pretty sure I'm the only person that wears a D4 shirt while working on a farm. Aside from that, Paddy, Erik, Lane, and their merch guy (Ben?) were fucking cool guys. Billy went to a bar after the show or something. Who does that?

Best band I saw live in '08 (on Youtube):
The Hives. You really don't need to see them live to know what they're going to sound like live. You should hear the Christmas song they did with Cydni Lauper. Best Christmas song written about fucking sisters and mothers goes to that one.

Best shoes of '08:
My Descendents shoes. No description needed.

Biggest let down album of the year:
Apparently bands that I don't listen to put out some pretty shitty albums this year. How about we just say Chinese Democracy and call it fair?

Biggest not let down album of the year:
D4's Civil War was pretty awesome. Weezer's new album has like my favorite song in the world on it. I didn't get any let down albums this year. I know where the shit's at. I even like Good Riddance's live album and I've never found a redeemable quality about them before other than they're pretty DIY.

Worst band of '08:
All Time Low. Hopefully this cancels out their award for best band of '08 by AP fucking Magazine they won. My thoughts and words are as liable as AP's, right? I think so.

Most expensive Christmas present:
My Kawai piano. If someone got something that cost more than $3,200, let me know. That shit is serious. Who needs a car?

Most offensive person of '08:
Probably Nick George or Sarah Silverman. Nah, it was everyone in I Forget for releasing an album. Congratulations, self. Oh, Blag Dahlia probably did something offensive sometime this year since that's his thing.

Most annoying class at Frankfort High School:
The freshman class. Like, I usually have no problem with the new class no matter how old I am or anything, but these kids are ghastly.

Best break-up of '08:
Jimmy and Molly. I never understood that shit anyway. Some things just

Best event of '08:
It's a tie between Obama being elected and Twilight's time in theatres expiring. Has that even happened yet?

Best I Forget performance of '08:
I think dressing like cowboys at the Teen Center in Romney was pretty priceless. We probably didn't sound very good, though. Umm...we didn't sound good at the Coke Plant, either. We pretty much just aren't a very good band.

Worst I Forget performance of '08:
The time in Augusta where we got to play for 20 minutes was shitty. I think we actually sounded pretty good that day, too. Oh well. We really sucked at the Augusta County Gym, too. Sorta... Fuck it.

Longest piss:
I think I went to NY this spring. Maybe it was a year ago. Anyway, 45 seconds or so of constant pissing. I remember seeing Ozzy after getting to finally piss. Wax museums don't have bathrooms until like the 4th floor. If that wasn't this year (I'm very sure it wasn't), then it wins longest piss of '07. Fuck, longest of my life.

Worst breath of '08:
Pooty Tat. The cat living in my basement that was supposed to catch the mice. She doesn't catch mice, but her breath still smells. I know, this sounds like a quote from Dickinson novel, but what are you supposed to say about a cat with bad breath? Do they make bad breath food for cats like they do for dogs?

Worst best of/worst of list of '08:
This one. Maybe this just isn't my calling. I don't even feel better having said anything I've said. I told you there was no climax.


Saturday, December 27, 2008

Here's something uninteresting: December 27, 2008

Well yesterday was pointless...the yesterday that technically ended 12 minutes ago. I guess I learned a little bit of piano and bass, whatever. I feel like I'm getting better somehow on both, so that's worth living a day. I hadn't realized that Alkaline Trio had an excellent drummer until just today. Interesting. I might have to listen obsessively.

Brittney and I decided not to go to the studio tomorrow with the drums and shit (which have been sitting in pieces in my basement for two weeks now so that I wouldn't have to take them back apart for the studio) and so we're going to rehearse at home. Great. That worked flawlessly. I've been not drumming for two weeks because I thought something was going to happen that's not going to happen. Oh well. I still have drums and I am thankful. So we're gonna finish writing our album tomorrow and then record it probably sometime this week. So yes, I'll have to tear those fucking drums back down. I hate drums.

Katie agrees with me that The Notebook didn't have a sad ending. I said that it had the happiest ending possible and that's why that one doesn't make me cry. I guess a perfect ending is worth crying over, but I was so set on not crying watching a woman with Alzheimer's that I didn't let it slip for being a beautiful story. Very unrealistic love-wise, though. Well, maybe it's possible but this world is fucked for love, it seems. Where are the original emo bands when you need them? Blake? Ian? Rivers? Are you there? We need some songs about real emotions because our world and music scene are both fucked.

I don't know if I've said this or not on here, but like vintage emo = fucking awesome. Emo is supposed to mean "emotional" as opposed to "emotionless rockstar cockhead mentality," and not as opposed to "music not about cutting yourself." Fuck you, Hawthorne Heights. You ruined emo. And I don't give a fuck if that guy died, I still say you destroyed emo. The fucking Starting Line and My Chemical Romance didn't really help matters much, either. Not that I have anything against them. Why can't good music stay underground? Hmm? Keep it sacred. You're pouring the holy water into the mainstream! No!!!! Fuck, look what you did, Green Day! You made All Time Low like fourth-handedly. And YOU, you reading this. You're the one that buys those fucking horrible records. Pinkerton beats the hell out of any modern emo album. Listen to some fucking Jawbreaker. You ruin fashion, you ruin music, you ruin art, you ruin the scene, you ruin the earth. Fucking emos. You give the original emos a bad face. Emo used to be so punk! Fucking Fugazi! That's like the child of Minor Threat! You guys can blow me.

You know that NOFX "It's My Job to Keep Punk Rock Elite"? Something like that. Well it's not just Fat Mike's job, it's everyone's job. Even if you don't like punk, it still applies. If you don't like punk, then that's all the more reason to leave it alone and not try to call your shitty band a punk band. Go stomp some scene band CDs in your local record store. Burn the Punk Goes Crunk shelf to the ground. And fucking Punk Goes Pop 2 is coming out this year. Haven't they realized that all of the punk bands on those comps have abandoned ship? Scary Kids Scaring Kids? Forever the Sickest Kids? The Maine? What the fuck are they doing on any comp labeled as a "punk" comp? Fuck you, Fearless Records. You're all ruining everything. I wouldn't hate your shitty band if they didn't call themselves a punk band. I've been over this. I don't hate scene bands until they shit in my house and don't flush and empty my fridge. You ruin everything. Ruin your own crowd. We should all be ashamed.

So maybe it's not as big of a deal as I'm making it out to be...but I think it is. Okay, so scene bands still beat the hell out of Nickelback, right? I'd rather listen to Mayday Parade than Daughtry. But...Daughtry doesn't claim to be punk and does nothing to any punk crowds. I have seen punk kids lost to the scene! Fuck them. I could go in circles for days. I really need to put out my compilation so I can quit talking about this. If I finally do my part, I'll feel better.

Goooood night a-ding-ding-ding-ding. FIVE, FOUR, THREE, TWO, ONE, ZERO!


Piano is a way

My piano is now in my basement and if I turn to the left, I can touch it on accident. That's how close it is. Awesome, huh? My basement is so badass. I'll think about taking a picture and putting it on MySpace since I charged my camera batteries for the first time in like 3 months.

Speaking of badass, I have two words for you: Matt Freeman. Bassist for Rancid, formerly of Social D? You know? The insane one with the insane bass solos and shit. I'm gonna try to learn some of his shit so I can become an excellent punk bassist or something. See, Brittney and I are starting this street punk band with Spencer Clites and I'm playing bass. Gonna be a lot of fun because I get to scream duet with Brittney like Lawrence Arms shit. Recent Lawrence Arms, that is. I'm gonna take the "ad" out of "badass!"

I gave Katie a bunch of CDs last night including D4's Civil War, both of Dead to Me's CDs, the rest of the CDs I got for Christmas, and Weezer's Pinkerton. I shouldn't have given her Pinkerton yet. It doesn't get much better than that. She said she's been listening to it all day and that "Tired of Sex" is her favorite song on it right now. I've never heard that one before, but whatever. It's pretty much the best album EVER. So getting into that, my list for today is my top 11 favorite albums.

1. Weezer's Pinkerton

This is pretty much just the best album I've ever heard all-around. The drums are incredible, especially. The best drum performance, I think, Pat Wilson has ever given on a Weezer album. It's often cited as the first emo album and I'm totally for original emo. 10 amazing songs, nothing filler. Fucking divine.

2. Dillinger Four's Versus God

I'm a sucker for my D4. This is just my favorite album of theirs but there are plenty of reasons why. One reason why it's my second favorite album I've ever heard is that it's the best kind of pop punk there is and the songs are geniusly composed. And what's not awesome about song names like "total. fucking. gone. song" or "Music is None of My Business"? 10 stars out of 5.

3. Propagandhi's How to Clean Everything

What makes How to Clean Everything an amazing album? Oh nothing, maybe just that John Samson helped write a lot of the songs. Maybe because it's the most angry pop punk the world's ever heard. It mixes pop punk and thrash punk. Perfectly. Not to sound like an early Propagandhi poseur that hates Potemkin City Limits (don't get me wrong, that album's in my top 20), but this is definitely my favorite of theirs. Maybe not their best, but my favorite.

4. Bracket's Requiem
Bracket has to be the lamest band I know of, but I love them dearly. They're my favorite band, probably. This is their most recent release and it was completely self-produced and home-recorded. Therefore, it's their first release that they could do whatever they wanted on. So what'd they do? Made an a'capella/punk album. Umm...pretty much the best vocal harmonies you will EVER hear in punk music EVER. EVER! Not to mention the songs are incredible.

5. The Weakerthans' Left & Leaving

This album makes me cry every time. John Samson is the best lyricist I know of. This album is the epitome of his pure genius. I'd give some personal favorite songs, but it'd be easier just to recommend the entire album because there's no stopping the brilliance. But I'll say that the title track is incredible. You may have heard "Aside" on the credits or the soundtrack of Wedding Crashers.

6. NOFX's So Long and Thanks for All the Shoes

This thing is giving me hell about uploading more pictures, so I'm just going to give pictures to the top 5. However, that doesn't stop this from being NOFX's best album, in my opinion. It's their best album in their opinion, too. It's basically a skacore album, I guess. I'm not really into that much ska, I'm sorry (however, Goldfinger have won my heart), but this is a good mix of ska and punk and hardcore. NOFX aren't the best song writers or musicians by any means, but they have a pretty good idea what they're here to do and what they're good at doing and they do it all very well. Did I ever mention they got me into real punk? Or that I met Fat Mike a few months ago? Or that he told me that I'm fucked because we live in WV?

7. The Lawrence Arms' Oh! Calcutta!

The Lawrence Arms...where to start? I can start by admitting that I've only known about them for like...maybe 3 years. So I didn't know about them before this album was on the shelves. I don't own The Greatest Story Ever Told on CD, but I have all of the songs. Well, based on what I've heard from their other CDs and off of Oh! Calcutta!, I can speculate that I think they've gotten much better and work together much better as a band on this album than on previous ones. I was talking about doing duet screaming with Brittney in our new street punk band like The Lawrence Arms do. That's exactly what you should expect on this album. Very powerful songs, very dirty sound. Kind of like a polished turd, but a very well-composed turd. This album is not shit by any means. Listen to it, bitch. Did I mention that Brendan Kelly from TLA is the reason I have this blog in the first place?

8. Against Me!'s As the Eternal Cowboy

So I was in FYE looking for NOFX albums I didn't own to ask for for Christmas. The guy says "If you like NOFX, you should check out Against Me!" Thank God for that guy. I'm not sure who it even was now, but this was a good pick of a CD on my part. It's a blend of westernish folk with punk. I do love my punk blends. Umm...11 songs I want to say? A couple of very good acoustic songs and an instrumental as well as the full-band songs. Very energetic but with some calm sections in between. Let me point out songs like "Potatoes, Rice, and Bread," "Turn Those Clapping Hands into Angry Balled Fists," and "You Look Like I Need a Drink" as being just a few of the amazing songs on this album. I give every album on here 10 stars out of 5, I just like some more than others and some mean more to me than others.

9. Dead to Me's Cuban Ballerina

If I Forget's first album was this good, I'd have shot myself. It wasn't, so I'm still here. Let me begin by saying that the drums on this album VERY heavily influenced the drums to I Forget's first album. I could point out a rip off of a fill or rhythm in pretty much every song on here. But why not rip it off? It's only like 11 amazing straight punk (okay, maybe a lot of pop thrown in, too) songs. It probably wins the award for album most listened to by Kyle Wagoner. It's only like 25 minutes in length! Some of the best 25 minutes of my life were spent listening to this album. Oh! And their new EP is fucking amazing, too. It's probably not even 10 minutes long. I'd say that they've gotten a lot better since this album, but it was still fucking the bomb.

10. Green Day's Nimrod

The most all over the place genre'd album I've ever heard. It's so random that it's like a b-sides album, but the songs work together much better than a b-sides album. It's got songs like "Platypus (I Hate You)," "Nice Guys Finish Last," "Take Back," "Worry Rock," and that song I sang at the middle school graduation like the corny bastard I am, "Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)." Don't let that song scare you, though. It's a fucking awesome album. Green Day's best, I'd say. Everything's fuckin' wonderful!

11. The Weakerthans' Reconstruction Site

I would have stopped at 10, but The Weakerthans are so good that they made my list twice and this album couldn't not be on it. I bought this album in NYC and listened to it on the way home (I bought it with Randy's Randy The Band and Lagwagon's Blaze). Umm...not much to say other than it's one of the best albums I've ever heard ever. I say the same thing for a lot of these albums, but fuck! John Samson is a god! He's helped write 3 of my top 11 favorite albums! He actually completely writes everything for The Weakerthans lyric-wise and often music-wise, too. He's a god, it's official.

So there you have it. Fucking awesome albums. I'm quickly falling in love with Jawbreaker's
Dear You, so if I make a list again one day, it may very well make it. Fuck I love those albums. I'm also probably forgetting some good ones. If those aren't enough for you, try The Vandals' Look at What I Almost Stepped In or any album by Randy...OR! Motion City Soundtrack albums. They can fucking write albums. I just didn't put them because I haven't listened to their albums a million times like the ones I named. They're definitely probably some of the best albums I've ever heard though. Frenzal Rhomb's another good one for albums. Superdrag.

Okay, that's all. Don't be greedy, I worked hard on those.


Thursday, December 25, 2008

Post my ass.

So the girl I talk about a lot in my blogs now knows that I write about her because I told her. That might make me sound like a creeper or some shit, but I explained it in a non-creeper way, even if it's not a creeper-like thing to do. Anyway, now that she knows that I write about her, I'll go ahead and say that her name is Katie because it is. We like each other. Weird, huh? It happens, I guess.

Anyway, that's looking good. Christmas is today and I'm sure many of you got lots of presents. Not to downsize anything you might have got, but I got a new iPod, a '51 precision bass, and a fucking electronic piano. A piano. Fuck me. $3,200 piano. That's my Christmas/birthday present and I'm not going to complain at all. My dad is insane. Oh, and I got 29 hours and nine minutes worth of Monty Python DVDs not including extra material, Lagwagon, Dead to Me, Off With Their Heads, and a Jawbreaker CD. I'm into sweaters and got a few of those, as well, but there's not much to talk about on that subject.

A $3,200 piano! For me! What the fuck am I going to do with that? I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I'm gonna bring it down to the basement with the rest of my expensive instruments and I'm going to play it every day like the rest of my expensive instruments. Where does my dad get this kind of money? Aside from physical presents, I've received close to $200 so far this holiday season. I say this far because 1.) my aunt is coming over in a little bit for dinner and 2.) my birthday is coming up soon and it's a holiday, too.

My new iPod is very cool. It's a 16G iPod and I'm sure it'll do the trick for fitting all of the music I want. There's a lot of shit on my computer that I don't care about being always available for me to listen to (i.e. Atreyu, 30 Seconds to Mars, Chicago, Teal Steel, etc.), so it should fit everything I want. It's got some cool features, like when you turn it side ways, you lose your place because it shows album art (which I don't have on 98% of my albums). So either I'll figure that out or it'll be a wasted feature for me.

Enough about what I got. Let's think about what poor people DIDN'T get! Okay, you done? Glad I could say the same thing your pastor says every week. Speaking of which, church last night was grueling. Who the fuck goes to church on a Wednesday night (especially one that doesn't believe in jesus or any religion)? Fucking waste of my time. Good job, I care just as little as I did before. I'd rather have shot a hole in a rabbit's head, and I'd never want to do that.

So why haven't I been posting this week? A couple of reasons. For one, I've been without a computer for a good bit of the time, for the time that I am on the computer, I usually talk to Katie about being alive and what that entails, and it's more interesting than talking to myself on here, frankly. Sorry if that offends you, but you guy(s) suck at feedback. Do you really blame me? Hmm...I could talk about things that annoy me and about liking or a girl, OR I could talk to a girl that I like about things that annoy me.

