Sunday, February 1, 2009

Is this a huge, sick joke?

Okay, I went upstairs for literally like 7 minutes and when I got back, Timmy had messaged me on MSN saying that his girlfriend just broke up with him. What the fuck? He went to bed before I could talk to him about it, but I don't think he'd joke about that. Is this a sign that February is going to suck, too? Who the fuck won the Super Bowl? Why do I care?

It was the Steelers, I just found out. At least more people at school will be in a good mood tomorrow, but what the fuck is up with this Timmy getting broken up with thing? I have a problem with this. I mean, I've kind of felt like shit for a few weeks now because the girl I like(d) has completely quit talking to me and that's depressing enough to handle with, then I just finished reading The Metamorphosis which was also fucking depressing, and then Timmy told me his girlfriend broke up with him! God, I am not going to crack and try to kill myself tonight if that's what you're going for. This has taken me passed depressed and to the point of being irritated. What the fuck is up with this? Are feelings of being loved all false? Are we outside of an inside joke? Is there this huge "Let's make nice guys happy and then crush them" conspiracy? And what's worse is that there's been no warning! Maybe there was for Tim, but I haven't heard anything about it. He just kind of sprung that on me. I won't even say her name because I know so little about this situation that I'm not going to disclose anything other than Timmy got broken up with seemingly out of nowhere.

I don't know what's going to happen next. Is my stepsister going to break up with her boyfriend who came all the way out here from Altoona and spend the entire weekend with her and waited for her while she was at work all evening with a family that he doesn't know? I sure hope not, because they're one of the few truly happy couples I've seen in a while, and maybe it's because they're fresh and new to it, but I think it's beautiful. I would kill for a girl that would be willing to come to see me from two and a half hours away for the weekend and wait for me to get done whatever I have to do on my own time and stay with my crazy family while she waited. I can't even fathom that at this point, but it's beautiful to me. So if one of them breaks up with the other, I'm going to be very upset.

Is this somehow tied to the economy? With less faith in money, do we lose faith in each other? I'm certainly feeling like I'm heading towards a depression. Come on, this one's easy to fix. Love, people. Fucking love the fuck out of the ones that love the fuck out of you. And when times are hard, love them even more. This is no time to give up.

Okay, so on a happier note (I really, REALLY need some of these right now), I went back to the studio today and rerecorded some drum tracks, so I guess I wasn't really done recording drums when I told you last week. And I'm only going to rerecord more tomorrow, so we've still got a way to go. However, we're rerecording because Jason has figured out a mic set up that makes the drums sound huge and amazing. So when we finish up, it's gonna be well worth it. You see? I'm holding onto what I love and that is my band and my music. I just really wish I Forget could hold me.

Okay, so I should probably get to bed, but I'm going to bed disturbed by this cruel world. Oh, a month ago, I was happier than I'd been in like probably 18 months, though. That's depressing and inspiring at the same time, I think. Depressing that it's gone and inspiring that it can happen. I have some Trig homework to finish up...


1 comment:

la.belle.rebelle said...

I know this isn't exactly fitting, but I thought it kind of worked and that it just might make you giggle: