Saturday, April 11, 2009

Beautiful. Wonderful. American Holidays.

I was recently asked how I've been "enjoying" my "spring break." I replied saying that I've been spending it religiously by going to church a whole bunch of times which, I said, is cool and all...if you're religious....which I am not. Therefore, I determined, it's kind of a waste of my time and a pain in my ass. If, in fact, I ever return to Christianity (which I don't foresee happening), it will not be due to an epiphany reached by attending church. I could more easily enlighten myself by reading a book, researching some topic on the internet, or listening to music.

My mom is upstairs fighting with her husband and my brother saying that she'll just go to church tonight by herself because she doesn't feel like fighting with any of us. I haven't said a negative thing about it because for one, I respect my mom's belief that it is her duty to raise me to the best of her abilities and in any way she feels will help me grow up to be a better person and two, fighting about it gets you nowhere (as my brother demonstrates every Saturday evening and Sunday morning). This is a typical holiday in my family. I'm sure it's a typical holiday in many people's families.

Guitar on the album is almost finished. We actually went in and recorded today with very limited interruptions. It was the most productive two hours I think we've ever spent in the studio recording guitars. Brittney and I have decided that we want another guitarist preferably to play lead and solo with a background in punk since the more difficult stuff we have to play is speed-punk-based. Brittney kinda BS's the parts live but on the album, she has to play the real precision-based guitar parts...well, precisely. She never wanted to be a lead guitarist, she just wanted to sing, write, and play some rhythm guitar for a band. So if you're a punk-influenced and well-rounded guitarist who'd like to play lead for I Forget, let me know. "Punk-influenced" does not mean "I listen to Metallica and they like The Misfits."

Speaking of telling you about the album, I posted a bulletin today and I was kind of proud of the contents of it. I'm posting it here mostly so that I'll have it forever to look back upon.

Well, my friends, we lost the election....I mean we did it!

We reached 50,000 plays today! You know what that means: we're halfway to a tenth of a million plays! So we're a twentieth of a million plays through. So do what you did from the time we started our MySpace and put music up until now again TWENTY TIMES and we'll have a million. Simple. See, then I'll want a billion, though I don't think any band has done that yet. Maybe I'm wrong, though. Huh...anyway, thanks for letting me be your distanced authority figure that can never be satisfied. I used to have one of those....I think they called him "God."

Oh! And uhh...we've started recording our new album! Expect it to be called "Cunts, Blunts, and Deer Hunts" or something like that.See, that way, you won't be disappointed when you find out that that's really the album title!

Also expect 34 songs to appear on our new CD.We'll also have a centerfold-type record sleeve with all of us naked covered in horseshoe crabs with a caption saying "This doesn't even need a caption, but WE HABBA CRABS!"

Oh, and we're heading towards this kinda new-wave Guttermouth/Pink Floyd/As Blood Runs Black/Simon and Garfunkle kind of sound. Can you imagine that? You won't have to when the album comes out! Expect to hear more trombone than drum set, more tambourine than rhythm guitar, more dead space than music, and more sounds of rodents having sex than dead space. I'm estimating it to clock in around 85 minutes. If you play it backwards, we're gonna be sure it says "Bob Dole should have been elected president of the US and since he wasn't, he should have been adopted by the Russians to be sent into space with the monkeys to breed and start a new colony on Mars. Since none of the aforementinoed happened, I'm going to go to the house of everyone who voted against Bob Dole and steal both their dogs and newest pair of shoes. However, those who voted for Bob Dole will awaken to the sound of us gutting them because they were the ones with the power to influence and didn't do their part well enough. Fucking communists."

Kyle "

Sometimes when you feel like you've got something to say, you have to say it regardless of whether or not you know what you really have to say. Then again, lots of people in history have gotten killed for doing just that. Doing the opposite of what I just stated is often referred to as "keeping your mouth shut." I'm not very good at that. Which reminds me...

I don't want someone operating on me when they're considered a "practicing doctor." I want them to know damn well what they're doing when they cut me open and move shit around. Pfftt. Practice. Maybe I just don't know all of the meanings of that word. I Forget doesn't know any meaning of that word.

Steve Irwin, you know? Deja vu. Did I post something before saying "deja vu" and mention Steve Irwin? It'd be interesting if I did. When I sensed deja vu, I was reminded of Steve Irwin, so I said it, you know? I'm sure you don't. I won't even know what I meant by any of that when I look back on it in 3 days.

Caleb and Jimmy made this and it's fucking hilarious:

Maybe only my friends will get it, but then again, who the hell else reads this?


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