I kind of throw this whole thing around like it's a beach ball at a Nickelback concert, but this is significant. How often does ANYONE find someone that they like for who they are as they are and get the same back? Why compromise what you are and what you want when you can find a loophole that is exactly what is, or at least seems to be, right for you? Drive around the mall and park near JC Penny when you want to go to Sears or have someone from Sears bring the stuff to your car for you? It makes too much sense, and for that, I should be and am very thankful. Do me a favor and if you find someone that loves you for exactly who you are, cherish it fully. Whether that be a boyfriend/girlfriend/mom/sister/brother/dad/friend. Whatever. It's healthy and it's good to be surrounded by people that compliment you physically and figuratively.

I'm pretty sure I've tried to make that same speech like 3 times this past week, so there's another reason why I haven't been posting. Nothing to say, no reason to write.

Did I mention that my dad wants to take me college shopping before? Fuckkk. College. The last thing I want to think about aside from getting old and dieing...and maybe getting a job. I have no idea what I want in any respects. Well, I do, but I don't know how I'd incorporate college into the mix. I want to be in a long, healthy relationship and to keep playing with I Forget and enjoying my life for everything it's worth. I don't want to move away from everyone, I don't want to stay in this area, I don't want to ask everyone to leave with me if they don't want. It's very complicated. I assume I'll find a local college and go there so I can stay with the band and formally educate myself. I don't ever know what I'm gonna do about the long-lasting, healthy relationship, but I've never known what to do about that, so that shouldn't be a culture shock.

I'm being called to eat. Peace, assholes.


Monday, December 22, 2008

If I could, I'd give you my socks

What's more purposeful than going to school on a Monday before Christmas break when there's no school any other days that week? It was less eventful than the last day of the school year. There was something like 185 absent when the day started and I'm sure even more left after they realized that no one was at school and nothing was going to go on even if they stayed. Here's how my day went.

There was a 2-hour delay and no reason for it other than I think the school board wanted to try everything they could to get less school for today. If it'd have snowed in the least bit, I'm sure they would have called the whole day off. So anyway, I woke up at 8:31 (that's when I set the alarm because I figured I'd want to get ready before going to school the next day) and realized I didn't care if I was ready, so I tried to sleep again. So I got up at 8:47, went and got tea in the kitchen trying to draw no attention from the guy in my kitchen making it look pretty who I don't know. So I went to the basement to wait for school and there was another man in my basement who was quick to say that I have nice band equipment. I guess he assumed I had guitars and basses elsewhere because the only stringed instrument in the basement was an acoustic and the only other guitar was my Norma which is currently not a stringed instrument or even an electrical instrument. It doesn't work at all and serves no function, basically. So I sat through the man measuring my basement and had some nice short talk about how I sometimes sleep in the basement and yes, it's very cold when I do. So he left, I pet my cat, and caught the bus. No one was on the bus that I wanted to have anything to do with. Typical for nonsense school days.

I got to school knowing that I wasn't going to go to first or second block because of the policy someone found that was made up like 10 years ago about how VoTech students don't go to the VoTech during 2-hour delays. So I got 1984 off of Nick and started reading it again since it's been like 3 years since I last read it. I sat and read for an hour and a half waiting for lunch to come around. So lunch comes and I realize that the only friends of mine that came to school were Nick and Jimmy. Super pointless lunch for a super pointless day. Then I went to Advanced Chemistry. You'd think that in an advanced class, you'd do something even on off you wouldn't. And we didn't. We watched Mythbusters while the teacher tried to sleep. Then we went to either a basketball game with the seniors versus the teachers or to another room for those that aren't school-spirited for fourth block. I was in that room avoiding the basketball game. Luckily, the teacher supplied us with watching Grease, which I haven't seen since I was probably 6. I actually knew what was going on this time. Good music, needless to say. Then I went home with more people I didn't care about being with. Wonderful school day. I kept asking people throughout the day who had done any work. One person said they'd made up a test. Tomorrow is ISE day...which is intended for kids that have things to make up to come in. So today was officiallly pointless. At least it was 2 hours shorter than normal, I guess. I'd have gotten to go to McDonald's and get a McGriddle if it was 2 hours longer, though.

Wonderful school day. Enough of the bitching. The girl I've been talking to came with us to the recording studio yesterday and then to my house to watch a movie with us afterwards. According to a recent bulletin she posted, she's maybe interested in someone. I'm hoping that she means me. That'd make my year worth the while. Fuck that, this year has been great aside from romantic relationships, so I should suck it up. However, it WOULD make this year all-around awesome. If not now, then maybe it can give next year an awesome kick off.

So I'm definitely looking up to everything coming up. Christmas is in like..what? 3 days? That's fucking awesome. My birthday is, in turn, coming up in 13 days. What's not to be excited about? It's not like someone's broken up with me within the past 5 months...or the past 10 months, for that matter. It's also not like anyone's been with me for over a year, but at least there's nothing I'm mourning over and being a bitch about. It's a fresh start to things, I guess.

So I'm at Jim's house with Caleb right now. Nick, Belle, and Tim already left because they are all bitches. Each and every one of them. Oh, Shane was writing songs about his dick last night. That was new for me. I've never heard Shane make up a song with words. That's probably why.

Anyway, I'm at Jim's waiting to play Wii soon. I guess the typical Mario Kart and Super Smash Bros. I'm getting the new Animal Crossing for Christmas, which is going to be amazing. Did I mention the '51 bass? I think I did. It's going to be a good time. Oh, and I'm just forgetting what I was writing because I was talking to Jim and Caleb about The Living End....oh well.

Here's a list of bands I don't care about because I've been meaning to do that forever:

-Nickelback (an old stand-off)
-Hinder (Nickelback)
-Staind (Nickelback)
-3 Doors Down (Nickelback)
-Three Days Grace (not a good "punk band" whatever you try to say)
-Third Eye Blind (Nickelback)
-All Time Low (not pop punk)
-3Oh!3 (I've never listened to them, but I still don't care at all about them)
-The Maine (" ")
-Hannah Montana
-Guns 'N Roses
-False Alarm (That band that Fat Mike was in before NOFX. If they were anything like early NOFX, they blew and I don't care to hear them)
-Insane Clown Posse (hatchet in yo titty!)
-Metallica (even if they've done something for music, I don't care)
-Hawthorne Heights (kind of killed emo forever)
-every band that sings about Jesus being real and important
-Tokio Police Club
-Avenged Sevenfold

That was an awful list and I'm not at all happy with it, but whatever. You get the point. There are lots more and I don't always have a reason for not caring and don't care if they don't fit the descriptions I gave them. I just don't care about them. Do I really need a reason not to care? I think you only need a reason TO care.

For the record, Christmas Eve is the day devoted to saying "Christmas is really close!" and saying that about Christmas Eve is a waste.

My font changed, whatever. I copied and pasted and now it's arial. I don't care. Maybe it won't even turn out looking different and you won't know what I'm talking about. I still care about you as much as I care about The Naked Brothers Band falling off of the face of the earth.

I'm doing something tomorrow, that's all I'm going to say from now on. If I make plans and announce them, they don't happen, so I'll just tell you what happened when it's over.


Saturday, December 20, 2008

Who knows who Kyle Wagoner is? Okay, then I wrote this.

Does your Christmas tree look perfect this winter? You're a poseur if it does, I hope you know. Real Christmas trees look like shit. Fake ones look like pine trees. There's a very fine line. Maybe you have a real tree and it looks nice? You're still a poseur because you either went to a Christmas tree farm or spent an entire day in the woods looking for the perfect tree. If you're anything like my family, you went next door, cut down a bunch of shitty pine trees in a field, picked one that looked the most like it'd hold Christmas bulbs and feed the rest to the goats. That's OG.

If you say "poser," you're a poseur. Poseur.

You know what's disgusting? The Country Club Mall in LaVale. I'm assuming that most malls are just as invested with disgusting poseurs of all shapes, sizes, and colors. I saw some shirts at Spencer's that made me sick. Like this one that said something about a punk princess or some shit. What the fuck is a punk princess? Show me a punk song that says something nice about the phrase "punk princess." I did see a Bad Religion and a Dead Kennedys shirt and a guy with a million bolt piercings in his face with an orange over-thing on that had a Exploited thing on the back and some Anti-Flag patches and something under his over-thing that said "Fuck You." That might be a little punk...and there was a girl with an idiot son of an asshole hoodie on and NOFX patches on her purse. Those are all good punk bands or whatever, but I was sold when I saw the guy with the Descendents shirt on that was from a tour they had and I'd never seen before. I couldn't remain stagnant and had to run up to him in Walmart, take off my shoe, and tel him to check it out. I wear Descendents Vans, by the way.

