It's Christmas time again

Yeah, it's Christmas, I'm up at 2:30 AM and no one is up to keep me company. No one but my very faithful blog! Always there for me and never complains when I vent to it! Well blog, I'm sorry, but nothing in particular is bothering me in life! Remember last year at this time? I was writing to you about the only person that I now am not cool with and that is Katie Mullan. Well, I guess I'm not cool with her boyfriend or Ginger Berry, either, but I never did give much of a shit for either of them. That being said, a lot of change has happened in the past year, huh? This is like a landmark for my blog...this whole month of December. I get to December and it's like a checkpoint. If I fuck up now, I can revert to December! That is not true or I'd have done it in February of this year! Trust me, there are so many times I'd have jumped off the stage to go back to the checkpoint of December but that isn't actually how life works.

Anyway, it's Christmas 2009! Why am I talking about 2008?! That year has sailed! Fuck, 2009 has basically sailed! All of the pregnant mothers that want their babies to board the 2009 ship are pushing them out and throwing them onto the deck as it sails away! That is a good image! So did I think 2009 was a good year overall? I honestly could have done without a good chunk of it, but overall, yes. I have matured as a young man! I now have a thick coat of hair on my chest and back. That is not true, thankfully. And I am much happier with the catalogue of bands I've seen this year. I need to work on my catalogue of bands I've shared a stage with, but that will hopefully come in this next year as I graduate high school and move on to adulthood...which technically comes in ten days when I become eighteen. First thing I'm doin' is going to school, but when I get the chance, I'm buying spray paint and going to a strip club. Spray paint them titties!

Christmas, though! It's here! Like it or not! Didn't have a tree at my mom's for the first time ever. Big fuckin' snowstorm kinda ruined that. I may never go to church again. At least not the church here in LaVale. Now that I'm almost 18, I have the option. But there might be one more Sunday with my mom by the time I turn 18. Damn. Almost in the clear! When I'm 18, I'll really do a "Kyle's Life in Review" segment of this blog. I'll review the number of cars and jobs I've had. Those are some big numbers we're talkin'. But though I'm headin' for that adult crash, I know I'm still a minor at heart. And after all, I'm gonna stay young 'till I die. Is that enough '80s hardcore references for you?

I will tell yall 'bout the gifts I receive after I receive them. Thus far, I've gotten $70, a free movie ticket, a hemp long-sleeved shirt, and some other miscellaneous goodies from my aunt Cris. If I'd go to sleep, the rest of my stuff will arrive much sooner. We may be getting up at 4 AM to open presents due to an oncoming freezing rain storm we wish to miss. In that case, I'd get an hour and 14 minutes sleep if I fell asleep this very second. I'll try that.

love,
Kyle

Top 10, Part I

This is going to take a while and I'm gonna have to come up with more categories and top things, so I'm gonna split it all up into a few posts that will last a couple of days. First and foremost, top 10 albums, I guess. This is going to be difficult.

1. Propagandhi - Supporting Caste
2. Dead to Me - African Elephants
3. American Steel - Dear Friends and Gentle Hearts
4. Banner Pillot - Collapser
5. Teenage Bottlerocket - They Came From the Shadows
6. Cobra Skulls - American Rubicon
7. Anti-Flag - The People or the Gun
8. Big D and the Kids Table - Fluent in Stroll
9. The Lawrence Arms - Buttsweat and Tears
10. Paint It Black - Amensia and Surrender

Some of those could be switched, but that's a good list of new albums I dug this year. Here's a list of other albums I really dig that I've recently found and that aren't new (at least, I don't think any of them are) OR new albums that didn't make my top 10 simply because I didn't think of them and stuff:

• The Creepshow - Sell Your Soul
• Billy Talent - Billy Talent II
• The Draft - In a Million Pieces
• Empire! Empire! (I Was a Lonely Estate) - What It Takes to Move Forward
• The Dwarves - The Dwarves Must Die
• Dear Landlord - Dream Homes
• The Flatliners - Cynics
• Weezer - Raditude
• Frenzal Rhomb - Forever Malcolm Young
• The Get Up Kids - Guilt Show
• Smoking Popes - Stay Down
• The Living End - Modern Artillery
• Millencolin - Kingwood
• The Menzingers - Hold On Dodge and A Lesson in the Abuse of Information Technology
• One Man Army - Rumors and Headlines
• Only Crime - Virulence
• Paint It Black - everything they've made
• Refused - The Shape of Punk to Come
• The Adolescents - The Adolescents
• 7 Seconds - Take It Back, Take It On, Take It Over!

There has been a lot of new music I've been discovering in the past year, as you can tell. And those are just ones that really stuck out to me. I know I have to be forgetting stuff just when I make that. This was also the year that I saw some awesome bands. Truly. So here's a top ten of best performances I've seen:

1. Alkaline Trio - flawless performance, great spirits, best set list on earth. Best BAND on earth. AND they're totally the nicest guys ever.
   
2. Dillinger Four - for that Baby Batman joke and for being hilarious and fun as shit.
   
3. The A.K.A.s (Are Everywhere!) - for Mike Ski and Chachi. Mike Ski is funny as shit and has the most charisma I've ever seen in a singer. He also did some great jumps and Chachi is a fun drummer to watch. The whole band works great together.
   
4. Propagandhi - for being Propagandhi and being able to play those songs flawlessly. And also for Dan Yemin from Paint It Black singing "Fuck the Border." I will never forget that.
   
5. Paint It Black - for being the best hardcore band on earth and proving it on stage.
   
6. No Doubt - for a very well choreographed show and that awesome way of introducing the band members and for that solo the guitarist did on that classical guitar that just sat in the middle of the stage.
   
7. blink-182 - for coming back and kicking some ass and being as hilarious as on any album.
   
8. Rise Against - for playing a really great setlist regardless of the new songs and for having so much energy. Also for Tim taking me back to Paint It Black when he sang "State of the Union."
   
9. Billy Talent - this could be solely for "Red Flag" and "Fallen Leaves." Excellent band. Just as good live.
   
10. Saves the Day - totally blew me away with "What Went Wrong." Also, their black bassist was fun to watch, though he and their left-handed drummer very recently quit. Also a great band.
    

I'm a little biased for some of them, but that Alkaline Trio show blew my mind. Honorable mention goes to Paramore for that guy flipping over top of that other guy while they both had guitars on. Also, Weezer was great. I may have liked Weezer better if Pat Wilson would have drummed more.

And here's a list of my favorite I Forget moments of the year:

1. Playing the FYE show to 600 or so people.
2. Playing at a completely packed Warren a few weeks ago.
3. Trying to record the stutter in "Great Smile."
4. Bringing Brandon over to rehearse at Jason's.
5. Writing new songs with lead parts.
6. Playing at Tuscarora Ruritan and having people mosh to "You Suck."
7. Playing with The Sheckies and having Andy Social sing "The Monster Mash" with us.
8. Playing with Freaky J and the Bears and watching them progress.
9. Playing with The Vankills and laughing and singing "Leave It Alone" with them.
10. Denny's.

I hope you enjoyed reading this. I'll talk about some movies I enjoyed and shit later. Maybe some all-time favorite moments of the year. Who knows?! If you want to comment, I'll take suggestions!

love,
Kyle

SHIT SHIT SHIT

Show's canceled. Topic of the day. Postponed, but whatever. It still kinda sucks. It really sucks. Pros-cons list! GO! Starting with cons.

Cons:
-I have been working my ass off trying to make sure this goes smoothly since it was first brought up and now I'm gonna have to work it off some more to make sure it still goes smoothly.
-Joey, our sound guy, will be going back to college after this break and will not be able to supply us with sound when we reschedule it.
-Along with Joey, a lot of people that were going to come see us were going to be home for the holidays from college and will not be able to come out when we reschedule it.

Pros:
-Brittney will be able to get an entire day off and be able to see the whole show. Also, she will have a ride, since her car is snowed in in South Cumberland right now.
-I'll have access to my Christmas presents which will enhance the sound and performance of the show potentially.
-Anyone snowed it will be able to come when it's rescheduled.
-We can possibly get ahold of some more speakers and hopefully find an ample power source for them.
-Both bands will get some more time to rehearse.

So it mostly sucks, but we'll be better prepared. I'd rather have just gone out tomorrow and played raw and unprepared. Those shows are sometimes the best. Anyway, I'm gonna try to go to Alex's later. And I don't have to do that homework yet. And I will have more time to make shirts. Those are good things.

Maybe next time, kids. Christmas in a few days.

love,
Kyle

Christmas has never felt colder

The year in review is coming up soon. Everyone's doing it. That means album reviews, life choices reviews, all of that other stuff. I'll compare how I feel about myself now to how I felt about myself last year at this time. I've had this blog for like a year now, so I can start doing stuff like that.

This show at the high school is going to be huge. Biggest show the school's ever seen, I promise you. This isn't no fuckin' Apollo/terrible Christian band show. This is fuckin' I Forget/Dogjaw. That's class A. We got security hired, we got a sound guy, we'll have like 6 speakers, giant bass subs, an I Forget banner, merch, micked amps, and lights! Fuckin' lights! We have NEVER had lights! We also are going to have hundreds of people coming to see US. Not coming to get Twilight! Not coming to do some other shit. Hundreds to see US and DOGJAW! That is fucking awesome. I am super stoked. The only thing that could ruin this would be if it snowed. Well, a lot of things could ruin it. Someone could get sick, someone could die, whatever. But I'm worried about snow the worst at this point.

My mom went to LaVale and I opted to stay here instead of getting stuck out there in the snow. I'd much rather get stuck at home. Here I can walk around naked, turn my music up, stay up late, eat whenever I'm hungry, and just all-around do what I want and not worry about Zane being fucking annoying! Tomorrow, I plan on getting stuck feeding all of the animals and not being able to go anywhere. This shit's gonna keep on falling.

Anyway, I'm gonna leave now and reflect on my life up to this point. I've got no real news to present other than I'm stoked for this show and not so stoked for this snow.

love,
Kyle

In other news

My great grandma, Grandma Warnick, died earlier this week. She was 93. All of her friends had died. She lived at home alone for a long time. She was put in a funeral about a week before she died. She was ready to leave this earth. Who knows where she is now? We will or will not find out one day.

Today was the last day of College English. That meant I had to turn in my final portfolio or else I'd fail the class quite miserably. Grandma Warnick's funeral was today. I missed it to turn in my final portfolio. There is something wrong with the school system. But...that's life. All I did in school today was turn in that portfolio. The teachers are all getting that Christmas-is-almost-here syndrome. I have a hugeass AP Biology test on Monday and I'm going to do poorly on it as always. That's stressful to think about. I sleep in that class too much. Entirely too much. I cannot stay awake through notes, though. It's that room or something. And the tone of peoples' voices when they're trying to explain how things work...I can't stay awake. If people have the tone used in conversation or something, I canNOT sleep. Like if a TV show is on and even if it's something I hate, I usually keep my ears open too much to fall asleep. Anyway, that's neither here nor there.

My drums are still at the high school. If I Forget wants to rehearse, they're fucked. I'm fucked, rather. We have a hugeass show coming up. So rehearsal would probably be a good idea, eh? I even bought a ton of supplies for it and I'm ready to make more CDs and t-shirts. Alex even made me that wonderful design that everyone seems to hate. Maybe we should just make it our album cover and still call the album Everyone Sharts. That'd sail smoothly.

Tim said he wants to make a shirt with a huge dick hitting the Twin Towers that says, "We got fucked." THAT is class!

Anyway, I'm still excited about this show. It's gonna be the shits. Kayla and Tabitha are going to change the sign at the bottom of the hill announcing the concert and I Forget and Dogjaw playing. That's like our first marquee. Lots of people coming to this show, too. I knew it would be huge if we had it at the high school.

I can't think of anything else going on. I may be going to see a movie with Kylie tomorrow. And Brittney is busy all weekend, I think. I need to make a huge I Forget banner for the show. I have a lot of shit to do, I guess. I'm gonna get off of here and watch The Office that I missed last night. Oh yeah, I played with the jazz band last night. That was fun.

love,
Kyle

Now I know how Michael Burkett Feels

Just a forward....this is all taken from a MySpace bulletin I wrote. I have had quite the evening discussing the politics behind a t-shirt design Alex made for I Forget. I thought it was rather harmless and thought more people would understand the lightness I was giving to the subject. Also, the title is from a Kenny Chesney song. Michael Burkett is Fat Mike. I now know why he so often takes the time to explain what he meant by certain things, though I'm sure he, like me, probably meant NOTHING in what he said.

I have been catching a lot of shit for this t-shirt design.



Now the initial responses to this are either a good, hardy laugh, or a gasp and a long lecture about how disappointed they are in me and how inappropriate the shirt is. Why is this? Well, you see planes hitting a tower and you say, "No, I DON'T forget! You assholes!" Well, yeah. That's kind of a really offensive thing to imply. To be completely honest, the design was mostly just a dick thing to say in a sarcastic way. Of course we know it was tragic. No one is denying that. I'm not even implying that I believe it was an inside job, people died for no reason, or whatever. If ANYTHING, it's kind of making fun of ourselves. Okay? But maybe you are too easily offended and need the hidden meaning? Okay, well let's say this. You remember September 11th, 2001? What happened? Two planes hit the Twin Towers in New York City. I'm pretty sure we can all agree on at least that. Also, we can all agree that a lot of people died. Right? So forgetting about that would be kind of ignorant, eh? Okay, that's true. Now let's wonder for a second...what if we're not that heartless and there's something else? Does anyone remember what happened after the tragedy? Anyone? I'm not talking about going to war in the middle east for oil or what have you. I'm talking about that unity that this country found. How all of America came together as one. Didn't we FORGET about that? What happened? Now we're more divided than ever, I think. That is what I Forget.

Or on a lighter level, the design makes an I F in a shadow and if anyone hasn't noticed, that is the initials of I Forget. And I Forget is our band name. Pretty simple, I'd say. Who's gonna cast the first stone? Any suggestions as to how to make that more obvious? Am I un-American now for having a t-shirt design?

love,
Kyle

Little blue ethernet cable

Some folks don't enjoy the finer things in life. What do I mean by that? It just sounded good at the time. I'm sure I could make it mean something, but I don't REALLY feel like it. I just got word on the release date of the new Alkaline Trio album. "This Addiction" it is called. I'd put it in italics as it SHOULD be, but Blogger is not allowing me right now. Anyhow, February 23rd. That is the day of my salvation. That is when Matt Skiba comes down from heaven(s) (get it? that band he used to be in?) and gives me a wonderful Alkaline Trio album that I've been patiently awaiting for. And if I'm lucky, it will be solid the whole way through. We will keep our fingers crossed.

Christmas is a'comin. Nick's maybe getting himself a girl. How about that? Maybe Matt Skiba really IS coming back to save us all. Apocalypse much? I have lived. Also, it seems to me that most everyone in our little "guild" is succeeding with the women. Will things go wrong for Nick? You bet your ass I'll make sure it does.

In other news, we have a show coming up at the school? What kind of a show, you may ask? Well it involves three women and a rhinocerus. Ponder over that for a little while. After that's through, I Forget and Dogjaw MAY perform. That's a big if for the moment. I'll be there, though. I don't even know what's going to happen with the women. We're just putting them in a cage with a rhino and seeing where it goes.

Jazz band calls. Peace, yo.

love,
Kyle

The end.

It's finally over. Dude, we're finally landing! Does this really need an introduction? You'll figure this out.


Katie: Idk what the fuck your telling your friends, but I thought me and you were completely fine. You need to get your shit straight and im done with you. Your friendship obviously is pointless when your having nick say shit like that to me.

Kyle: What did Nick say to you?

Katie: "Why did you lead Kyle on like that? Are u aware that you're a bitch? Seriously, can u keep your legs closed long enough to have a meaningful relationship?"

"Or do you fuck any guy you're close to? You're a complete waste of time. You're worthless.”

I would like to know when I became a slut, especially since the whole time we were talking, we never even kissed. And fuck you if your telling him that I have been leading you on. You know I have a boyfriend!

Kyle: He went a little overboard didn’t he? I didn’t tell him to say any of that. He doesn’t really have any idea of what hes talking about. And you never even talk to me much less see me to lead me on.

Katie: Exactly. So tell your friends to go die or fuck off. And im done with you too, so bye.

Kyle: Just a little payback for the shit Ginger would send me and you wouldn’t take responsibility of. That and Im pretty sure you cheated on me and didn’t have the decency to break up with me. AND the countless times we made plans to meet and youd never show or even text me back.

Katie: Lol, go fuck yourself Kyle. You now deserved everything you got. Good luck finding someone. Bye (:

I Don't Deserve This.
by: Kyle Wagoner

"You now deserve everything you got,” she said.
Funny I don't remember getting much at all.
I remember getting a lot of nothing.

Maybe I should back up. It was almost a year ago today.
She came from nowhere. Figuratively and almost literally nowhere.
She was the one to fill the void. The one to make it all worth the wait.
I barely knew her for a month when she died and her past was reborn in her.
Partying every night, drifting from me, losing all contact.

Chance after chance, attempt after attempt.
Fight after resolution, resolution after fight.
I was trying to resurrect my own past in her but it was far from immortal.
I am that guy she liked when she lived here.
I am that smudge of a memory she overlooks.
I am a fun joke from time to time.

And as fast as she was gone, she was back.
Here is my friend again. Not as far away as I remembered.
Two tickets to her favorite concert. What’s the problem with that picture?
Picture myself alone at a Paramore concert. That’s the problem.
I’m not here for the music. I’m here for someone who “couldn’t” make it.
But it’d be such a waste to just not go.

It’s such a waste to keep trying.
I don’t realize it yet. I won’t realize it for another few months.
Until then we meet once. We foolishly start “dating.”
This is the interesting part.
First college. Stripper. College again. United States Navy.
Can someone please tell me I’m not insane?

And that bitch, for a lack of more accurate word, that she keeps so near.
Ginger. A true wretch. Another body full of wasted space.
“She obviously doesn’t want to talk to you,” the wretch reports.
“Kyle, I didn’t tell her to say any of that,” she says.
Chance again.

It lasts another few weeks and I’m “done.”
Sick.of.it.all.
She’s sorry it ended that way. I’m foolish enough to buy it.
She wants to be friends again. She’s got a new man.
He’s not as new as she’d like me to believe.

One last shot.
Plans are made.
I go to town.
She doesn’t answer.
She doesn’t show.
It’s typical and finally clear to me.

“Tell her whatever you want,” I said.
“You’re a complete waste of time. You’re worthless,” Nick says to her.
(If only I’d have trusted his uneducated dose of words 8 months ago.)
“ Your friendship obviously is pointless…” she starts.
“Katie, I didn’t tell him to say any of that,” I say.
A smile in spite of a year of regret. Justice is beautiful.
“I’m done with you, too,” she says. (As if it matters now.)
She was never here anyway. There is no setting.
The only image our eyes share are the words of hate exchanged.

“…you cheated on me…you don’t take responsibility…we made plans to meet…you’d never show.”
No argument. No counterattack. No words of wisdom.
“Good luck finding someone,” she said, “Bye (:”

love,

Kyle