Quit saying that!!

I goddamn hate looking back at my blog posts and seeing me mention Katie's name. For one, I hate her actual first name. It's fucking annoying. I hate saying it. I hate typing it. No offense to her, I just don't like the ringing of her name, but I do like the person who it represents, so it doesn't really bother me to say it. However, reading back over it just like glancing through the pages....that's fucking terrible. Just terrible. I feel like I sound like a brainwashed douchebag or like I'm always bitching. Maybe if she was my actual girlfriend I'd feel better about mentioning her--that I'd feel I had some right to mention her name instead of just fooling myself. I don't know, I'll work on that and see how it goes over. Katie Mullan, if you still read this blog, I hope you don't take it personally. You don't like your first name, either. I know too many Katie's.

Anyhow, not to change the subject, but I spent this evening throwing hay bales off a truck. And in return, I got $5 and my mom to say, "Your [Rise Against and Rancid] ticket is paid for." That's right. I'm seeing Rise Against, Rancid, and Billy Talent after all. How do I feel about that? Well I've been saying I want to go to a show and not worry about the music and just mosh, so this might be my perfect opportunity.

My mom has this conditional stupid accent when she talks to rednecks. She was doing it today while we were making hay and talking to this guy who was helping. The whole time I was thinking, "Quit it. You don't really talk like that." And there they were talking about what goat meat tastes like. For real? Are you seriously going to stand there and compare what goat tastes like to other things? Lord, my mom belongs here. How sad...

I have had nothing insightful to say lately. Things with my dad are going well. I had a great weekend. Katie Mullan needs to come back here because I'm leaving this Friday for a week. I'm seeing my psychologist in the morning and supposedly meeting up with Krystal and Timmy for Taco Bell. I'm also supposed to clean the windows in the living room for money. I decided earlier this week that it's wise to keep track of what I am doing each day on here because if I lose something and forget where I was or what I did, I won't be able to trace my steps as easily. Like last Monday I lost my keys and all I remember doing is going to the dentist in the morning. Anyone know what I did last Monday?

I really don't want to do band. Why? Because all of my friends quit save Belle and Caleb, for one. Another important reason is that high school band is not a place for musicians. There's no praise for practicing when everyone else is fooling around and talking. There's a shit ton of "QUIT PLAYING! WE'RE TIRED OF HEARING YOU PLAY!" though. That's no fun. Plus being in band is forfeiting both the last month of your short summer vacation and also every weekend in the fall. Paint It Black and Naked Raygun are playing on 9-11. If you're in band, you can't go to that because you have a football game to play at on some random-ass field. Not fun. Fall used to be my favorite season. Fall to me is now marching band season. It's not here for me to enjoy. It's here to dread. That's no fun. Not fun. Remind me one more time why I should want to play in band. One more thing! I have had to cancel potentially really good gigs with I Forget multiple times before for band. And band camp blows.

Anyone know how to contact someone who isn't responding to texts without seeming like a pest? Should I just back the fuck off? I need advice hardcore. Or maybe I need to read my own preachings and chill the fuck out. Yessssss. Okay. Let's try this again...

love,
Kyle