On a side note, I hate when people try to tell me that Three Days Grace is a good punk band.

You know what's really punk? The Dixie Chicks. They are some brave motherfuckers and for that, I give my full respect. What else do I think is punk? Here's a list.

- Signing a guitar signed by someone famous.
- Killing cops. (or mall security guards)
- That time Shane told off that bitch woman when we played at the Coke Plant.
- Songs about how much Jesus sucks and isn't real.
- Patrick Costello.
- Superdrag using their money from their label to make a very un-radio friendly album.
- Playing in shit and killing yourself on stage...not really.

I obviously don't know what punk is at all or what I think punk is. But I know that punk princesses and Bratz dolls aren't punk. I know that Punk Goes... albums aren't punk at all anymore. I know that AP sucks most of the time and that Warped Tour is full of shit and Hot Topic is another corporation with just another target audience. I can totally see why some girls I know make their own clothes. If I had a sewing machine, I'd do the same thing. Going to DEB yesterday made me sick.

So if you're a punk poseur or a gangster poseur, a rock poseur in a poseur rock band, or any other sort of poseur, be yourself, please? That's like the key to life. Don't compromise. Someone will love you for exactly what you are and if you like someone who doesn't, then it's not worth it. It's okay to like different things, it's okay not to like certain things. I think Coldplay is an excellent band. So what? No one's opinion is going to change my mind. I like that Jonas Brothers song "Love Buzz." So? I think it's a good song. Thoughts about The Jonas Brothers won't change my mind about that, either, because I probably hate The Jonas Brothers more than anyone reading this, I'm just comfortable enough to admit that I like a song by them. And I like the song "Someday" by Nickelback. If I can say that I like a Nickelback song, I think you can be yourself. Wearing your belt backwards doesn't make you special, by the way.

Brian Warner (Marilyn Manson) once said, "If you want to be like me, be yourself." You might think he's as demented as the next man thinks, but he's got a great philosophy that everyone should follow regardless of everything. Believe what you believe, like what you like, oppose what you oppose, but also learn as much as you can about everything you draw an opinion about. That's my preaching for today. I'm gonna try to hang out with the "scene girl" tomorrow. Fingers crossed!


Friday, December 19, 2008

Journal X

Everyone is doing school work here in the computer lab except for me. I can't be arsed to do work at this time of the year. I had more donuts this morning and an open-book test. And now they expect me to work? Ha.

This really is my favorite time of every school year. The week before Christmas break. Everyone's carefree and it's not like it's the end of the year where there are lots of sad people and a huge feeling of relief, it's just a nice "hurry up and get your shit done before you forget it all within the next two weeks," kind of thing. No one cares that much of where you are and what you do during school. Everyone's happy because they're gettnig presents the next week. The christians are happy because their savior thousands of years ago around this time, so they say. It's nice.

Now, I know not everything in the world is nice. Yeah, lots of bad choices were made and/or bad luck came about and now there are lots of families that don't get to have an enjoyable Christmas. And Bush is trying to pass all of these policies before he gets out of office as a good-bye middle fingered-wave. Thanks, asshole. We hate you, too.

I finish up recording drums next week, we finish writing our songs that should have been finished months ago, we rush to finish an album by the middle of January. Professional recording at its finest. That's I Forget for you. I'd like to believe that we will one day have an album worth of material that we all know how to play well before we go into the studio. It'd make things a lot easier on everyone. I'm not supposed to tell anyone that we have an album coming out soon because it's supposed to be kept a secret to the general public, but if you're so lost that you're reading my blog, you deserve to know what's going on.

You know what you should do if you have a controlling boyfriend/girlfriend? Break up with them. They suck. Trust me, they do. You might be all like "But he/she loves me!" Whatever. You'll thank me one day if you take my advice. Would Louie Armstrong keep an abusive girlfriend? I think not.

So Alex has been writing political blog after political blog and I've only touched on my personal life for the past week. You know what's really cool about that? He does the dirty work for me so I don't have to talk about politics all of the time. If this girl moves away like she might, I'll join him in politics again, but right now I'm soaking up some good time feelings. Besides, Alex has had a girlfriend forever, so he's had time to get over the initial "This person makes me happy!" and get back to writing about things that matter to the world abroad. Fuckin' A, Alex.


Thursday, December 18, 2008

Don't pee on the cat. I just had it washed.

You ever just have one of those days? No, not one of those days where you tear your shirt in the morning, spill coffee on your pants, your zipper breaks, you piss on the floor because your urine went in two streams because you masturbated the night before, you get to school and you forgot your Algebra II book, you have shitty lunch, and when you get home, you've left your key inside and you have to shit and there's no way in and you have to wait for your dad to come home. I mean one of those days where you just feel good no matter what happens. I haven't had one of those in a while, but I think today is just one of those days.

Here's how my day went. Girl I've been into and talking to online sat with me on the bus and we had a nice in-person conversation. I went to VoTech only to get Krispy Kreme Doughnuts and no work. I go back to school, give my friends all some donuts and make them happy, I eat a good and nutritious lunch for once. I then go to third block, get no homework. Go to fourth block only to watch a play and have a good time. Then on the bus, I talk to this girl again until she gets off. Fucking awesome day. Maybe tomorrow will make today a complete waste, as life sometimes plays out, but maybe it will be even better. You know what sucks about being in a relationship? No one gives a shit or gives any pity for you once you're in one. That's alright, I suppose. Another negative is that everything gets sappy. Like blogs and songs. Fuck that. I'm going to continue writing about how much I hate Bill O'Reily and whatever the new Taylor Swift song of the week is regardless of what happens.

But for today, I think I'm going to keep to this kind of...mindless post. I don't really feel like elaborating on deep thoughts because I want to enjoy a carefree day and let it last as long as it wants.


Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Ear canal-al penetration?

No post yesterday. My mom's computer failed epically and by the time I got back to this computer, I'd forgotten that I wanted to post something. But I'm here now because we have a delay in our school day.

About that, I could write about how much I'm pissed that we have school at all and about how I should be sleeping my two extra hours now or at least be doing the work I have for today or finishing the book I have to read by 4th block, but instead, I'm here. Am I happy to be here? Yes and no. Do I think there's reason for us to go to school and not have the day off? Sure. The roads aren't as horrible as I thought and was hoping for last night. They were bad last night around 9:30, but somehow they've decided to thaw during the night or something. Am I thrilled about 4th block? Fuck no. I have lots of shit to do for that class and frankly, I don't feel like doing it at all. And I'm not going to do it at all, I don't think, yet.

I'm installing a desktop alarm clock because I'm planning on going to sleep on this couch because all of my stuff for school is down here. It sounds like a fire station siren when it goes off, so I think it'll do the trick.

Not much to say at this moment other than the girl I write about and I had a nice chat last night. I asked Timmy if it seemed too easy and he said no such thing. I completely agree with that, actually. I think the only times that relationships ever have a chance is if they take no effort to get started. In my experience and in my observations, at least. The whole...working to get a girlfriend thing never works. At least some good pop punk songs have come out of the concept though (i.e. At the Library - Green Day, Knucklehead - The Sheckies, every Bracket song ever, I Love You As a Friend - I Forget, etc.).

I'm totally going to sleep here on this couch once I post this. I don't care about world affairs right now because I'm tired. I need to develop a better system of finding out what kind of delays or cancellations we have. I had to walk around the house to get downstairs in the icy snow, fire up the computer, and wait for everything to quit lagging to find out if we had a 2-hour delay or no school at all. Bull shit, I tell you. Is it better than listening between Nickelback songs on GO106 for cancellations and delays? It's arguable.

Sorry I've been writing next to nothing this week. I'll improve eventually. Too bad I don't care that much if I write a certain amount. I care almost as much as I cared about TRL's final episode.


Monday, December 15, 2008

If a group of people try to beat me up, they'd better kill me because once they're done, I'm going to kill every one of them.

Shane had me watch a bunch of videos on Youtube of Black Sabbath, but mostly just Zakk Wylde being an ass and talk about being good at eating ass. Then we watched some people break their legs, arms, and their nutsacks open and then we watched some bird get killed by cars, baseballs, golf balls, and tennis balls and some deer get hit by various motor vehicles. Overall result: the feeling of being a real man.

