Thursday, January 8, 2009

Divine bunch of bullshit

Thank you God I don't really believe in for giving me everything I asked for and for now contemplating taking it away. Guess I'm the one who looks like an ass here. I have no arguments on why it shouldn't happen the way it may or why it should, I just have bitter feelings towards it all. I'm not going to play Mr. Self-Righteous, either. Fuck it all.

Aside from hearing that Katie is going to miss my birthday party because her hair appointment was secretly a meeting with a school counselor because her grandma wants her to move back, my day and week was pretty awesome. Goddammit, and I only sound selfish for this. See? This is why I hate religion. I get all of these wonderful gifts in my life and when one might go away or does and I am upset about it, I'm a greedy sinner instead of someone who feels a loss. Sure, I had an excellent Christmas with my parents who are both still alive and all of my siblings that are alive and well and I live in a heated house, am very gifted in what I love, and can do almost anything I want. But umm...this genuinely hurts to be a part of, this whole "moving away" thing. Fuck you if you think I'm ungrateful. And yeah, if she moves away, I have to accept that and go back to my life of sitting at home every day wishing I was doing something with someone else. Or I could get a job and a car and get out there in life and pursue a dream or something. Hah.

Is it unfair? Ehhh. Am I complaining about it more than I wanted? Ehhh. Do I think I have reason to be upset? Ehhh. I need a different topic.

So I have a birthday coming up this weekend, as I mentioned lightly before. I'm already 17, but this is the time to "celebrate," and by "celebrate," I mean that I Forget's going to play loudly in my basement for my friends and then we're going to sleep on the floor. Those are the only two certain things and neither of those are written in stone. Everything else is up to the beauty of improvisation.

My dad's here. I'll pick up on this in a few.

Okay. The reader(s) of this won't understand that I haven't written anything in like 2 or 3 hours on here. I'm kind of done talking, though. My inspiration is gone.


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