Okay, so "Sabbath" has some significance in this post. I didn't post yesterday. Why? Because it was "the Sabbath day." Fuck that. The real reason was that I was doing something productive for once in the past few weeks, so there was no time for blogging or bathing. We're gonna fucking finish recording this album by February even if it kills us. We approximated having close to 15 guitars and basses all together amongst the three of us (Shane, Brittney, and I). I guess including Belle, it'd make 16.

I'm writing this from the VoTech. I'm in between classes and we get 20 minutes to do anything we want. This will probably shorten the length of this post for sure.

I was thinking about making two posts today: one for yesterday and one for today and after about 10 seconds of thought, I said, "Fuck that. To hell if I really feel that I have to write one post PER day." Who's dictating this? No one, it's just me. I'll post whenever I want and hold myself to no standards. I was told that I sounded sexist in my last post. Whatever, I since then have found ONE guy that likes Paramore and I've yet to find a guy that really has an interest in Twilight. Which brings us to today's topic:

Twilight is disgusting. It's like...death to literature. Must every art be reduced to mediocracy and bullshit? Sure, putting Nickelback on Radio Disney wasn't enough. We now must make the top selling book a book about a girl who wants a weird controlling boyfriend and all of those words that people use that I can't recall in times like these being rushed. Anyway, long story short: good vampires don't suck blood, only bad ones do. Does that make any sense? Where's the logic in that? They're not mosquitos in which case the mothers suck blood to give nutrients to the babies or whatever. This is like saying that only white men shit. I don't know, I haven't read the book, but I've read enough bad reviews and heard enough bad reviews to know that I'm probably not missing out on much. I don't really read much literature as it is, but I still wish that that art would hold its own while the rest of them fall. Come on, people. We have access to the entire world. We should know what art is by now.

Second block is starting, I have to go.


Saturday, December 13, 2008

My band is famous because our lead singer is a crack baby

Did you read my last blog entry? As I was sure was completely possibly of happening, neither of the possible plans for the day worked out. No I Forget playing and no Step-Brothers watching at Jimmy's. Instead, there was shopping. Lots and...well, not that much of shopping. I got a Fender '51 Precision Bass, though. That's exciting and worth mentioning, right?

So I'm a bit of a narcissist, I'll admit. After taking a few weeks of Marketing class, everything I do is applied to selling a product (seeing my Marketing class teacher, Mrs. Gurtler, at Walmart today didn't help that issue). By that, I mean that when I talk to someone, I try to remember that I'm trying to sell my body, basically. Every time I interact with another person, I'm being a prostitute. No, but I do remember that talking a lot about myself and not letting the customer be involved can lead to them getting pissed off at me and/or get bored with me. So the girl that keeps coming up in my blogs and I talked last night around midnight, I'd say. I apologized for only talking about myself and then I talked about myself some more. I'm wonderful. So she eventually said something about Paramore and liking them and I was like "Yeahhhh...I don't want to talk about what you like," basically. Of course, I didn't say that or really mean that. All I meant was that Paramore is not my thing. But it wasn't very smooth of me, I must admit. So what did I do with my free time today? I listened to Paramore. [-.-]

But you know, I don't really feel so bad about not liking them so much now. You know why? Because I am a boy. Boys don't like Paramore, almost by rule. I realized that I don't know a single boy that likes Paramore. I know a shit ton of girls that like them, but not a single guy. Why is this? Well, simply because Paramore is targeted to teenaged girls. It's true. Sexist? Maybe. True? Definitely. I'd love for someone to give me a list of 5 boys that like Paramore.

Okay, here's why, now after listening to them, I'm not a huge fan.
-All of their songs are depressing, man. |:(
-All of their songs are depressing
-They did a song for Twilight (also a chick thing, I think)
-Did I mention their songs all sound depressing?

I think you get the gist of that. Biggest thing...why can't you write a happy-sounding, upbeat song now and then? Not even their singles are upbeat, except maybe the one, but it's not real real upbeat. Also, I kind of hate how all of the songs have that annoying like...echo-y random diminished chord guitar picking. You know what I mean? The ones that just make you uneasy...

But I'll be straight with you on everything else about them.
-The vocal melodies aren't BAD
-The music is, for the most part, pretty alright (other than a lot of minor keys all of the time)
-The drummer seems pretty solid
-I don't pay attention to the rest of the music

Overall? I'd pick them over Kelly Clarkson or most things mainstream? At the same token, I was very happy to listen to The Living End directly afterwards.

Do I think Paramore is a bad band? No. Do I think people shouldn't call them "pop punk" ever? Yes. Good thing is that I don't think Paramore ever call themselves pop punk. Call your band "pop punk" and not be pop punk, I will hate it.

But enough about Paramore, I don't care enough about them to keep writing about them. So my friend Alex, who reads this (and is probably one of the very few that do), has been convinced by me to start a blog. Why do I think blogging important? Because Alex and I have a lot to say (or in my case, enough to say to last about 3 blogs and then I start making shit up) and people need to be exposed to our minds! I think anyone that feels that the world and society need some change mentally should write a blog, write a song, or get their message across in anyway possible. You know what's beautiful about blogs that separates them from say...punk songs? Blogs aren't a genre, so "3 chord songs are shitty," etc. aren't valid arguments here.

Enough about blogs now, Christmas is coming! You know what that means? I'm sure you do, and I'm not going to try to be a smartass and use recycled derrogatory statements about how Christmas is just a marketing stunts and it's filled with fat men and the midgets that follow, etc. I am going to say this: I'm probably getting like 5 gifts this year. Let's review: a couple CDs, a new iPod, a minifridge, a Monty Python DVD collection, and that Fender '51 P-Bass I got today. That's probably going to be about it. As I went to Walmart and found the things I wanted, I realized that they were ALL over $100. I hate asking for that kind of shit. Let's do a Mastercard commercial.

Fender '51 P Bass: $650
16GB iPod: $200
Flip camera: $127
Minifridge: $105
Having the nerve to ask for that many fucking expensive things: priceless?

I didn't even ask for the camera. I walked towards it, caught it's price tag, and then acted like I wanted to show my dad something else I wanted. Expensive little shits.

My balls itch, so I'm gonna go.


Friday, December 12, 2008

Ketchup is Mustard!

I earlier asked you if you found yourself attracted to someone that stood for everything you hate or something like that. Well have you ever found that something you so strongly believed wasn't always true (like Santa, Easter Bunny, Toothfairy, Jesus)? I did yesterday. It wasn't about how something wasn't real, it was more like a newsflash saying that the twin towers were actually hit by giraffes. So what did I find out? That scene girl I was talking about is interesting. Did you know that was possible? A scene kid (I'm wondering if she even is now) that has good English skills and talks well and holds conversation and agrees that major labels suck the life out of bands? I think I've found it. Maybe she's a punk/scene hybrid or something. I don't even know, but she said she'd listened to D4 over the summer and that when I let her listen to Propagandhi, she loved them.

I hope she doesn't read my blog...I think only guys my age (and who I know) read this. I should be safe. If she does, she's gonna be like "He's talking about me! I'm no scene bitch!" and then all of yesterday's afternoon will have gone to waste. But anyway, some cool things, some of which I've already mentioned.
-she hasn't seen a shit ton of scene bands in her life (I've seen way more of them than she has)
-she lives like 5 minutes away
-she rides the same bus as I
-she's new! (that means no history of being awkward around each other or any of that shit)

And if she does read this, then I want her to know that I'm sorry for making fun of her ever since I first saw her for looking like a scene kid. I'm a prejudice motherfucker (see most recent blog post). Oh, about that last blog, I wish I never had to say this and everyone would automatically get my humor, but I'm totally pro-gay and gay rights are the new black or women rights. I can't wait for the day.

Back to this girl, I really don't know that much about her or anything, so I'm not predicting anything or jumping to any conclusions or anything like that, but I must say that it's about time I've found someone that interests me at all. She took two classes of German. What isn't interesting about that? A lot of things, maybe, but I've had this on-going obsession with the German language. So am I expecting to start dating next week, get married, and have kids? Fuck no. That would be retarded. If anything, this is a message to me saying "Hey! Everyone in the world isn't boring!" It's about time something worth looking at and thinking about has washed up on the Frankfort shore. It's about fucking time I've felt something is worth while.

And let me be completely straight with you. I haven't ever talked to this girl in person. We just started messaging each other on MySpace yesterday and then it went to AIM. Will I talk to her next week? If I have anything to do with it you bet I will. Talking to someone on the internet means NOTHING (or at least next to nothing) in the love-life world. You have to physically meet them first, so don't give me your "e-Harmony worked for me!" bullshit. You didn't get married online, you found out that they exist and share interests with you online. Fuck you.

And another thing. If she IS scene, but has a nice personality and taste in music, then that's more than good enough for me. You see, I thought that all scene kids sucked before because anyone with any common sense knows that being a scene kid means you have to be a moron, but maybe the scene kids that you always see are the idiots and there are some underground ones that are cool. So yeah, scene kid + personality + good taste in music = weird, but a straight line is not always the shortest distance between two points. I still don't think I'd like Paramore if I gave them a chance, though. The whole pop singer singing over punk music thing and not being influenced by any real punk bands kind of just annoy me.

[parishiltonisametaphor is my favorite D4 song. Yeah, I said it.]

So yeah, this blog was about girls and music. It's what I'm good at, it's what I think the most about, and it's going to be what I write about. Do you know every song I write (save You Hurt My Feelings - emo kids, What's New? - Jews, and Get a Clue - Blue's Clues) is about girls? Or lack of girls? I'm just that lame, but lots of great bands write about girls. Green Day used to do it all of the time and they were fucking amazing. So fuck you if you don't like The Queers because they write about girls. You're a nazi.

That's all I've got today, but I think that's significant, since it was a change in the outlook in my life. Tomorrow, I either rehearse with I Forget or go watch another band rehearse and watch Step-Brothers. Either one sounds very productive, so I'm looking forward to it.


Thursday, December 11, 2008

Religion is far more a choice than sexuality

If you have a ghost living in your house, I want to make one thing crystal clear: it has every bit of right to live there as you do. Unless said ghost is gay.

Did you know that 70% of all ghosts are gay? I guess there was a really thin line between gay Christians being allowed into heaven or not, so god just left them here because he didn't know what else to do with them.

I know this one thing: I'd better quit eating my dad and Rod's food. The secret ingredient to it being so good is they put a pinch of gay in everything they make. Good thing I have a strong gay-fighting immune system. I'm still probably considered an intermediate host and I can spread gay to other people without it affecting me. Pretty scary shit, huh? Better think twice about hugging me.

I'm just kidding about that. Everyone knows that being gay is not a choice. It's an STD. That's why I sleep with glue in my asshole. Gay is the leading cause of death in the American prison system. Interestingly enough, gay cannot be spread from man to woman. Therefore, there are actually two different species of gay. The first, homo gaymanous, is the man-transferable disease. The second, homo gaywomanous, obviously is what women catch. Homo gaywomanous is actually not an STD. It's an airborne disease that usually goes away after about a week. Most people catch it in their teen years at parties, or it breaks out when they're at parties. Some believe it's a terminal disease. If that were the case, the world would be a much happier place and rednecks would be out of a job.

So maybe you're reading this and thinking, "Hey, this is very offensive. I'm gay." Well I hate to tell you this, but chances are, so is your dad. The only reason I'm not gay like my faggot dad is because he didn't get assfucked until after I was born. But apparently, my younger brother wasn't as lucky.

Why is being gay a problem? Well I think the answer is obvious. It's literally killing American families. Luckily, we have a very strategical way of getting rid of our queers here in America. Did you know they're actually one of our most profitable exports? Wondering what kind of strategy I'm talking about? Well here's how it goes:
a.) a member of congress (Senate or House) goes onto MySpace and searches the band "Coldplay" (You thought 40-Year-Old Virgin was just cracking a joke? No. It was an under-the-table agreement to disclose to the government through a punchline what the number 1 most listened to band by gays is.) and then checks their friends list.
b.) all men under 5'9 on Coldplay's friends list are then accounted for and this is when the sorting process begins.
i.) all men that have pictures with more than 5 girls and at least 3 pictures of the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders are removed from the list.
ii.) all men that have pictures with more than 10 girls and do the same pose for every one are removed from the list (regardless of the presence of Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders).
iii.) everyone else is assumed to be (and might as well be) gay.
c.) the member of congress then totals up all of the gays they've found, get their addresses, and send them invitations to the opening of a new Hollister in the largest cities of each state.
d.) their is no Hollister. There is only a trap door to a room filled with Broadway Musical handouts (to keep them quiet).
e.) the FBI then throws a signed copy of America's Next Top Model: Season 1 into the back of a truck and the gays do the work for them.
f.) the gays are then all shipped off to China, Russia, France, Belgium, Cyprus, Lebanon, and Fiji.

Think it doesn't happen? Think again. Think gays can be over 5'9? 300 was a movie and Xerxes shouldn't be questioned. Think "there aren't that many gays on Coldplays friends list"? That's our government doing an excellent job protecting the homeland.

I hope I've taught you a lot. Now do your part as an American: beat a queer, you fag-hater.

love (sexually [unless you're a queer]),

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Izatcho' ass?

There are a lot of stinky people out there. If you think about it, I'm pretty sure every group has a stinky model. So here's my list of common cliques, scenes, whatever.

-Stinky hippies. Yes, probably the most commonly known group of people that are known for smelling of dog shit. It's weird for them, though, because their reek doesn't seem to phase the general population. They still seem appealing to some people, I believe. For example, I overheard some people discussing which Grateful Dead bears they owned today. I left the room.

-Stinky rednecks. The clique that makes fun of every other clique and eventually seems to adapt their worst qualities. Some examples are: skinny jeans, mutton chops, and not bathing.

-Stinky kids. These are the kids that the Peanuts character Pigpen portrays. The ones that weren't told that bathing is an every day thing...or a thing that people should considering doing at all. Umm...some examples of what they do: smoke weed, listen to ICP, smoke lots of cigarettes, live in trailers, jump off of bridges, go to Frankfort, live across the train tracks in Keyser, don't shave their annoying facial hair, and wear the same shoes as me.

-Stinky models. As we all know, it's easier to style your hair if it hasn't been washed in a few months and armpit grease works better than any spray-on hair products.

-Stinky nerds (geeks, whatever). The kids that spend their time playing WOW and not bathing. The closest they come to washing themselves is spilling Monster energy drink on them and pissing themselves so that they don't lose their place when traveling in guilds, or whatever they're called.

-Stinky punks. Yes, another group that makes fun of a lot of other groups and is often known for hating hippies. However, there are those who still think it's not punk to wash yourself. The Leftover Crack fans (I can't remember what they call themselves. Could someone help me with this one? Are they Crusties?) I've heard in particular disapprove of bathing. Sounds like hippy ideology to me. (I do bathe, for the record, every other day.)

-Stinking Rastafarians. They just stink. Why? Because smoking weed is one of their cornerstones of their religion. It's like Jesus/smoking weed/dreadlocks/smelling bad. With a little bit of veganism thrown in.

-Stinky babies. Babies are the only clique that can get away with smelling like shit. Now, throw your tomatoes if you must and tell me that babies aren't a clique...but they're the worst of all of them! They're such a tight clique that they speak a language that only other babies can understand! What the fuck is that?! Clique.

That's all I have for today. Tried my best.


Tuesday, December 9, 2008


Fucking whores.

So I usually try to leave people be. Sure, I state my opinion a lot online and shit, but in general, I leave people to their own business as long as they leave me to mine. Well people don't like drummers very much. Especially band kids. Now if you know anything about modern-day band kids, it's no mystery to you that they 8 times out of 7 suck. For years now, they've been telling me to shut up in the band room. All this "Quit drumming. It's loud." Piccolos have the most annoying "pitch" in the fucking world. Do I say anything to them about it? No, I complain to myself. I definitely don't tell them to shut up when they're practicing or (as modern-day band kids rarely do) playing for fun. I wish the same from them. Yes, drums are loud and yes, I'm loud as well. But have some fucking respect for those who actually give a shit about their instrument and in getting better and in music.

So anyway, they've been a little better about it recently. I don't mind a "Try to play quieter," though I'd prefer them realize that I only play the drumset for as long as they warm up before rehearsal is called to order. Well today, I was playing and enjoying myself, as I almost always do when drumming (it's called artistic expression), and the band director comes in saying "This is not a rock concert," and then dubs the drum set "off limits"? I not wake my ass up earlier and hassle my aunt to pick me up a few times a week in the morning to drive my ass to school (or staying after school a few hours) for his fucking jazz band ensemble? Am I not still in his band and contributing to making it better by not saying that I want to quit next year and complain about not getting to sit on my ass all day during band? I think I pull my weight and then some. Of all the fucking people. I know how the kids in the band bitch about him playing his trumpet in his office during random times of the year (I'd be willing to play drums in his office if need be), but I stick up for his musicianship. Then he dubs the drumset "off limits." Well how the fuck am I supposed to play in his jazz band ensemble if the drumset is "off limits"? How am I going to find empathy for him playing his instrument because he enjoys it when he's telling me that all it is is a big fucking noise maker? Way to downsize your students' creativity.

I was pissed. I was being a complete bitch about it. I wanted to tell him to find himself a new drummer right there. A simple "play quieter if you can" would have done the trick. But saying something like "the drum set is off limits" in front of the whole band? Way to make me look like an ass by playing music. I'm trying to set your example of broadening your musical abilities past what's written on the music handed out and he tells me that I'm playing as if it was a "rock concert." It wasn't even like the room was empty and it was just me playing drums loudly. It was this: all of the kids were looking over scales and their music and playing parts of it (or parts of I Forget songs, as Belle often does with her free time in band) and I was playing the drum set in the back of the room. Band teachers can be the worst.

Like middle school, I was always bitched at when playing outside of the box in the steel drum ensemble, Teal Steel. Fucking Mr. Kenser always telling me that I overcomplicate things and that I should play what I want when I play with my "rock group." What does he think I Forget is? A jam band? I know what a fucking song is and I know how to drum to one. I'm not making this Teal Steel-182. Maybe I just get sick of the same 3 beats all of the time. But granted, I really did try to do too much sometimes and I've learned since then. But now I'm not doing anything to hurt the sound of ANYONE and I'm told that I'm, essentially, doing it wrong. Eat a horse dick.

On a different note in a different key, I burn my tongue fucking always. Be it soup, pizza, pizza bites, pizza crust, a pizza store, a grill, a grilled cheese sandwich, tater tots, mashed potatoes, potato soup. You fucking name it, I've burned my tongue on it. Pizza was today's curse. Guess what I'm doing tomorrow? Staying after school to play with the jazz band and eat pizza. You'd think I'd learn.

But I'm also going to my best friend (also ex-girlfriend)'s house. She needs another guitar-playing lesson because she's sick of playing The Sweater Song. I'm so proud of her. I've not decided what she needs to learn yet, but I'm thinking about it. I want her to get to being able to play powerchords, basic major chords, minor chords, and 7s. Then she can play most any I Forget song with us. I think it's badass that we've got a 1/1 boy/girl ratio but more than 2 people. That's possibly arguable, though. Some of us are less full boys and less full girls. Belle (my best friend/ex/I Forget saxophone player during and after band) definitely counts for a whole girl. She watches Sex and the City like it's jesus's return being broadcasted live or some shit. She also worries about what she's going to wear to an I Forget show weeks and/or months in advance.

You know what's funny? I was being a bitch because I was pissed about the band director calling me out, so I told Tyler to put a bigger tear in the bottom of the snare than there already was, and he was like "No, I'm not doing that!" and then he like dropped the snare onto the stand and the stand tore a bigger hole in it anyway and now it sounds just as shitty turned on as off. We both thought it was hilarious. He said "If I have another bottom snare head, I'll bring it in," and I said, "If I have one, I won't."


Monday, December 8, 2008

Tofurkey is Faux Turkey

So Parry Gripp is a genius. Who would think "Hey, I'm going to write minute at max-lengthed songs, make stupid videos for them, put those on Youtube, and sell them on iTunes?" Parry Gripp would. And what's best is that they've nothing to do with anything! Some examples of song names: Hampster on a Piano (Eating Popcorn), Chimpanzee Riding on a Segway, Young Girl Talking About Herself [my personal favorite], and Soccer Ball (In the Face). You can only guess what those songs are about.

So have you ever found yourself, for some reason or another, attracted to someone that represents like everything you oppose and despise? I have. And why? I don't know. This girl I'm thinking of I know nothing about at all and I have a feeling she'd fit the stereotypes of her obvious group if I got to meet her, but it's oh so fascinating right now for some reason. So okay, I'll go ahead and say it: she's a fucking scene kid, I'm pretty sure. I hate scene kids. Fuck scene kids. I promised that this is what I'd talk about this time. So here goes...

Scene kids suck. Why do they suck? Because the first scene kid I met was not a scene kid when I met him. The first scene kid I met was a punk kid and he got me into punk music. Yes, the infamous David Irwin who supposedly fell down a flight of stairs, busted his head open, and bled out of his brain recently, so he said. As his ex-girlfriend told me, he actually got hit over the head with a beer bottle and then kept puking and passing out, so someone called for help. Now he acts like he's retarded and doesn't remember his own mom because he thinks it's funny. What a fucking douche.

But he's not why I hate scene kids. I hate scene kids because they suck! Why do they suck? Because they do. Their scene is based off of drama and bullshit and they don't know what kind of music they like, so they go for the ones with the guys that look like scene guys in them so that they can get some dick after a show. That's what it's about. It's about how fucking uninteresting your band name is (Butter Flies in the Wind, Christmas Trees on Fire at a Hanuka Feast, I'm Sporting Yule Log), having a big close-up picture or your band's name at the top of your MySpace, having shitty emo vocals that suck, writing songs that go nowhere, and having cute little pictures under your "Members" section on MySpace. Then it's about playing shows with lots of clone bands. Then it's about getting the scene girls and guys to dance like the midgets from Wizard of Oz at your shows. I'm horrible at insults. They just suck, okay? The bands, the kids, the vocals, the calling themselves punk, the jesus floats, the dick cheese, the skunk hair, the..the...the bloodshed.

So to find someone that listens to Paramore, as she proclaims 24/7, attractive is beyond me. Hopefully this soon will pass. She wants to be my friend though. Scary...she rides my bus. Fuckin' scene kids coming to my town. I'm supposed to be outraged. I'm not a very good anarchist, as I've said.

Fuck anarchists, too. They don't do shit. They destroy public property sometimes and complain about shit. I do both of those things unconsciously. Who gives a fuck? What are they accomplishing?

So until we rebreed the punk population (which goes against anti-breed, which a lot of punks believe in), we can't do much of anything anarchist-movement-wise. No one's gonna give a shit if half a dozen kids knock over a statue of Thomas Paine.

I'd fuck Jenna Fischer in a second.

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Girls and Bands.

I can only write about girls and bands! Dammit! It's usually about how much certain bands suck and how much I suck with girls. Jesus, I hate you. Why did you make me so un-well-rounded? I don't think that three days in Hell was enough for you, was it?

Bad Flu, Jesus's Fault

It's like jesus hates my band. Not to say we haven't taken some cheap shots at him. We did claim to be better than him in a song or two. But imagine this. Life and time is a big cog wheel. Every time it turns to an opening, though, it's closed up with someone getting sick (Brittney, in this case) or with other plans getting caught up in the hole, therefore, recording time (being represented by the holes in the cog) is always passed. Now if no one in the band had a job, there wouldn't be this cog-like problem. It'd be like a tire that wore out its treads. We'd be able to go in and record at will. But jesus, remember, is having a battle with us and he's got his dad to call the shots in life. This is a fucking dictatorship for all of us.

Here's another problem in my life: I don't know what I think about bands like Fall Out Boy and Simple Plan that are like...kind of really lame "punk" and that kind of give punk a bad face, yet they kind of keep, in a very poor way, the media from being completely eaten by bands like Hinder and Nickelback. They also know what punk is, I'm pretty sure. Simple Plan loves Bad Religion and used to tour with the likes of Pennywise and Ten Foot Pole in a band before Simple Plan. Fall Out Boy are huge Jawbreaker fans. So it's's relativity, okay? Yes, when offered a Toys That Kill album and a Fall Out Boy album, I'd take Toys That Kill. But if it's Fall Out Boy or Nickelback, I'd kill the person offering me albums for assuming for a minute that I'd want anything to do with a Nickelback album. Same goes for the earth moves at 9,000 miles a...minute I want to say? around the sun but I walk do the street at 4 miles an hour and the car goes past me in the opposite direction at 55 miles per hour plus the 4 I'm approaching it at, making it 59 miles per hour. Relativity, you know.

On that topic, Billie Joe Armstrong of Green Day REALLY knows where punk can be found. In a recent interview I watched (I was in a Green Day interviews on Youtube buzz), Billie Joe was saying how hip hop is kicking rock's ass. He said it's all going to shit unless you go underground, where he cited Dillinger Four being a kickass band. You can't say that Dillinger Four is a great punk band if you know nothing about punk, the way I see it. He also mentioned bands like No Means No and how Hefe is an amazing guitarist and musician. I think Green Day is punk, they just do it in a different way. I don't agree with the whole playing on TRL thing (which had its last show today [insert celestial chorus here]) and I thought the eyeliner was a little too far, but I do believe that American Idiot was a geniunely good album and has more punk in it than 99% of everything else mainstream. Green Day was my gateway drug to punk with The Offspring, so I'm going to forever back them up the best I can. Go ahead and say that you're more punk than me for it, see what I care.

Okay, here's something you can suck my dick to: I've been into punk since 5th grade. Now I didn't plan for this to be a blog about punk stuff, but this is where it's going, I suppose. Sure, I was never around to hear F.Y.P while they actually played as F.Y.P and John Samson hadn't been with Propagandhi for like 10 years, but do you really expect me, living in a redneck area and having a redneck family, to start listening to punk music when I'm still sucking my mom's tit? That's what Phil Colins and Genesis was for.

Truth was, I hated AFI the first time I heard them...and the second time, and the thousandth time. Why? My sister was obsessed. She sang "Cereal Wars" in the most annoying tone at the dinner table all of the time. I don't remember how she got into AFI, but it was probably because of David Irwin, who listened to punk at the time (he's now a scene bitch, sad but true). I got into NOFX because he'd made her a mix CD and Perfect Government was on it. I found Punk in Drublic in the used CDs section at the local FYE and I bought it because I'd heard that song and liked it, but I didn't see it's name on the back, I just thought "Hey, if I liked that song, I should like their other songs," which SHOULD be the case for every band, but it doesn't usually work that way, apparently. You see, that's why punk is the best (for me). They make records with more than one good song. Yes, Dinosaurs WILL Die. Anyway, I got Punk In Drublic after that. My sister had gotten Dookie at a yardsale and I'd bought Americana at Walmart one day because I'd been told that Pretty Fly was a good song. One thing leads to another, I read the acknowledgments at the end of the record sleeves and find out what other bands I should listen to. And then the day comes around that I'm listening to Toys That Kill. If you could draw a diagram of how every punk band is related, it definitely would not be just a straight line with some outlying dots. I can't even come up with a witty model it'd look like with words. But now that I know the routes and all, I can tell you, "Well it's as simple as this. You could go from Green Day to Pinhead Gunpowder to Dillinger Four because they did a split together and then to Toys That Kill because D4 and TTK are good friends and had a DVD or some shit like that." It's an art, I'm pretty sure.

Anyway, there's more to being punk than liking punk bands. I guess when it comes down to it, I'm not really that punk. I abide by the law all of the time, I do wonderfully in school, I've never destroyed a scupture or monument. I'm very pro-gay and anti-religion and all of those things, but you can't do a whole lot about that around here. If I told anyone that I support gays and that I live with my dad and his boyfriend, they'd shoot another hole in my bathroom window and burn down my house. If I speak against religion, which I still do, I get a bunch of close-minded assholes and no positive reactions. However, something beautiful happened around this time last year. Perhaps it was because I and my girlfriend at the time openly opposed Christianity, but anyway, another girl in our Driver's Ed class asked us something relating to religion and about how she was considering how Christianity has some definite flaws. Everyone else in the class immediately started telling us to read a bible, but she seemed to be very sure that what she was questioning was in her full right to question. So maybe I can't always start big pro-gay or anti-religion movements, but I'm always here to support those that are with me on it. I don't know what all punk is or what you have to do to be punk, but I try my best and agree with most every punk belief and view. It's a scene I can believe in and it's a very fun scene without a tolerance for drama. I'm too politically correct to be punk, too. Look at how I try to leave plenty of room for other people's opinions as I type this. Oh well, sue me.

Scene kids fucking suck. That's my next rant unless something else comes up.


Saturday, December 6, 2008

I stole this from myself

The following is something I posted on my MySpace last night before I got this account. I personally saw it as a milestone in my blogging. I've felt that the rest I've posted I can't relate to 3 days after posting them because they were mostly about how apathetic I am after being faced with the truth of every girl I like not liking me and/or about how shitty...this horrible, horrible, horrible song on TV has interrupted my line of thought. I'm pretty sure it's Hinder, but I will ask no questions. It has just been varified to me that it IS Hinder. Godammit. Anyway, this blog touches on bands like Hinder.

In a world where language is dying. In a world where music only lives until it finds money. In a world where musical talent is defined by how accurately you can hit 5 buttons. In a world where not being yourself is the cool thing to do...

I need to find some peace.

In George Orwell's book, 1984, they had a slogan consisting of three theories, if you will, that seem to oddly make a lot of sense. Those three theories were:


Allow me to explain to the best of my ability...

War is Peace is a theory that states that during war, the government of a country at war can do things that it, in normal conditions, wouldn't be able to get away with, such as "rooting out traitors." Therefore, they are more easily able to get rid of the troublemakers. An example of this is that during World War I, people opposing the war could be punished by law. Let me remind you that that is a direct act against the Bill of Rights.

Ignorance is Strength is the theory stating that if the people of a country or the people under any rule remain ignorant and ask no questions that the governing leaders have the power to justify whatever they want. An example is that if a Middle Eastern country attacks our country, we have the power to attack ANY Middle Eastern country, regardless of whether or not they had anything to do with the attack.

Freedom is Slavery is the theory stating that our freedoms and natural rights are to be seen as privileges and we are never going to be good enough to deserve those freedoms. I don't think I need an example for this one, it seems to be pretty self-explanatory.
These might not apply 100% of the time in our current time and you may not agree with any of them, but I definitely see some parallels and some logic behind it. I would like to add a couple more, if I may.


Mediocrity is Talent is my theory that, as Against Me! said best first, "Mediocrity Gets You Pears." For instance, music. Music seems to live until it meets money. It would seem to me, for the most part, that the longer a band is on a major label, the less they sound like themselves and the more they sound like a radio-friendly ideal. It's not about what you make, it's about what you sell. Songs and bands are made in the same way that modern appliances are made: they are to last long enough for you to buy them and then want another one because the last one you bought no longer works. Can modern rock ever be known as classic rock or is it just a fad? Furthermore, certain genres of music are made for certain times in a person's life. Rock is for listening to in your car, country is for being with your girlfriend or for losing your girlfriend, reggae is for getting high, hip hop is for dancing dirty with your friends and sometimes for your car, and jazz is just a made-up concept. Acoustic guitars are furniture. Drum sets are movie set scenery. MySpace is for song plays. It's more impressive to watch you play "expert" level on games like Guitar Hero or Rock Band than to watch you actually play guitar or your band. Writing the same song over and over again is the best way to getting money. It's easier for listeners to catch on that way.

Communication is Suppression is my theory that the more we're able to always be "connected," the less connected we really are to the people around us. Cell phone texts come before talking to the person to which you are walking and talking. Talking online constitutes for your need social involvement. Our ways of communication also suppress our ability to write in our native language. The importance of grammar and spelling is quickly dissolving. Even in the book 1984, they talked about the destruction of English. There was a department in the government that eliminated more and more words in the English vocabulary every year. The new language they were creating was called "Newspeak," as opposed to traditional English, which was "Oldspeak." However, we don't need a department in the government to do that to our language. We're doing it ourselves. Adjectives take up too much time and text message characters to use.

However, I do sometimes believe that we're still somehow moving in the right direction overall. This country seems to be in a new progressive era. We recently passed a huge milestone in electing a black man as our president. That is more than significant no matter who you voted for or would have voted for. My faith in the country has been renewed, and I'm giving it a second chance. I believe that equal rights for gays will be the next to come. So maybe mainstream music is not my thing, but works for a lot of people...and maybe texting isn't for me but a lot of people find entertainment in it. But at least I can still find some peace in those who agree with me.


Heads Up

This is my needless-to-say post that will make me look like more of a poseur than if I said nothing, but I find it somehow necessary (in my obsessive compulsive ways). That equally as unimportant introductory sentence as this post is unimportant being said, I don't give a dead moose's last shit what kind of shit people want to throw at me for expressing my feelings. Consider this a disclaimer...or that warning screen that came up on VHS tapes that you could fast-forward through that you can't skip on DVDs. Yes, I do listen to Propagandhi and yes, that old song they have is what I, though slightly modified, ripped off for my blog name. And yes, I started this because Brendan Kelly writes excellent blogs on this same site.

I'll post blogs whenever I feel like, so if I happen to get any followers one day, let that be a further warning. A footnote to a footnote. A toenote, if you will.